Jonathan Kellerman - Obsession

I sat down, motioned for her to do the same. She didn’t move, finally plopped on the couch.

“She did take excellent care of him,” I said. “That’s the reason Kyle’s father wanted her to care for his father.”

“The ‘A-hole with money.’ Wasn’t it his right to spend his money any way he wants? The colonel was dying, Dr. Delaware. Caring for him was good use of Mommy’s time.”

“Jordan wasn’t.”

“Look how he treated her, Dr. Delaware. You can’t call that rant rational . I don’t care what his problems were, there was no excuse. It’s not like he and Mommy were best friends. After seeing the picture, I vaguely remember seeing him-didn’t even know his name. Kyle barely knew him. Jordan lucked out by having a highly skilled nurse as a neighbor. When it was time to move on, he should’ve thanked her, not threatened to mess himself up.”

She slapped her knees. “I’m just so tired of people not being fair.”

I said, “You’re right. He should’ve been grateful.”

“After all she did for him, from the bottom of her heart.”

“Your mother was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met but we have learned that she got paid to look after Jordan.”

“How do you know that?”

“Kyle’s mother told us.”

“Her.”

“You know her?”

“Kyle told me what an incredibly self-centered person she is, never had time for him. Maybe it runs on that side of the family.”

More hair-pulling. “Okay, she got paid. Why not? But that doesn’t change things. It was Mommy’s right to move on.”

“Of course it was,” I said. “So you and Kyle have been talking regularly.”

“We hung out on campus a couple of times and yesterday we went to Coffee Bean. And I did ask him about Jordan but like I said, he barely knew him.”

“Has he seen the note and the photo?”

“No. Do I have to keep it a secret?”

“For the time being, that might be a good idea. How does Kyle feel about his father?”

“He’s okay with him. Why?”

“The detective investigating Jordan’s murder wants to talk to any extended family she can find. She’s been looking for Myron Bedard but hasn’t been able to locate him. Supposedly, he’s in Europe.”

“He is,” she said. “Paris. He called Kyle yesterday, offered to fly Kyle over, but Kyle’s too busy with his dissertation. Why does the detective want to speak to extended family?”

“That’s often where an investigation starts.”

“I thought this was a drug murder.”

“No one’s sure what it is, Tanya.”

She let out a long breath. “So she got paid. Why should she donate her time?”

“I didn’t want to upset you-”

“You didn’t. I appreciate the honesty. It means you respect my intelligence.”

She got up and paced the office. Tried to straighten a picture that was waxed in place, sat and jabbed a finger at the photo. “What I don’t get is why would she keep it all these years?”

“Maybe it meant something to her.”

“You’re saying she did feel guilty?”

“No, but she was a compassionate person,” I said. “Jordan’s pain could’ve touched her.”

“I guess…I’m so angry. It’s not a feeling I’m used to. I don’t like it.”

She buried her face in her hands. Looked up. “They’re coming back-my symptoms. I feel like I’m losing control. The house is so quiet at night, it’s worse than noise, I can’t sleep. Last night I fooled with my curtains for half an hour and then I washed my hands till they got like this.”

Tearing off a glove, she showed me knuckles rubbed raw.

I said, “We can work on all that.”

“Can or should?”

“Should.”

“How do you feel about hypnosis?”

“I’ve never really thought about it.”

“It’s basically deep relaxation and focused concentration. You’d be good at it.”

“I would? Why?”

“You’re intelligent.”

“I’m suggestible?”

I said, “All hypnosis is self-hypnosis. Receptivity is a skill that gets better with practice. Smart, creative people do the best because they’re comfortable being imaginative. I think it’s a good choice for you right now because you can get some quick results and go back to the excellent progress you made when you were a kid.”

No answer.

“Tanya?”

“If you say so.”

I began with rhythmic, deep breathing. After the third exhalation, she opened her eyes. “Where’s Blanche?”

“Sleeping in her crate.”

“Oh.”

“Hold on.” I fetched the dog, placed her on the couch next to Tanya. Tanya stroked the top of her head. We resumed the breathing exercise. Within moments, Tanya’s body had started to loosen and Blanche was asleep, flews puffing and fluttering.

I counted backward from a hundred, using my induction monotone. Matched the rhythm of my voice to Blanche’s snorts. By seventy-four, Tanya’s lips had parted and her hands were still. I began inserting suggestions. Framing cues for each breath as an opportunity to relax.

At twenty-six, the light on my phone blinked.

I said, “Go deeper and deeper.”

Tanya slumped. With the tension gone, she looked like a child.

So far, so good. If I didn’t think too hard about the larger issues.

When an hour had passed, I gave her posthypnotic instructions for practice and prolonged relaxation and brought her out.

It took several tries for her eyes to stay open. “I feel…amazing…thank you. Was I hypnotized?”

“You were.”

“It didn’t feel…that strange. I wasn’t sure I could do it.”

“You’re a natural.”

Tanya yawned. Blanche followed suit. Tanya laughed, stretched, got to her feet. “Maybe one day you can hypnotize me to study better.”

“Having problems concentrating?”

“No,” she said quickly. “Not at all. I was kidding.”

“Actually,” I said, “being relaxed would help with exams.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup.”

“Okay, I’ll remember that.” She reached into her bag. “I’ll practice every day-you did say something about that, right?”

“I did.”

“It’s a little…odd. I’m looking right at you but you’re…close and distant at the same time. And I can still hear your voice in the back of my head. What else did you tell me to do?”

“Nothing else,” I said. “You’re in control, not me.”

She rummaged in her purse. “Hmm…I know I’ve got a check here…”

“When would you like to come back?”

“Can I call you?” Extracting a white envelope, she placed it on the desk. “Signed and ready to go.” Her eyes shifted to Jordan’s letter and the photo. “You can keep them, I don’t want them.”

“I’ll pass them along to Lieutenant Sturgis.”

She stiffened. “Mommy helped him with his addiction, I don’t see how that would relate to his murder.”

“I don’t, either, but he might as well keep all the data. I would like to schedule another session, Tanya.”

“You really think so?”

“If money’s an issue-”

“No, not at all, I’m doing great in that department, have kept right on budget.”

“But…”

“Dr. Delaware, I appreciate everything you’ve done-are still doing for me. I just don’t want to be too dependent.”

“I don’t see you as dependent, at all.”

“I’m here, again.”

“Tanya, how many nineteen-year-olds could do what you’re doing?”

“I’m almost twenty ,” she said. “Sorry, thanks for the compliment. It’s just that…look at Jordan. All that rage because he couldn’t shake his dependency. Mommy taught me the importance of taking care of myself. I am not going to be one of them.”