Stuart Woods - Worst Fears Realized

That sucked the wind right out of Stone; he was unable to respond.

“I think about you all the time; about having dinner with you and Dino and Elaine; about living in your house; about making love to you; I think about that a lot.”

Stone put down his coffee and massaged his temples. This was pretty much all he had thought about, until recently. Now she was here. What was he going to do about it?

“Do you think about me?”

“Yes.”

She moved closer. “Do you think about making love to me?”

“Yes.”

She sat up on her knees on the sofa and ran a hand through his hair. With her other hand, she pulled loose the tie of his robe and ran her hand inside.

Stone took her hand and put his on her shoulder, then took her into his arms and kissed her face. “Don’t,” he said. “It’s too painful.”

“I want the pain to stop,” she said. “I want you.”

“You know very well that I want you, too.”

“Then I’m yours.”

Stone took a deep breath. “No,” he said, “you’re not.”

“I want to be yours again.”

“I can’t let myself want that.”

“Why not? We can have each other.”

“No, we can’t.” Stone could not believe he was saying this.

“I’ll come back to New York; I’ll get a divorce. I should never have married Vance.”

“But you did.”

“I made a stupid mistake,” she said. “Do I have to pay for it the rest of my life?”

“We both do.”

“I want to come back, Stone.”

“You can’t take Vance’s son away from him; I won’t be a party to that.”

“Then I’ll leave Peter with Vance. I can still see him.”

“Arrington, I saw you with that baby last night; you love being his mother, and if I came between you, you’d end up hating me for it.”

“I want you more.”

“No, you don’t.”

She sat up and pulled his robe open. “Make love to me,” she said. She ran her hands down his body and kissed him on the neck and shoulders. “Just this once; make love to me. Then, if you still want me to go, I will.”

Stone took her shoulders and held her away from him. “Listen to me,” he said. “I’ve done things in my life I’m not proud of, but I’ve never been an adulterer, and I’m not going to start now – not even with you, in spite of the fact that I’ve loved you more than any woman I’ve ever known. I just can’t do it.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks. “Stone, I love you.”

“Arrington, some part of me will always love you.”

“Then why can’t we be together?”

“We both made choices that we’re going to have to learn to live with.”

“I was living with them until I saw you last night,” Arrington said. “Really, I was.”

“Then you can do it again.” Stone stood up and pulled her to her feet. “You have to go home, now.” He walked her slowly toward the door, his arm around her. She was still crying. On the way to the door, Stone grabbed a handful of tissues from a box on an end table.

At the open door, she turned and faced him. “Don’t send me away; please don’t do that.”

“You have to go,” he said.

“You don’t really want me to go.” She sobbed.

He dabbed at her eyes with the tissues. “What I want doesn’t matter anymore.”

She took the tissues and blew her nose loudly. “Kiss me goodbye?”

He took her face in his hands and kissed her lips lightly. “Goodbye, sweet girl,” he said.

She turned and ran for the Range Rover parked in his drive. In a moment, she had driven away.

Stone walked back into the house and closed the door, trying hard to swallow the lump in his throat. Then he heard a car door slam outside. Oh, God, he thought, she’s come back, and I won’t be able to send her away again.

He went and opened the front door, ready to take her in his arms. Vance Calder stood on the little porch. “Hello, Stone,” he said.

“Hello, Vance,” Stone said weakly. “Will you come in?”

“No,” Vance replied. “I just want to know if I have anything to worry about from you.”

Stone shook his head. “No, Vance, you don’t.”

Vance took a deep breath. “Thank you for that,” he said.

“Just try to find a way to make her happy.”

Vance nodded, squeezed Stone’s shoulder, went back to his car, and drove away.

Stone went back inside, hoping that every Sunday morning in Connecticut was not going to be as hard as this one.

STONE LOCKED UP THE HOUSE, GOT INTO his car, and drove away. He wasn’t sure he’d done the right thing about Arrington, and it was killing him. He kept thinking about what it would be like to have her back again; then he would think about her son and his father and come back to the same place. When he had reached Pleasantville, he called Dino.

“Hello?”

“Hi, it’s Stone.”

“Where are you?”

“On the Saw Mill River Parkway. Can you meet me at P.J. Clarke’s in an hour?”

“What’s up?”

“I’ve got a lead.”

“From where?”

“Don’t ask, just be there, and for Christ’s sake, be sure you aren’t followed.”

“Awright in an hour at Clarke’s.”

He was in Yonkers when the car phone rang. “Hello?”

“Stone, it’s Bill Eggers.”

“Hi, Bill.”

“We have to talk, and we can’t do it on a car phone.”

“What’s up?”

“Let’s meet somewhere; when are you due back in the city?”

“I’m meeting Dino at Clarke’s in half an hour; you want to join me?”

“That’s fine; this concerns him, too. I’ll see you in half an hour.” He hung up.

Stone punched the phone off. Now what?

Back in the city, he found a parking spot near Clarke’s, then went inside. Dino was already halfway through a scotch.

“Hey,” Dino said.

“How was your weekend?”

“Lousy; how was yours?”

“Don’t ask,” Stone replied.

“What’s this about a lead?”

Stone took the paper from his pocket. “I’ve got two names that Mitteldorfer was friendly with in Sing Sing.” He handed it to Dino. “They’re both on parole, and they’ve got the same Manhattan parole officer. Tomorrow morning, will you give him a call and find out where they are? I’d like to talk to them with you.”

“You bet your ass,” Dino said. “It’s about time we got somewhere with this.”

“Here comes Bill Eggers,” Stone said, nodding at the door. “He wants to talk to us about something; I don’t know what.”

Bill greeted the two men. “It’s running onto dinnertime,” he said. “Why don’t we get a table?”

“Sure,” Stone said.

They sat down and ordered steaks, home fries, and beer.

“So, what’s up, Bill? You sounded depressed on the phone.”

“I am,” Bill said. “I got a call this afternoon from a friend in the DA’s office; Marty Brougham is taking the Susan Bean murder to a grand jury this week.”

“Then he must have a suspect,” Stone said.

“He does. You. You’re going to be subpoenaed.”

“First I’ve heard about this,” Dino said, “and the case is in my office. I smell something funny.”

“Look,” Stone said, “I don’t mind being subpoenaed; I’ll testify to what I know without a subpoena. In fact, I’ve already told Brougham I’d do so.”

“Stone, you’re a target; I can’t let you testify before a grand jury.”

“So, I should take the Fifth? How would that look?”

“It’s how this is going to look that bothers me,” Bill said.

“Sorry,” Dino said, “I’m confused. I’m pretty well versed on this case, having arrived half an hour after the murder and having heard Stone give a statement to two of my detectives. What does Marty know that I don’t know? Stone, is there something you haven’t told me?”