William Lashner - Falls The Shadow

“You did what?” said Horace, the tone of his voice rising with incredulity. “When?”

“That time, remember, with the pawn and the queen. A brilliant combination, if I do say so myself.”

“I must have been too drunk to remember,” said Horace, “and I haven’t been that drunk since Wilson Goode dropped a bomb on my neighborhood and scared me sober.”

“I didn’t say it was recent.”

“No, you didn’t,” said Horace. “Now, move before my bones turn to dust.”

“Too late,” I said.

Simpson laughed at that, covering his mouth with long, bony fingers. Horace just shook his head.

“What you want?” he said finally.

“I can’t stay, I have a meeting upstairs.” Horace raised his eyebrows with interest. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m working on setting up the match I told you about. I haven’t heard yet.”

“All right,” he said.

“But I’m hopeful it will come soon.”

“You know where I’ll be.”

“Yes, I do.”

“That it?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Good, then maybe you can leave us be. You hovering there all fat and goofy like a piñata makes it hard to concentrate on anything other than banging your head with a baseball bat, not that I need much concentration to beat this fool.”

“Take this,” said Simpson, moving his knight with a flourish.

“Don’t mind if I do,” said Horace, smacking down the horse with a bishop from the corner.

“Damn,” said Simpson.

Isabel Chandler was upstairs in the apartment with Julia and Daniel Rose. The place was a jumble of cardboard boxes and black plastic garbage bags stuffed full.

“We’re moving,” said Julia, beaming. Daniel sat in her lap in shorts and a clean, long-sleeved T-shirt, his head pressed tightly into her neck. “Randy found us a place in Mayfair, like he had been trying to. It’s closer to his job, and there’s a room for Daniel. The school there is supposed to be really good.”

“That’s great,” I said, wondering why Daniel was hiding from me.

“Julia has been showing up at most of her parenting classes,” said Isabel, her file open on her lap. “I’ve told her that we expect her attendance to improve, and she promises it will. And Daniel’s teeth are doing really well.”

“Smile for me, Daniel,” I said.

Daniel lifted his face from his mother’s chest and, with sad eyes, bared his new teeth for just an instant, before burying his head back into his mother’s neck.

“You’re moving when, exactly?” said Isabel.

“Next week,” said Julia. “The new apartment is already empty. Randy’s been spending nights fixing it up for us, using paint the landlord supplied. Powder blue.”

“Nice,” I said.

“Why don’t we set up an appointment with one of our pediatricians in the area,” said Isabel, “so the doctor can get a jump start on monitoring Daniel’s progress.”

“Do we have to? Can’t we get settled first?”

“I think we should set it up now. How’s Daniel’s health been?”

“He’s been gaining weight,” said Julia. “He’s eating more. It must be his teeth. That doctor, Dr. Pfeffer, he did such a wonderful job.”

“He’s a helpful guy,” I said. “Make sure you follow his instructions.”

“We are. Randy is being especially attentive. Everything is going so well.”

“I’m happy for you, Julia. I really am. Do you mind if I take Daniel for a walk down to the park while you finish up?”

“We’re pretty much done, aren’t we, Miss Chandler?”

“I think so.”

“Why don’t we all go?” said Julia. “Daniel could use some fresh air, and so could I.”

“Grand,” I said.

We made an odd group walking down the street toward the park. Isabel and myself in our suits, Julia in jeans and a T-shirt knotted at her side, Daniel holding tightly to her thigh. It seemed evident from the clothing and the group dynamic that Isabel and I were representatives of the state, there to monitor and judge the singular relationship between mother and son. Frankly, I didn’t like the role. Who was in worse shape to judge the mother-son relationship than I? It had taken me years to get up the courage to reestablish a relationship with my own mother, and still, the possibility of her calling in the middle of the night left me gasping. And who was I to judge anyone’s relationship with a child, when all I really knew about children was that they sometimes messed up my suits? But there I was, and it seemed that Julia had finally gotten serious about doing what was required to properly take care of her son. Was I deluding myself to think that maybe my mere presence on the scene, looking out for Daniel’s interests, was having a positive effect? It almost made me feel… What was the word I was going for? I couldn’t grab hold of the exact word, but all of it made me feel… something.

Damn, maybe this pro bono stuff didn’t blow after all.

At the park the three adults sat on a bench and talked about Julia’s plans for her son as Daniel wandered aimlessly around the equipment. At one point he started climbing on the jungle gym, bracing himself with his knees, reaching up to a higher bar with his left hand. And then he stopped and carefully climbed down again.

“I’m going to have a little talk with Daniel,” I said.

He was standing by the seesaw, gripping the handle in front of one of the seats, pushing it up and down.

“How’s it going, Daniel?”

“Okay,” he said without looking at me.

“Are you excited about moving?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t sound excited.”

“I like it here.”

“It will be nice there, too.”

“What if she can’t find us?”

“Who?”

“You know.”

“Tanya?”

“How is she?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t found her yet, but I’m still looking, and I’m getting closer. I’m going to find her. And I’ll know where you’ll be, Daniel. I’ll bring her to you.”

He turned his head and stared at me. “No.”

“What’s wrong?”

“He doesn’t like her.”

“I know. I’ll be careful. But what about you, Daniel? Does he like you?”

“I don’t know.”

He turned away from me again, ambled over to the slide, rubbed his left hand on the shiny metal. I looked over at Isabel and Julia on the bench. Isabel was on her cell phone, her file open on her lap. Julia was staring at Daniel with a troublesome worry on her face. She stood up and started walking toward us. I stepped over to Daniel and situated myself so that the boy was shielded from his mother.

“What happened to your arm?” I said.

He drew his right arm close to his body. “Nothing.”

“Let me see it, Daniel. Please let me.”

“Nothing.”

I stooped down, gently took hold of his wrist, pulled his arm until it was straight out from his body. He winced.

“Did you hurt it playing?”

“No.”

“Did you fall off something?”

“No.”

“I’m going to roll up your sleeve, okay?”

“No.”

“Yes, I am,” I said, and then I did, and in that moment something shifted inside me.

“He burned it on my cigarette,” said Julia, standing now right behind me as I continued to stare at Daniel’s arm.

“I didn’t know you smoked, Julia,” I said, still stooping before Daniel, still holding his wrist, brushing the hair from his forehead so I didn’t have to look anymore at the arm.

“Sometimes I do.”

“I know Randy smokes.”

“It was an accident.”

“I don’t understand you. I’m sorry, I’ve tried to understand, but I just don’t. First you give away Tanya, and now this. It doesn’t even matter that they are your children, I don’t have any of my own, so I won’t even try to figure out how that must feel. But it is enough for me that they are children and they needed someone, and what they had was you. They needed you to protect them, and you turned away.”