Brad Meltzer - Dead Even

“Are you okay?” Guff asked.

“I’m fine,” she said, unconvincingly. “I just don’t understand it. Why now?”

“Are you kidding? We have an election coming up next year. The mayor’s no dummy – he knows big government is out. And by not favoring one department over another, he’ll look efficient, fair, and industrious all in a day’s work. It’s a political coup.”

Sara put her hands behind her neck, trying to massage away the tension. As she tried to organize her thoughts, her mind was reeling. This was even worse than she expected – a wrecking ball against her ego. Why is it happening again? she wondered. Why isn’t it ever easy? Feeling self-pity wash over her, Sara remained silent.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your day so quickly.”

For a long minute, Sara didn’t say a word. But when she realized that she couldn’t just sit there and sulk, self-pity slowly gave way to defiance. What would Jared do? she asked herself. No, don’t do it like that. This isn’t his. It’s yours. It’s yours and it’s not so bad, she thought. You’ve been through worse. Much worse. At least here, it’s not final. At least here you’re not alone. At least here you can use your brain. That’s what he said: You’re smart. You’re smarter than everyone. Looking up at Guff, Sara broke her silence. “When do you think Monaghan’s going to take action on the memo?”

“Probably a week or two. Why?”

“I want to know how much time I have.”

“Sounds like you have a plan.”

“Not at all. But it took me six months to get this job, so I’m not losing it without a brawl.”

Impressed by his boss’s determination, Guff asked, “Then what do we do now?”

“You tell me,” Sara said. “You’re the one who works here.”

“All I know is you have to be in orientation until lunch, and I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, so we probably can’t get started on a solution until tomorrow.”

“Terrific,” she said, glancing at the clock on the wall. She looked back at Guff. “What do you think my chances are?”

“My honest opinion?”

“Of course.”

“Then let me put it this way: If I were a betting man…” He paused.

“What? Tell me.”

“I’d put my money on another horse.”

It was only one in the afternoon when Sara arrived back at her office, but her face was already showing signs of exhaustion. Although the four-hour orientation session was supposed to be a simple and informative introduction to the DA’s office, Sara spent every hour of it worrying about who would be the first to go. Still trying to figure out the answer, she collapsed in her seat. Before she could even catch her breath, the phone rang.

“This is Sara,” she answered.

“Well?” Jared asked. “How is it? I’ve been calling all morning, but you haven’t been there.”

“That’s because within my first hour of work, I found out I’m going to be fired.”

“You were fired?”

“Not yet – but Monaghan announced layoffs this morning and everyone thinks I’ll be the first to go.”

“Says who?”

“Says my assistant…”

“What does your assistant know?”

“…and my orientation leader,” Sara continued, “and the woman who helped me fill out my paperwork, and the attorney I had to cross-examine during my mock trial, and the four other lawyers I met in the…” Her voice broke and her eyes welled up with tears. “I’m not like you, Jared – it doesn’t all work out for me. That’s why people think I’m such a failure.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jared interrupted. “No one thinks you’re a failure. This isn’t anything personal – it’s a budget cut.”

“But you know what comes next,” Sara said. “More job searching, more interviews, more rejection letters…”

“Shhhhhh, calm down,” Jared said. “You’re going to be great.”

“The only one who thinks that is you.”

“That’s not true. Pop called me first thing this morning to ask if you won your first case yet.”

“Jared, you’re talking about my grandfather. He’s not exactly an unbiased source.”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re still going to be fantastic.”

“No, I’m not. I’m not prepared for-”

“Hunter College, magna cum laude.”

“Big deal – it’s a small city school.”

“What about Columbia Law School?”

“My parents paid the dean to get me in.”

“No, they didn’t,” Jared said. “And even if they did, didn’t you do well there?”

“I guess.” Sara shot from her seat and walked around to the front of her desk. “Damn, why am I feeling so sorry for myself? I sound like I’m in high school. Change the subject. What’s going on there?”

“Nothing,” Jared said. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

Sara raised an eyebrow. “Tell me about it now.”

“It’s not that important.”

Something was wrong. “Jared, you better not be doing what I think you’re doing.”

“Which is what?”

“Which is hiding good news just because you’re worried about me.”

“I’m not hiding anything. It’s not even that big a-”

“See, I knew it. I knew that’s what you were doing. Now spill it.”

Reluctantly, Jared gave in. “When I was coming back from lunch, Wayne came up to me and told me I was, quote, ‘on the right track.’”

“Wayne?” Sara asked, excited. “As in Thomas Wayne? Did he say when they’d vote on you?”

“The general consensus is that I’ll be up for partner within the next six months – depending on how much business I bring in.”

“That’s fantastic,” Sara said.

Jared didn’t respond.

“Don’t tell me you’re still worried about bringing in business,” she added.

“That’s why I didn’t want to bring this up now…”

“Jared, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I can handle two things at once. Now stop hiding and start talking. What about the list we made? Who’s left on that?”

“No one – I tried them all. Our alumni associations, the chamber of commerce, the synagogue, the church, the Ninety-second Street Y, the Democrats, the Republicans, the Kiwanis Club, the Rotary Club, the Toastmasters – if they have a newsletter, I’ve put an ad in it; if they have a meeting, I’ve sat in on it. I just don’t understand why it’s not working.”

“Honey, I know you’re not used to being human like the rest of us, but it’s okay to admit that something’s actually a challenge. That doesn’t mean it’s your fault.”

“I disagree. There’s got to be something I’m overlooking. Maybe I should dress a little more casually next time – just so they don’t feel like it’s a hard sell.”

“You never stop, do you?”

“Not until I figure it out. There’s always a solution.”

“Now you’re suddenly bold?”

“I’m always bold.”

“Jared, the only reason you wear your slacks uncuffed is because your dad still does.”

“That has nothing to do with a lack of boldness. The uncuffed look is elegant. It’s flawless. It’s in.”

“No offense, dear, but you have no idea what’s in. And if it wasn’t for me, you’d be equal on all sides.”

“Are you calling me a square?”

“All I’m saying is, we’re no closer to solving the problem.”

Just then, Guff entered her office. “Who wants to save their job today?” he sang.

“Give me one second,” Sara said to Guff, putting her hand over the mouthpiece. “Jared, I really should run.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Hopefully,” she answered. “And by the way, thanks again for listening.”

“Are you kidding? That’s my pleasure.”