Laura Caldwell - Red Blooded Murder

Yes, you know. You had an orange in it one time. The other time you tried a lemon.

And I liked them both.

You liked them both.

This innocuous exchange led to more meaningful gazes and finally a kiss.

And God, did it make me lonely. Theo was sexy. It was fun to date Grady. It was even fun to date Sam after I thought I had lost him. But what I’d really lost was what these two had, the kind of love, infatuation, intimacy-whatever you want to call it, maybe all of the above-that made discussion about fruit in beer seem somehow beautiful.

“Hello!” I waved an arm in front of them.

They smiled, at me, then each other again. “Sorry.”

“Izzy, what’s been going on with you?” Lucy ran a hand through her blond pixie hair and beamed me a radiant smile.

I told her about my new jobs, the new guys. She told me about her kids, skipped over the topic of Michael and started asking questions about Theo.

Mayburn stopped her when she asked if Theo was a good kisser. “All right, Izzy,” he said. “I need to hear about today, and we have to let the sitter go in twenty minutes.”

Never had I heard Mayburn utter such a thing. But I decided to let it slide. I gave him the rundown about my day at the Fig Leaf. “So that’s it really. I’m not sure what you want me to look for or to do.”

“I want you to pay attention to everything. Pay attention to anything that seems off. Even a little bit. I just need you to collect the pieces. Remember what I’ve told you?”

“Yeah, yeah. The way investigations work,” I said as if I was reading the words from a blackboard, “is that you put lots of little pieces together. It’s like a puzzle. You have to be patient.” He had told me this over and over.

“Right. And I got another bit of advice for you. Like I said, don’t plan. Improvise.”

“Meaning?”

“Since we don’t know what we’re looking for, don’t hold tight to any set course of action. Don’t get freaked out if the way you’re doing something doesn’t work. Don’t plan. Improvise.”

Lucy gazed at him with something approaching wonder. “Wise words for life,” she said.

He kissed her.

“Okay, you two.” I put money on the bar. “I’ve got the beers, you get out of here and go get the sitter.”

They stood and pulled on their coats. Lucy hugged me again. “It was wonderful to see you, Izzy.”

“You, too.” I squeezed her thin frame.

I watched them through the bar window as they stopped in front and kissed again. For a long, long time.

I turned back to the bar and called Sam from my cell. “I’m at the Ale House. Can you meet me?”

“Mmmph,” he said.

“Are you sleeping?”

“Yeah. Exhausted from this morning. I went to bed an hour ago.” He breathed in, then moaned the way he did when he rolled over. “Sorry, Red Hot. I’m cashed.” He moaned again, and I could almost feel him, the way his body moved under the covers. “Our timing has been bad lately, huh?”

He wasn’t just talking about tonight or last night, and we both knew it.

“Yeah,” I said simply.

“Good luck at work tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

I was about to hang up when I heard, “Hey, Iz?”

I raised the phone to my head. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

In the air hung the words, No matter what happens to us.

I clicked the phone off.

Sipping my wine, I stared at my left hand. I missed my engagement ring. It had been an antique art-deco affair. An emerald-cut diamond surrounded by a frame made of smaller diamonds.

The phone rang again. I smiled, thinking it was Sam. The display read, Grady, cell.

“It has come to this,” I said as I answered the phone. “I am drinking alone.”

He laughed. “Where are you?”

“Old Town Ale House.”

“Nice. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” And he hung up. Because despite the fact that Grady and I were sort of dating now, we had been buddies for years, buddies who didn’t have to make small talk.

While I waited, I called Jane. She answered on the first ring.

“How are you?” I asked. “Ready for tomorrow?”

She sighed. “We’ve been shooting promos all day. But I’m still so freaked out about last night. I threw the flowers and the box away, but I’m jumping out of my skin. I feel like my house isn’t mine or something. I keep thinking someone is here.”

“Where’s Zac?”

Another sigh. “He went back to our house in Long Beach. He’s so pissed off at me. More than pissed off. He’s furious, and at the same time, he’s so detached.”

“Do you want me to come over?”

“No. Thanks. I’m going to bed. I have to be at the station at four-thirty. Are you ready?”

“I’ll be there at seven.” My real new job was about to start.

“See you then, Iz. And thanks for calling.”

I hung up with her feeling a distinct unease, a sense of anxiety.

A few minutes later, Grady walked in, edging his wide shoulders through the front door, running his hands through his brown hair. “I’m glad you called.” He slipped onto a bar stool next to me.

“You called me.”

“Only because I knew you wanted me to.” Grady ordered a Miller Light from the bartender. “So, what’s up?”

I told Grady about my job at the Fig Leaf.

“Are you kidding me?” He gulped his beer. “Stop now. You just gave me enough material to fantasize about for the next four years.”

I laughed, then we fell into silence. A heaviness filled the air. After being buddies for years, we’d made out a few times, gone out on a few dates, but nothing between Grady and me was official. We hadn’t settled into any kind of pattern, and so the question always floated there-would we or wouldn’t we? Would we fool around again? Would we sleep together eventually? Would we keep dating? If we didn’t, would we return to the friendship we’d had?

It was the friendship I needed more than anything, and so I forced another laugh. “Tomorrow I’ve got another new job.”

“About time. What is it?”

I told him about Trial TV.

“Nice!” Grady broke into cheers, clapping me on the back. The older man reading a book looked up at us and glared as if he’d just found us in his living room.

“Good for you, Iz.” Grady kept thumping me on the shoulder.

“Thanks. You’re always such a good friend.”

“And I always will be a good friend.” But then his grin fell away. “I got to tell you, though, Iz, I’m hanging in there right now, but in terms of me and you…” He motioned between us. “I won’t wait forever.”

I looked at my wineglass. Empty. I looked back at Grady. “I know that.” But I felt a wave of sadness. I’d known, somehow, that Grady wouldn’t put up with my waffling forever. Sam probably wouldn’t, either. But I didn’t want to choose.

I felt another tickle of understanding for Jane. I heard Jane’s words from yesterday. There isn’t just one person who can be everything to me. Different people inspire me in different ways, fascinate me in different ways…I just look at my own life differently after I’ve gotten a taste of someone else’s.

I looked at Grady now, still waiting for me to say something more. In his brown eyes, the color of tree bark turned dark from rain, I saw a friend who would always be there for me, no matter what happened between us now. Which meant we could play at being lovers. We could see where it took us. We didn’t have to decide anything.

I opened my mouth, about to tell him about the pearl thong, just waiting in my condo a few blocks away.

But suddenly I pictured it in my mind-me in those racy panties, Grady with me…naked? There was something wrong with that image. Grady, with his bottomless brown eyes, was my friend, first and foremost.