Beverly Barton - Grace Under Fire

Grace wondered why Jed didn't answer her, why he wouldn't allow his gaze to meet hers. There was something he didn't want to tell her, something too painful to share. Had, as she suspected, Jed lost someone to Booth Fortier's ruthlessness?

"Jed?" She took a few hesitant steps toward him, wanting to put her arms around him and offer him comfort.

He held up a restraining hand. She stopped immediately. Oh, her poor Jed. What could be so horrible that he couldn't tell her? And she knew from the pained expression on his face that his experience with the infamous Mr. Fortier had been horrible.

"Jed, whatever it is, you can tell me. I'll understand."

He took a deep breath, then faced her, his mossy hazel-brown eyes searching for the understanding she'd promised. "I knew Fortier." He paused. "I'd rather not go into too many details. Not tonight."

"All right." Grace kept her distance, despite the overwhelming desire to rush to Jed.

"He had my father murdered."

She could tell that the bold statement hadn't been intentional. It was as if Jed's very soul needed to make a confession, to share a painful secret.

When Jed turned his back on her, she wondered if he was crying. "Oh, Jed, I'm so sorry. I felt it was something like that. No wonder-"

"Don't!" He snapped around and glared at her, his face etched with anger. "I don't want or deserve your sympathy."

"Jed, please… what is it? What's wrong?" She rushed toward him, but when he backed away from her, she paused. "You're frightening me. What-?"

"My family…" He swallowed. "The people I come from were criminals, part of organized crime here in Louisiana. Don't you see, don't you understand-when I was eighteen, I ran away from Booth Fortier and his kind."

For a moment she didn't know what to say, didn't know how to respond. What he'd told her was certainly a surprise; she'd never expected to hear that Jed's family had worked for the syndicate. No wonder he knew so much about Booth Fortier.

"You aren't your family," she told him. "You aren't responsible for what they did. You didn't choose that type of life. You chose to be different. You're a good man, Jed." She walked over to him, lifted her hand and caressed his cheek. "You have nothing to be ashamed of-nothing!"

He shoved her hand aside, then narrowed his gaze and focused on her eyes. "I knew Jaron Vaden, the man who was dumped outside your front gate."

Grace gasped.

"We were friends as teenagers."

"How terrible it must have been for you to see him tonight. Murdered."

"Stop being so damn understanding!"

She stared at him, totally puzzled by his attitude. "If you're trying to make me dislike you-"

"You should, you know. You should hate my guts."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not a nice man, not a good man. And I've kept things from you. More things than you can imagine." He grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "I am the worst man on earth for you, but God help me, I want you so bad I ache with the wanting."

"Oh, Jed… I-I-"

"Get away from me." He released her. "And stay away from me."

"What if I don't want to… what if I can't?" Hearing herself say it made her realize it was true. She wanted Jed… the way he wanted her. The passion between them didn't make sense and they both knew it was crazy, knew they were all wrong for each other. And how was it that she could have such powerful feelings for a man she'd met only a few days ago?

"Damn it, Grace, you don't know me at all. I'm absolutely nothing like your rich, brilliant husband. I'm just a good old boy, without a college degree, who has a shady family history. All my edges are rough. I'm a crude, ornery ex-soldier who knows a hell of a lot more about danger and death than I do about living and loving."

He sounded as if he was warning her off, but her heart recognized his admission for what it was-a plea for her to want him despite all the reasons she shouldn't.

"I loved Dean Beaumont and thought I'd spend the rest of my life with him. I know I'll never find another man like him." She sensed Jed's discomfort and noticed him wince at the mention of her husband. "I'm not saying I've fallen in love with you…" She smiled. "In lust maybe." He reacted with a halfway smile. "What I'm trying to say is that I don't expect you to be like Dean. I don't want you to be a replacement for Dean. I want you, Jed. I want you just the way you are."

He grabbed her and pulled her into his arms so fast he took her breath away. With his cheek pressed firmly against hers, he held her close and whispered hoarsely, "No past, no future. Just the here and now."

"Yes, just the here and now." She stood on tiptoe so that their mouths were perfectly aligned. She understood that for this moment in time, they had no yesterdays and no tomorrows. They were simply two people wanting and needing each other.

He kissed her. A million butterflies danced wildly in her stomach. He deepened the kiss. Skyrockets burst inside her head. His big hands cupped and lifted her buttocks, then yanked her up against him so that she could feel his arousal. Her nipples peaked; her femininity moistened. A maddening ache throbbed between her legs.

He kissed her again and again and again. Her mouth, her face, her neck. She ran her hands over his hard pectoral muscles, loving the feel of him. He tore off her robe and tossed it aside, then ripped the buttons from her silk pajama top as he jerked it off her. She unzipped his jeans, which he shrugged off and onto the floor, then she helped him remove her pajama bottoms. And all the while they kept kissing and touching. When they were both naked, Jed swung her up in his arms and carried her to his bed. He flung her on the rumpled bedspread, then came down over her. They kissed wildly, passionately, as they tossed about on the bed. His lips were everywhere, tasting her skin from mouth to toes. Her hands grasped and plucked and explored. He pinched her nipples, then laved them with his tongue. While he tested her readiness, she circled his sex with her fingers and stroked him.

"I want you inside me," she told him. "I want you now."

He eased off her and got up. She reached for him.

"I'll be right back," he assured her. "The pack of condoms is in my shave kit." The pack of condoms Dom Shea picked up for him earlier today.

While he disappeared into the bathroom, she scooted the bedspread, blanket and sheet to the foot of the bed, then rested her head on one of the two huge goose down pillows. She stretched like a cat basking in the sun. Every fiber of her being was ready and waiting… and wanting. Jed had awakened her sleeping sensuality, making her feel brazen and sexy. And for one crazy moment, she wished Jed would make love to her without protection. Just for that one moment she wanted something she thought she'd never want again-to get pregnant. Pregnant with Jed's baby.

"Are you out of your mind calling me at this ungodly hour?" Oliver Neville yelled into the telephone.

"Too bad I woke you," he said. "But I was awakened by several phone calls myself. It seems that there was a news bulletin on our local Sheffield Media, Inc. owned station about a body being dumped in front of Belle Foret tonight. I've had four phone calls from Sheffield Media employees, all worried about Grace."

"You shouldn't have your phone number listed in the book," Oliver said.

"You promised me that nothing would happen to Grace. You swore to me that she'd be safe."

"No one has harmed a hair on Ms. Beaumont's head, have they?"

"Not yet, but-"

"Then stop worrying. And stop calling me."

"Swear to me that Fortier isn't planning to hurt Grace. If he hurts her, I'll-"

"You'll do what? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not if you want to stay out of trouble."