Stuart Woods - Dirt

Helene appeared with a bottle of champagne in a silver wine cooler and a pair of flutes.

“Just set it on the desk; I’ll open it,” Stone said.

Helene departed; Stone opened the champagne and poured.

“Veuve Clicquot,” Amanda said. “My very favorite.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he replied.

Amanda lifted the thin glass and took a sip. And Baccarat crystal, too, she thought. “Enough of business,” she said. “Tell me about you.”

“Not much to tell. Grew up in the Village; P.S. Six, NYU, law school, joined NYPD, made detective, took early retirement, practiced law. That’s me in a nutshell.”

“Stone,” she said, “men like you don’t fit into nutshells.”

He laughed.

“I’m having some people for dinner on Friday evening. Will you come?”

“I’d be delighted.”

She dug a card from her purse and handed it to him. “Come at six-thirty; that’ll give us time to talk a bit before the others arrive.”

“All right.”

She looked around the rooms. “Your books tell me more about you than you do.”

Stone shrugged. “I’ve nothing to hide.”

“We’ll see,” she replied.

Stone arrived at Elaine’s at eight-thirty, having only just sobered up from the champagne with Amanda Dart. Jack, the headwaiter, seated him at the table just beyond the newly painted no-smoking line and brought him a Wild Turkey on the rocks without being asked. Dino was late, which didn’t surprise him. They had dinner once a week, usually at Elaine’s, but Dino had a lot of demands on his time these days. Lieutenant Bacchetti, formerly Stone’s partner on the force, now ran the detective squad at the Nineteenth Precinct on East Sixty-seventh Street.

Elaine pulled up a chair and sat down. “You meeting Dino?”

“Yep.”

“He might be late; his kid had a birthday party earlier.”

“Then I’m surprised he’s coming at all.”

“I’m not,” she chortled. “He’d do anything to get out of something like that.”

“You’re probably right. Elaine, do you know Amanda Dart?”

“Doesn’t everybody?”

“What do you think of her?”

Elaine shrugged. “I don’t, much. She comes in here a couple times a month and eyeballs the crowd, but she doesn’t write much about the place. If she ever printed anything nasty about a regular, I’d kick her ass into the street.”

“Do you know her at all, as a person?”

“Not at all; strikes me as one cold dish, though. What’s your interest in her?”

“Oh, I met her recently, and she surprised me. Just wondered what your take was on her.”

“She behaves herself in here; she’s fine with me,” Elaine said, then she grinned. “You heard about this DIRT thing that’s making the rounds?”

“I heard about it.”

“Now, that’s funny, to see one of these broads getting a dose of her own venom.” She looked toward the door. “Here comes Dino.” She stood up, allowed Dino to give her a peck on the cheek, and wandered off toward somebody else’s table.

“Lord Barrington, I believe,” Dino said in an execrable English accent. He hung his coat on a hook along the wall and sat down, taking care not to wrinkle the jacket of his fine Italian suit against the chair.

“You made chief yet?” Stone asked.

“I woulda, if the mayor had any brains.”

“I just wondered; don’t you have to be a chief to rate a driver these days?” Dino traveled in an unmarked car, driven by a rookie detective.

“I like to give these kids the experience, you know?”

“Why don’t you invite him in for a cup of coffee, at least?”

“Let him freeze his ass off; when I was a rookie nobody ever invited me in for a cup of coffee.”

“That’s because you never paid.”

Dino looked outraged. “ I should pay?”

“I hear little Angelo had a birthday today.”

“Yeah, he’s four, if you can believe it. His grandfather wanted to give him a piece of ass for a present.”

Stone laughed. “I guess that’s the sort of thing you have to expect when you knock up a capo’s daughter.”

“The kid’ll make his bones by the time he’s six, if the old man has his way.”

“How’s Mary Ann?”

Dino made a face. “She wants to move into Manhattan.”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

“Are you nuts ? She’ll want eight rooms on the East Side; who can afford that on a lieutenant’s salary? Let me tell you something, Stone; don’t ever marry into a royal family. The princess will want to live a queen.”

“Wouldn’t her daddy kick in for a place on the East Side? I mean, doesn’t he love his little girl?”

“You bet your ass he would, but I can’t take that from him. Next time we get some commission looking into corruption on the force, they’d have me by the balls.”

“Not if the place is in her name, paid for with her money.”

“Shit, you think he’s just going to write her a check and say, ‘Here, honey, buy yourself a co-op’? Nah, he’d have to screw somebody out of the place, or he wouldn’t feel right about it, you know? I mean, he’d find some schmuck with a nice apartment who owes him a hundred grand on the book, and he’d take it away from him. That’s how the goombahs operate.”

“I guess you’re right. Still, if you’re living in Manhattan, Mary Ann wouldn’t have to see so much of her family, would she?”

Dino brightened at the thought. “You got a point there, pal. Anything I could do to get out of those family dinners would be fine by me. I walk into the house and everybody stops talking, you know? It’s like they been talking about burning down a building or clipping somebody, and now I’m there, and they have to talk about the weather. It’s uncomfortable, you know?”

Stone shoved a menu at him. “Want to start with some calamari?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Stone waved a waiter over.

They were on coffee when Elaine came their way, clutching a sheet of paper and laughing heartily. “Stone, you made the papers,” she said, handing him the paper. Dino leaned over to read along with him.

DIRT

Flash, earthlings! Our favorite bitch queen, Amanda Dart, has hired herself a shamus to track us down! Don’t you love it? No kidding, she’s retained ex-cop, now an East Side shyster, Stone Barrington, to find out how we know so much. You remember dear Stone: He was the cop who broke the Sasha Nijinsky disappearance case a few years back. For his trouble, the department shipped him out. Now he’s supposed to catch us at our work! Lotsa luck, Stone!

“What’s going on, Stone?” Dino asked.

“I don’t believe it,” Stone said. “This happened only this afternoon, what, five hours ago?”

Elaine was loving it. “I love it!” she crowed.

“Tell me,” Dino said.

Stone told him.

“You got nothing better to do with your time than to track down somebody for an old dame who got caught with her knickers down?”

“She’s an important client of Woodman and Weld, or maybe just an important person; I’m doing it as a favor to them. And she’s not so old.”

Dino shook his head. “Give me a good homicide anytime.” He drained his coffee cup and set it on the table, glancing at his watch. “I gotta be somewhere,” he said.

“Oh?” Stone asked, looking at his own watch. “You’re going home to Brooklyn so early?”

“Not directly home, no.”

“Dino.” Stone shook his head. “You’re going to get yourself in trouble.”

“What’re you talking about, trouble?”

“I know you; this unscheduled stop has something to do with a lady.”

“So?”