Karen Rose - Have You Seen Her?

His nod was almost imperceptible. "From the bad man. Winters," he added in a harsh mutter. "He tied us up and put us in a dirty cabin. He said he'd kill her. He said he'd kill me.'"

Her hand on his back faltered, then resumed the soothing strokes. "And you were afraid."

"Yes," came his barely audible reply.

Jenna swallowed and prayed for wisdom. "I know how you felt." She let the sentence sink in, then said. "I guess it was hard coming back to sleep in this room. In your bed."

His lips trembled. "Everybody thought I was a big baby."

Her heart cracked. "I'm sure they didn't, honey, even if it seemed like it at the time."

"They still do. Everybody comes to check on me at night, when they think I'm asleep," he continued as if she hadn't said a word. "They stand there and look at me."

"Why do you think they do that?" Jenna asked, very aware of Steven doing that very thing at that very moment. She could see the reflection of his stricken face in the mirror on Nicky's wall.

"Because they think I'm a baby."

"Well, I'm not a baby and I don't think I'm going to be too keen on going back to sleep in my bed either," Jenna said, inserting a tone of practicality into her voice. Anything to let this baby know that everything he'd felt, was feeling now, was so perfectly normal.

Nicky opened one eye. "You can't," he answered, just as practically. "The man sliced up your mattress with his knife."

Jenna flinched, her blood going cold at the memory of the knife at her throat, the sound of the mattress being torn to shreds. She cleared her throat. "Good point. But even if he hadn't, I'd have trouble sleeping in the same bed."

He didn't say anything and she mentally scrambled for a new angle. "Did you know I had a fiance before I met your dad?"

He shook his head into the pillow.

"His name was Adam. He got very sick, and he died."

Nicky squirmed onto his back and his eyes opened. "Was he very old?"

"No, he was still a very young man. Anyway, when he died… I couldn't sleep in my bed. He'd slept there when he was sick and I… just… couldn't."

"So what did you do?"

"I got a new bed. How would you feel about a new bed?"

Outside, Steven kicked himself for not having suggested that months earlier. He'd replaced his own bed, for heaven's sake, after Melissa died. He couldn't even think of sleeping in the same bed he'd shared with the woman who'd betrayed them all. He leaned closer, listening for Nicky's reply.

"My friend Jon? He has a bed shaped like a car ."

Jenna smiled at Nicky, watching Steven's face in the mirror from the corner of her eye. He was kicking himself, she knew. "It sounds pretty darn cool. I bet your dad'd go for that if you asked."

Nicky looked contemplative. "Maybe I will."

"Now about everybody checking on you." She made her voice overly dramatic and Nicky smiled. "I don't for one minute believe anyone thinks you are a baby. To escape like you did last spring took incredible courage. Not many boys Brad's age would have been so brave."

His smile faded. "Then why do they check on me every night?"

Jenna considered her answer carefully. "Well, you know my fiance?"

He nodded soberly. "Adam."

"Yes, Adam. Well, I would check on him every night. Not because I thought he was a baby or about to do anything stupid, but because I needed to. For me."

His brows scrunched up. "Why?"

She sighed, searching for the right words. "Nicky, when someone you love is in danger, you worry. And when you get that person back, you still worry." She thought about the hurt on Seth's face and finally understood his pain. "It's like when you cut your finger. It stays sore for a few days, even after the bleeding's stopped. I know that's why everybody checks on you. In the night, when everything is quiet, that's when people realize just how close they came to losing you. They need to get up and make sure everything is still all right. And just because you're safe now-" She gave him a serious look. "And you are safe, Nicky. You know that man can never hurt you again."

He nodded, still sober. "I know. He died in jail."

And I hope it was painful for him , Jenna thought with vicious indignation, but kept the smile on her face. "Well, just because you're safe now, it doesn't take your dad's worry away." Or Seth's , she thought, glad she'd made things right this afternoon.

"He's worried now," Nicky said thoughtfully. "About the bad man that's killing the girls."

Jenna's brows shot up. "What do you know about that, honey?"

"I saw Daddy on TV talking about it."

She glanced to the mirror, saw Steven's face pale. "He doesn't want you worrying about that."

"Well, if he's worried about me, can't I worry about him?"

Jenna's heart squeezed and in the mirror she could see Steven's throat working. Out of the mouths of babes , she thought. "You know what I think he'd like even more than knowing you were worried?" she asked, bending down closer. "A hug."

Nicky's lips thinned. "Hugs are for babies."

Oh, so now it's clear , Jenna thought. Steven had told her Nicky wouldn't hug anyone. "First of all, that's not true. I hug your dad all the time."

"That's different. You're his girlfriend." His eyes went sly. "Aren't you?"

Jenna chuckled, feeling her cheeks heat. "I suppose I am. But, Nicky, grown men hug one another. I saw Father Mike hug your father just last week."

"That's different," he said, overly patient as if she were a dull student. "He's a priest."

"Fine, suit yourself. But you have my word that hugs are not for babies.".

"Hmm," Nicky said, back to thoughtful from patient. "Well, if he wants one, he might as well come in." He looked at her pointedly. "He's been standing outside my door all this time."

Jenna didn't know what to say. "Steven," she called. "Your cover is blown."

Steven came in awkwardly rubbing his jaw. "I guess I need to practice that covert surveillance thing," he murmured and Jenna laughed. He dropped to his knees, grimacing as his joints creaked. "Nicky, I think we'll buy you a new bed as soon as possible. I'm too old to he sitting on the floor."

Nicky scrambled to sit up and Steven felt his heart hammer in anticipation. The one thing he'd missed above all others was the unfettered affection Nicky had always bestowed. He held out his arms and after a long moment's hesitation, Nicky crawled into them, his spindiy arms straining to span Steven's back. Steven hugged him hard, drawing in a breath and letting the simple pleasure flow as the seconds ticked by. "I love you, Nicky," he whispered fiercely.

Again a moment's Hesitation, then, "I love you, too, Daddy "

Steven looked over at Jenna whose fingertips pressed against her lips as her violet eyes filled with unapologetic tears. And in a flash of clarity, he knew he loved her, too.

Nicky struggled in his arms and Steven let go. "Ow," Nicky said comically and he and Jenna laughed, as Nicky wanted them to.

Steven rolled to his feet as Jenna fussed with Nicky's sleeping bag, covering him back up. Then he pulled her to her feet and slipped an arm around her waist. "Good night, Nicky," he said.

Nicky rolled over. "Night, Daddy. Night. Jenna."

Wednesday, October 12, 12:30 A.M.

It was past midnight when Steven slipped into the spare bedroom and closed the door behind his back. Jenna was sitting in bed reading and she jerked her head up, fear crossing her face in the instant before she realized it was him and she was still safe.

"Don't do that," she whispered, then relaxed. "Couldn't sleep either?"

He shook his head and sat next to her on the bed. "I was thinking about you. Wanting to touch you." He rubbed his hand along her forearm. "Needing to touch you."