Karen Rose - Have You Seen Her?

Her eyes dropped and when she lifted her eyes again he saw not compassion or ire or reproach, but heat. Want. Raw lust. Shuddering, Steven clenched his fists to keep from reaching out and cradling her face in his hands and finding out how soft her lips really were. "What's happening here?" she whispered.

I want you . Steven forced himself not to look lower than her face. Forced himself not to look down to her round breasts gently molded by the soft black sweater or to the tight jeans that showed off every curve. God, I really want you . He cleared his throat and lied. "I don't know."

She wet her lips and Steven's forehead broke out in a cold sweat. He needed to leave. Fast. Before he did something he was sure to regret. "I need to go." His voice was thick and hoarse. "I'll… I'll call you."

She nodded. "Okay," she murmured.

He made it to her front door when he stopped, his hand on the doorknob. He tried to ignore the throbbing of his body. It was no use. It was all he could do to stay where he stood and not go back and grind his mouth against hers until he found some relief from whatever madness wouldn't let him go.

"Your neighbors have keys to your apartment," he rasped out, feeling the words drag against his dry throat "You should change your deadbolt. As soon as possible."

"Okay," she murmured.

Steven chanced a look back and immediately wished that he had not. She sat where he had left her, looking straight ahead at the wall, her expression stricken. Guilty. A thread of her conversation with her neighbor popped into the forefront of his mind, pricking at his tenuous composure. "Who is Seth, Jenna?" he asked.

She didn't move a muscle. "My fiance's father."

Fiance . Steven physically staggered backward against her front door. "You're engaged ?"

Her head turned and he could see her face had grown pale. "My late fiance. Adam died two years ago." Her lips twisted bitterly. "Two years ago next Saturday."

Now he understood her comment on the fragility of life. "I'm sorry, Jenna."

"Thank you," she whispered.

Steven shook himself into motion. "I'll replace your lock."

"Okay," she murmured.

"Matt has a soccer game tomorrow. It'll be Tuesday before I can come back."

She nodded. "Okay."

"Dinner?" The invitation was out of his mouth before he realized. But it was too late to back out now. Father Mike would be only too pleased.

For a moment he thought she'd say no. Half of him wished she would. The other half wanted her to say yes with a yearning that threatened to rip him in two. Then she nodded and his heart started beating again. "Okay."

Sunday, October 2, 10:00 P.M.

Casey found her in the same position an hour later.

"What are you doing here?" Casey thundered, letting herself in with her key. "I thought you were dead on the highway. In my truck! Why didn't you call me if you weren't coming?"

Jenna blinked. Casey stood in her living room, fists on her hips. "What are you talking about, Casey?"

"Dinner? New Italian place on Capitol? Cute friend of Ned's?" Casey crossed the room and tapped Jenna's head. "Ring any bells in there?"

Jenna sighed. "I'm sorry. I forgot." She pushed away from the table and rolled her shoulders. "Damn, I'm stiff. Serves me right for sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I'm starving. Do you want something to eat?"

Casey followed her into the kitchen. "Were you not listening to anything I said? I ate. New Italian place on Capitol." She poked Jenna's arm. "Without you."

Jenna opened the freezer door and frowned. "You didn't bring the Rocky Road last night like you promised. Now I'm out."

"I forgot." Casey peered under Jenna's arm. "Hey, there's some vanilla back there."

Jenna just looked at her. Vanilla wasn't even worth the trouble. She wasn't even sure how it got in her freezer.

Casey looked worried. "What's wrong, Jen? And why were you feeling sorry for yourself?"

Jenna stared into the freezer. She closed her eyes, feeling the cold air bathe her hot face. "Casey, have you ever cheated on Ned?"

Casey choked. " What ? Where the hell did that come from?"

Jenna closed the freezer door. "Well?" she asked, urgency making her voice shake. She looked over her shoulder to Casey's guilty face.

"No." Casey stepped back and shifted her weight to one foot. Her eye twitched. "Not exactly."

"Not exactly ?" Jenna asked, knowing she sounded hysterical and not able to help herself. "What exactly is not exactly ? You either cheat or you don't. It's like being not exactly pregnant." She pulled herself to an abrupt stop. Casey's mouth hung open in shock. Jenna blew out a controlled breath and hit her forehead against the freezer door. "I am so totally insane."

"Jen?" Casey asked in a tiny voice. "Do you have something you want to get off your chest?"

"I am insane."

"You said that already." She squeezed Jenna's arm. "You can't seriously expect me to believe you cheated on Adam. You barely left his side the whole year after he was diagnosed."

"Not then. Now. Tonight."

Casey tilted her head, puzzled and tentative. "Tonight?"

Jenna spun and flopped back against the refrigerator. "He was here."

Casey frowned. "What are you talking about? Who was here?"

"Steven Thatcher," Jenna snapped.

Casey's brows shot up. "Oh." Her eyes darted back toward Jenna's bedroom. "You aren't trying to tell me that you… and he…? Jenna!"

Jenna limped back to the table. "For God's sake, Casey, of course not.'"

"Then I am confused. How did you cheat? Specifically now, Jenna. I need details."

"Steven was here. Long story." She massaged her temples. "He held my hand."

Casey was staring at her as if she were a french fry short of a happy meal. "And?"

Jenna closed her eyes, remembering the heat all over again. The almost-painful tingle that started at her fingertips and shot straight down to her core. "He looked at me." And she'd felt helpless to look away. She didn't want to look away. He'd wanted her. And God help her, she'd wanted him. She would have willingly kissed a man she'd barely met. And then what?

Jenna looked over to find Casey staring, her blue eyes rife with concern. Jenna looked away. "I held his hand and he looked at me and I think I would have done anything he asked. Anything."

Casey gently grabbed Jenna's chin and brought her face around. "And?"

"I wanted to… you know… just holding his hand, Case." Jenna looked into her best friend's eyes and made herself say the awful truth. "And I never felt that way with Adam. Never," she whispered.

Monday, October 3, 1:35 A.M.

"Jenna," Casey called from the doorway of the faculty lounge, "wait up."

Jenna stopped, her head still pounding from sheer fury at listening to Blackman's lecture a second time, practically commanding her to give "young Rudy" a passing grade.

Casey caught up, huffing and puffing. "'Where's the fire, Marshall? Slow down. You've got twenty minutes till the first bell. Besides, doesn't that hurt your ankle, walking that fast?"

"Yes, but the throbbing in my ankle takes my mind off the throbbing in my head," Jenna answered curtly. "Keep up, Thumbelina," she added, her voice as sour as her disposition. "I'm in a really pissy mood this morning."

"No shit," Casey muttered, then was blessedly silent until they stopped in front of Jenna's closed classroom door. Casey leaned against a locker and looked up, her eyes worried and her forehead covered in a sheen of perspiration. "Look, Jen, I don't mind a morning run, but you could at least have let me change into my cleats." She stood on one foot and rubbed her ankle. "What's gotten into you this morning?"