J. RoBB - The Lost

Aidan looked at the offer from every angle. She could leave now, and always wonder if Cullen’s Moira had been her grandmother. Or she could postpone her return for another two days, and know without a doubt.

Two more days in this lovely setting, and a generous check for her time spent.

She looked from Cullen to Ross. “I think it’s an excellent idea. And, as you said, it will eliminate any more doubts. You’ll make that call to the hospital now?”

Ross nodded.

“Then, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go to my room.”

Cullen stood. “Ross will walk you upstairs.”

“No.” There were entirely too many emotions bubbling at the surface already. She wasn’t up to dealing with the very different emotions Ross evoked each time he got close to her.

She backed away. “I’m used to taking care of myself. Just let me know when the technician arrives.”

Before Cullen or Ross could react, she walked quickly from the room and hurried up the stairs, eager to mull over all she’d heard.

Aidan paced the length of the room and back, her thoughts in turmoil. It wasn’t so much that her mind refused to accept the story told by Cullen, but rather that he had managed to plant a seed of doubt.

What if his Moira were truly her grandmother Maureen? What if the child she bore hadn’t been Edward Martin’s, but in fact Cullen’s?

“Oh, Mama.” Aidan struggled to hold on to the image she’d carried of her sweet, stoic grandmother, pouring herself into the intricacies of her husband’s business, staving off bankruptcy by the sheer force of her will.

Everyone who had known Maureen Gibbons had been astonished by her strength. Throughout her marriage she had deferred always to Edward. It was he who chose their furniture, each new car, even her wardrobe. Though not in the same category as a tyrant, he had definitely played a dominant role in their marriage.

Had he been chosen, not by her, but by her father? Had their marriage been one of convenience only, to hide the shame she’d visited upon her parents? It would explain so much about that distant relationship. Aidan tried to recall if she’d ever seen a display of tenderness between her grandparents.

At a knock on the parlor door, she looked up. “Charity?”

The knock sounded again, followed by the door being opened.

Annoyed, Aidan walked to the adjoining bathroom and splashed cold water over her face before hurrying to the parlor.

“I’m sorry.” Seeing her look of dismay, Ross paused just inside the doorway. “I suggested that you be given more time to compose yourself, but Cullen refused to wait another minute. He’s beside himself and sent me to apologize for having upset you. He begs you to look at some of the things he’s been saving.”

“I can’t. I’m not ready…”

He held up a hand. “In all the years I’ve known Cullen Glin, I’ve never known him to beg. This means the world to him. You,” he said for emphasis, “and your opinion of him have begun to mean the world to him.”

“I’m not who he wants me to be.”

“So you’ve said. But you’ve heard his story.”

“And he’s heard mine. Just because he wants my grandmother to be the great love of his life doesn’t make it so.”

“He has documents…”

“So do I. A birth certificate, a marriage license…”

“Which could have been filled in with any name, especially by immigrants who desperately wanted to hide their identity. You know that’s so, Aidan.”

“My parents and grandparents lived ordinary lives.”

“So do thousands of people who want to blend in.”

“Stop.” She rubbed at her temples. “You make my ancestors sound like criminals.”

“They were good people who thought a baby conceived out of wedlock to be something shameful. They were trying to protect not only their own reputations, but also that of their daughter. You heard Cullen. They thought him unworthy of their only child. So they started a new life in a new country, and persuaded Moira to do the same. Maybe she wanted a new start. Maybe she didn’t love Cullen as much as he loved her. Or maybe her loyalty to her parents was stronger than a tenuous love for an impetuous young man. For whatever reason, whether she was persuaded, or forced, what’s done is done. There’s no going back. But at least, while you wait for the hospital technician, read the letters Cullen wrote to his Moira through the years. None of them ever reached her. But he kept them, hoping that one day he could give them to her as proof of his love. It is his fondest wish that you read his letters and look over the mounds of documents he’s gathered through the years in his search for the love of his life. And then listen to your heart.”

She stared at the pile of papers that he set on the coffee table. “What do you get out of all this, Ross?”

He straightened. “I get to see a man I love and respect finally getting the chance to fulfill his dream.”

The words were spoken so simply, she knew they came from his heart.

As he started toward the door she said softly, “All right. I’ll read his letters and documents. But I can’t promise anything.”

By the time Ross descended the stairs, she was already settled on the window seat, lost in a young Cullen Glin’s declarations to the woman he’d love and lost.

Aidan looked up from the last of the letters, her eyes moist. What would it be like, she wondered, to love someone so deeply, and then face the loss of that love for a lifetime?

Cullen had poured out all his feelings on the pages of his letters. Had emptied his heart and soul, until she wondered that he had any passion left. And still he’d refused to give up his search for his Moira. There were piles of requests for information regarding immigrants from Ireland by the name of Fitzgibbon. A thick folder compiled by a private detective agency in New York State documenting every Fitzgibbon who had entered the country legally, and some who had found their way via illegal channels. And finally she found the current file, with her mother’s obituary from her local newspaper.

A lifetime search had ended with a death.

Aidan stood, flexing her cramped muscles just as a knock sounded on the parlor door.

She opened it to find Charity poised to knock again.

“Oh.” The girl snickered. “I thought you might be napping. Bridget sent me to fetch you. There’s a hospital technician in the library waiting to administer a test.”

“Thanks, Charity.” Aidan followed the girl down the stairs, aware that everyone working at the lodge knew just what was going on. There were no secrets here.

In the doorway of the library she paused. Cullen was seated behind his desk. Ross and a stranger were standing by the windows talking.

They all looked over as she stepped into the room.

Cullen walked around his desk to stand beside her. As though, she thought, to shield her.

“Easiest test I’ve ever taken,” he said with a grin. “A quick comb of my cheek, in triplicate just to be certain, and we were done with it.” He turned to the young man wearing latex gloves. “Patrick, this is Aidan O’Mara. Aidan, Patrick is with St. Brendan Hospital. He’ll administer the DNA test.”

“Miss O’Mara.” The young man handed her a long plastic stick with something that resembled a tiny comb at the end. “If you’ll comb your mouth for a full minute and place the comb in this vial, please.”

“Comb? I thought I’d be swabbing my mouth.”

“It’s the same. We call it combing.” He glanced at the tiny comb. “I’m sure you can see why.”

She did as he instructed, pleased that the tiny comb easily detached from its handle as she slid it into the vial. After handing over the vial, he sealed it in a plastic bag, which he carefully marked with a pen.