Leanne Banks - From Playboy To Papa!

Blinking, Nicole sat up, noticing that a soft towel had been draped over her. Surprised at how quickly the time had passed, she pulled Joel close for a hug. “When did you wake up?”

“A long time ago. You’ve been sleeping forever. I asked Daddy Rafe to wake you up, but he said to let you sleep. He put the blanket on you.” He tapped his foot impatiently. “I want to play Wii.”

Her heart stuttered at his reference to Rafe as Daddy. “Okay,” she said, smiling at him. “Go play Wii and I’ll get dressed.”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She glimpsed a slice of fear in his eyes. “Of course I am. I was just extra sleepy.”

“You’re not sick, are you?”

Nicole’s heart twisted and she shook her head, taking him into her arms again. “No, sweetie. I just stayed up too late last night.”

He let out a big sigh of relief. “Okay.”

Nicole realized that more than ever she represented safety and security to Joel. What if something happened to her? What would happen to Joel? The possibility clawed at her. Even though she’d made backup plans, Nicole hated the idea of him feeling afraid and abandoned.

Her stomach pulled into a square knot. Even though she was still uncertain about Rafe, she could tell that he was determined to be responsible about his role as Joel’s father. She would need to teach him.

Later that evening, after Joel went to bed, Nicole broached the subject with Rafe. “I need to tell you how to be Joel’s father.”

He shot her an incredulous look. “You’re going to tell me how to be a father?”

“I’m going to educate you about your son’s needs and how you can best take care of those needs,” she said.

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I have some idea about what a boy needs.”

“Your ideas may not be correct,” she said. “For example, did you know that Joel reaches for his purple elephant whenever he’s feeling insecure?”

Rafe’s face fell. “Purple elephant?”

“His name is Fred,” she said.

“Fred?”

She shrugged. “Joel likes orange juice and apple juice. When he eats too many sweets, he gets cranky. When he doesn’t get to bed in time, he gets cranky.”

“How many sweets?” Rafe asked. “What time to bed? Ten?”

“More than two cookies,” she said. “Nine o’clock bedtime is pushing it. Eight o’clock is best. And as you saw yesterday, if he has a super-active day, he needs a nap. He does best with a schedule. You have to stick to it.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

She suddenly felt a pain in her chest and struggled to take a breath. “Because you need to know these things if you’re serious about being Joel’s father. I may not always be around.”

“Why not? Is this because you might want to take off with Gerard Thomas?”

“No,” she said frustrated. “That’s the last thing on my mind. You and I don’t know how this situation is going to work out. And it hit me this afternoon that there are no guarantees. If something were to happen to me, Joel wouldn’t go to my cousin, Julia. He would be with you, and I can’t bear the thought of him feeling insecure or abandoned.”

He moved toward her and took her in his arms. “Nothing is going to happen to you. You’re going to be fine. You’re going to nag Joel for the rest of his life.”

Feeling his strong arms around her, she couldn’t stop tears from filling her eyes. She bit her lip and tried to laugh to cover her emotion. “I like to think so, but you and I both know that there are no guarantees. You still need to learn what Joel needs.”

“I know. I know,” he said. “But right now, this woman needs to go to bed.”

Allowing him to lead her up the stairs to her room, she was surprised at how much she craved his tenderness. It took her by surprise. Perhaps because her father had given her so little compassion.

Rafe escorted her into the room and urged her down on to the bed. She sat, looking up at him. “I need to brush my teeth.”

“You want me to undress you?” he asked with a wolfish expression.

She smiled and shook her head. “You need to give me a break. I can’t take you on now.”

“Damn. If I had a little less integrity, I would have my wicked way with you.”

“If I stayed awake,” she said.

“Oh, you would stay awake,” he said with a dark need in his gaze that made her feel as if she’d touched a live electrical wire. “I promise.”

Her stomach dipped at the way he looked at her. She pushed herself to send him away. “Thanks for helping me upstairs. G’night.”

He brushed a strand of her hair from her forehead and she couldn’t withhold a sigh. “G’night. Call me if you need me.”

She shook her head, unable to keep a slight smile from her face. “G’night,” she said with more finality than she would have thought possible.

Rafe couldn’t sleep. His mind weighed heavy with the responsibility of Joel and Nicole. In theory, she wasn’t his responsibility, but in his reality, she was.

Keeping the door to his suite open, he paced his room keeping an ear out for Joel just in case his son awakened in the middle of the night. His son. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe it. He was caught between an indescribable joy and terror, but Rafe was determined to be the father he’d lost. Nothing would keep him from it.

He went to the bar in his room and poured himself a shot of Scotch. He tossed back the liquor and felt it burn all the way down his throat. The thought of Nicole burned him in a different way.

For convenience’s sake, he wanted to take her. It would be easier if she was on his side concerning Joel. But that wasn’t all. She made him hot and bothered. He downed another shot and paced his suite.

He heard a sound, a loud moan, and stopped his pacing. A few seconds later, he heard, “No! No!”

Recognizing Nicole’s voice, he headed for her bedroom. She gave a loud shriek. Another. His gut twisted at the sound of fear and desperation and he entered her bedroom.

She tossed and turned, screaming. He immediately climbed into bed and took her into his arms.

“Help,” she called in a voice that stabbed at his heart, her arms splaying around him.

“I’m here,” he said, holding her against him. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

“I can’t breathe. I can’t-” she said, clearly disoriented as she clung to him.

“You’re okay. I’ll keep you safe.” He held her tight.

She took several deep breaths then opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Rafe?”

“Yes. You had a nightmare.”

“I dreamed I was in the hospital. I couldn’t breathe. Joel was crying.” She let out a ragged breath. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” He felt her strain to get close to him and something inside him seemed to shift.

Moments passed before her breath turned to normal. “I should tell you to go,” she whispered.

His heart hammered against his chest.

“But I can’t.”

Later, surrounded by darkness, Nicole awakened to the sensation of Rafe’s arms still wrapped protectively around her. Disconcerted, she tried to recall why he was in her bed, but reality smudged together with frightening dreams.

Rafe’s hard chest meshed with her breasts. Her legs twined through his.

She supposed she could have pulled away from him, but she wasn’t at all inclined. Instead, she buried her face in his throat and lifted her hands to his shoulders. She’d always been afraid of his kind of strength before, but at this moment, she wasn’t. At this moment, she craved it.

Groaning, he lowered his hands to her hips.

Nicole sucked in a sharp breath and went still.

He squeezed her hips and drew her into his crotch.