Stuart Woods - Fresh Disasters

“He hired somebody to run me down, too,” Stone said. “He had another airtight alibi.”

“An enraged serial killer using a surrogate?” Dierdre asked.

“Seems unlikely, doesn’t it?” Dino said. “Serials may be enraged, but they do their own killing.”

“Dino,” Dierdre said, “go to the men’s room and take your time.”

“Okay,” Dino replied. He got up and walked away.

Dierdre leaned into Stone. “Okay, I’ve heard your disclaimer, and I still want you. I have a disclaimer, too.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“This isn’t love, it’s sex. When I get horny, I do something about it, and I’m not talking about using my hand.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not going to cling to you, stalk you or make your life miserable. All I want from this relationship is an occasional drink or steak and a spectacular roll in the hay. We clear on that?”

“Perfectly clear.”

“Then let’s get out of here.” She stood up and started for the door.

Stone was right behind her. “Dino will get the check,” he said to Gianni. He kissed Elaine on the cheek as he passed her, and by the time he got outside, she was in a cab with the door open, waiting. Stone took a second to check out the block, then he got in.

“Anybody following us?” she asked, as they drove down Second Avenue.

“We seem to be alone,” Stone replied.

Dierdre undressed him slowly, kissing him here and there, then she shucked off her own clothes, revealing a body that had everything her dress had promised. She ran her fingers over his bruises. “That’s the worst bruising I’ve ever seen on anybody who wasn’t a corpse,” she said. “Poor baby.” She pushed him back onto the bed and began kissing him more purposefully.

Stone was delighted to find that he couldn’t think of anything but what was happening at that moment. He was tumescent and oblivious.

Dierdre helped with that, bringing him to full attention with her lips and tongue. “God, I love porterhouse,” she said.

Stone could make noises, but he couldn’t form words. He put his hands under her ass and lifted her onto him. She supplied the only lubrication necessary.

By the time they allowed themselves to fall asleep, Dierdre had kept every word of the promise she had made at the dinner table.

In the middle of the night, Stone got up to go to the john, and on the way back he walked to the front windows and looked down into the street. A black sedan sat, idling, a couple of doors up the block. The reflection from a street lamp on the windshield made it impossible to see who was inside.

“Stoooone,” Dierdre cooed from the bed.

“Coming,” he said, returning to her.

“Soon,” she said, holding the sheet back for him.

He settled into her as if she were a bear rug, and they started all over again.

After daybreak, he checked the street again. The black sedan was gone.

Stone sat in his office, his cheek pressed against the smooth, walnut desktop, snoring slightly. A voice came from afar.

“Rough night, huh?”

“Mmmmff,” he replied.

The voice came close to his ear. “Here’s coffee, very strong.”

“Bllllfff,” he replied.

“Wake up!” Joan shouted.

Stone sat straight up, blinking. Joan nudged the steaming cup of coffee closer.

“Either drink this and start making money, or go upstairs and go back to bed. You’re no good to me asleep at your desk,” she said.

“Right,” Stone said. He picked up the coffee cup and sipped it, burning his tongue. Down the hall the doorbell rang, the outside office door.

“I’m awake,” he said.

“We’ll see. Drink more coffee.”

Stone blew on it and sipped again. “I swear I’m awake. See who’s at the door.”

Joan sauntered down the hall toward the outside door. She was back in a flash. “Call Dino,” she said.

“Why?”

“There’s a box on the doorstep and nobody outside.”

“What kind of box?”

“Pretty big box,” she said, holding out her arms to indicate the size. “No return address or shipping form that I can see. Looks like it was hand delivered.”

Stone picked up the phone and pressed a speed-dial button.

“Bacchetti.”

“Good morning.”

“Good morning, rough night?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Everything I heard from you and Dierdre last night leads me to believe that you both had a rough night. Or was that just a lot of talk?”

“Rough night,” Stone said, “but maybe not as rough as this morning.”

“Clear that up for me,” Dino replied.

“There’s a box on my doorstep, no return address or shipping label, probably hand delivered.”

“How big?”

“Bigger than a bread box.”

“Don’t touch it.”

“You think you have to tell me that?”

“I’ll get our people over there pronto.”

“If it goes up in the street, people could get hurt.”

“I’ll tell them to finish their doughnuts quickly.”

“Thank you.”

“And you and Joan go upstairs.”

“Okay.”

“Right now.”

“All right!” He hung up. “We’re going upstairs,” he said to Joan, but she was already headed that way. Then, as he started up the stairs, he had an awful thought.

Dino sat with them, sipping his coffee. Nobody was saying much. “You don’t think it’s a bomb, do you?” he asked.

“Probably not,” Stone replied. “I think murder by car or hunting knife is more his style.”

A heavily equipped cop appeared in the doorway. “It’s not a bomb,” he said.

“Dino,” Stone said, “I think you’d better get a forensics team over here.”

“What’s in the box?” Dino asked the man.

“An aluminum case,” the man said, “the kind you carry camera equipment in.”

“How do you know it doesn’t contain a bomb?”

“I X-rayed it, then I opened it.”

“What did the case contain?”

“I think you’d better get a forensics team over here,” the cop said, then he left the room.

Dino opened his cell phone and pressed a button. “This is Bacchetti; it’s not a bomb. I want a forensics team and the medical examiner over here pronto.” He closed the phone. “You want to go see it?”

“I’ve already seen it,” Stone said. “I liked it where it was before.”

They all got up and went downstairs. The bomb squad had moved the box and the aluminum case into Stone’s office hallway. The cop stood in the door. “I don’t think we’re needed here anymore. Good luck.” He closed the door, and a moment later, the squad’s truck pulled away from its position in front of a fire plug.

The three of them stood and gazed at the aluminum case.

“There’s got to be fingerprints on that, right?” Joan asked.

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Stone said. “I wouldn’t expect fibers or DNA, either.”

Dino shook his head. “Right. At least, no DNA that would be of any use to us.”

“I need a drink,” Joan said.

“It’s eleven thirty in the morning,” Stone pointed out.

“If I don’t have a drink, I’ll faint,” she said.

“You know where the bar is.”

Joan disappeared upstairs.

“Funny thing is, I feel pretty much the same way,” Stone said.

“Me, too,” Dino echoed.

“I’m not going to have one, though.”

“Me, neither.”

“And I’m not going to faint.”

“Me, neither.”

“I may throw up, though,” Stone added.

“It’s your rug.”

Stone sat down in one of the waiting-room chairs and put his head between his legs.

A moment later, the doorbell rang, and Dino went to answer it. He came back with four people wearing latex gloves.