Sue Grafton - U Is For Undertow

He’d found a spot in one corner of the room and he had his nose buried in a copy of Frank Herbert’s Dune. Deborah had read it two years before, when it first came out, and she was surprised that his skills were so proficient. Maybe Shelly’s homeschooling hadn’t been so bad after all. It was possible he was only hiding in the pages, pretending to read so he could observe what was going on without having to participate. He glanced at her once and then went back to his book. She wondered how much he remembered of her hostility toward him when he was a child of six. She’d eventually seen him in a kinder light, but her early disapproval had been savage and must have wounded him. She was ashamed that she’d blamed him for his behavior when Shelly was the one who should have been held accountable.

Greg crossed the room and gave her a bear hug. “Good to see you,” he said. “We were on our way south and thought we’d stop by. I hope you don’t mind.” He was treating their arrival as a common occurrence, like they popped in every week.

When Deborah put her arms around him, tentatively returning his embrace, she could feel his rib cage through the fabric of his shirt. She held herself stiffly, unaccustomed to the display of affection. She didn’t reciprocate his feelings, or what he pretended to feel.

He stepped back. “Whoa. What’s this? Are you mad about something?”

“You took me by surprise. I would have appreciated a call,” she said. She could have kicked herself for the stupidity of the comment. This was like coming face-to-face with home invaders, making nice in hopes they wouldn’t slaughter you where you stood.

Shelly snorted. “Yeah, sorry about that. Like we have a phone on the bus.” She hadn’t said “a fucking phone,” but the expletive was buried in her tone.

Deborah ignored her, addressing her attentions to Greg. “When did you get in?”

“Fifteen, twenty minutes ago. Long enough to use the bathroom and take a look at what you’ve done. New paper and paint. The place looks great.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you arrived.”

“We figured you were out running errands. Anyway, we needed time to cool it after being on the road.”

“Can I fix you something to eat?”

Shelly said, “Don’t bother. We already looked in the fridge. What a waste.”

“I’m sure I have something. I went to the store yesterday and stocked up for the weekend. What were you thinking of?”

“Nothing that involves cruelty to animals,” Shelly said.

Greg said, “We’re vegans. No meat, no dairy, no eggs, no animal products of any kind.”

“In that case, I guess you’ll have to have your meals somewhere else. I don’t know the first thing about vegan cooking.”

Shelly sounded put-upon. “We don’t have the money to eat out. We used all our cash to pay for the trip.”

Greg said, “We left San Francisco this morning and drove straight through.”

“Ah. Is that where you’ve been? We had no idea you were so close.”

Shelly said, “Something else while we’re on the subject.” She pointed at Greg, then Shawn, and then herself. “He’s Creed, he’s Sky Dancer, and I’m Destiny.”

Deborah lowered her gaze, keeping her expression neutral. She couldn’t wait to tell Annabelle, who’d howl with laughter. “I see. Since when?”

“Since we realized our birth names were completely meaningless. We each chose a name that represents the future, like a higher calling. Our vision of ourselves.”

“ ‘Destiny.’ I’ll make an effort to remember.”

Greg said, “Don’t worry if you forget. Everybody goofs at first.”

“I can well imagine,” Deborah said. “I’ll see if I can round up some towels for you. I assume you’ll be sleeping in the bus.”

Greg said, “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

From the way he’d phrased his reply, she knew he was waiting for her to offer them the guest rooms, with assurances they were welcome for as long as they liked. Their insistence on living like vagabonds must have lost its appeal. Nothing like clean sheets and flush toilets, especially when someone else is doing all the work. Shelly was giving her the hard stare she’d used so often before. Deborah felt a certain stubbornness take hold. She didn’t intend to let Shelly take advantage of her hospitality.

“We don’t want to put you to any trouble,” Greg added. “I mean, you might be using the guest rooms for something else these days.”

“No, not really. You probably saw for yourselves if you had a look around.”

“Yeah, that’s right. It’s just the way you said that about our sleeping in the bus-”

“Creed,” Shelly said. “It’s obvious she doesn’t care to play hostess, which is her prerogative.”

Greg looked at his mother. “Is that true? You don’t even want us in the house?”

“It’s entirely up to you,” she said. She knew full well they wouldn’t take her up on it. She and Shelly were in a power play. Shelly couldn’t ask for anything. She only won if she could outmaneuver Deborah, who was supposed to extend herself of her own accord, graciously bestowing favors on her guests to save them the discomfort of making their wishes known.

Now it was Greg’s turn to look pained. “Man, this is like a major bummer. We didn’t mean to intrude. We thought you’d be pleased to see us. I guess not, huh?”

“Creed, dear,” Deborah said carefully, nearly tripping on the name. “You and Destiny left four years ago without so much as a by-your-leave. We had no idea where you’d gone or what your intentions were. I don’t think you should expect to be welcomed back with open arms. That’s not how these things work.”

“Sorry we didn’t keep you informed about our busy lives,” Shelly said.

Deborah turned on her in a flash. “I’m not going to put up with any shit from you so you can knock that off.”

Shelly shut her mouth, but she made a comic face, eyes getting wide, mouth pulled down in mock surprise. Like, Lah-di-dah, the nerve. Did you hear what she just said?

Greg made a gesture, indicating that he’d take care of it.

At least he was starting to stand up to her, Deborah thought. Watching them, she felt like she’d developed X-ray vision. She could see all the little nuances in their communication, the ploys, the dodges, the way they tried using emotion to throw her off balance. This was like the children’s game of hot potato, where the object was to leave the other guy holding the bag.

Greg said, “So where’s Rain? Shawn’s been looking forward to seeing her.”

“I’m picking her up at three. How long did you plan to stay?”

“Couple of days. Depends. You know, we haven’t decided yet.”

Shelly cupped a hand to her mouth, like she was making an aside that no one else could hear. “Notice how she’s ducking the subject of Rain,” she said to Greg.

Deborah kept her voice in a singsong range, as though speaking to a child. “Well, Shelly-oh, excuse me. I meant Destiny. What is there to say? We didn’t think you were interested in Rain. There was never a letter or a phone call and not a penny of support for her. The child is ours now.”

“What, like you gave birth to her? News to me.”

Deborah didn’t think it was possible to loathe another human being more than she’d loathed Shelly in the past, but apparently, there were untapped reservoirs of hostility that Deborah could call upon at will. “We adopted her. We went through the court system. Your parental rights were terminated. That’s what they do when parents abandon a baby at the age of five days.”

Shelly said, “Fuck you, bitch. I’m not putting up with any shit from you either!” She got up, agitated, and snatched up her shawl. “Come on, Sky Dancer.” And to Greg, “We’ll be in the bus when you get done kissing butt. Jesus, what a mama’s boy.”