Beverly Barton - Grace Under Fire

No, not an accident. After Daddy and Dean were murdered , she told herself. After Booth Fortier killed my husband, my father and my baby.

Emotion lodged in her throat. She swallowed hard and willed herself under control. "I'm sorry," she said. "I don't usually…" Her voice cracked. Damn!

"Grace, it's all right," Jed told her. "Anyone would have reacted the same way." He held his hands in front of him, palms up, as if he wanted to reach for her.

She glanced down at the scattered photos and manila envelope in the driveway. Quivering, she closed her eyes, but instead of blocking out the sight of the pictures, she simply visualized them in her mind. Her eyelids flew open.

"I never want to see them again," she said.

Jed nodded.

"I should have listened to you." Grace wiped her damp face with her fingers. "Both you and the other Dundee agent tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen, would I?"

When she swayed slightly, Jed reached out to steady her. So strong was the physical reaction he created within her that his mere touch seared her, as if his hands were on fire. She tensed. Their gazes met and froze. Her heart pounded, loud and fast, rumbling in her ears.

"Don't try so hard to be brave," he told her. "You're only human. If you need somebody to lean on right now, lean on me."

She lifted her hand and placed it over his where he gently gripped her arm. "I want to go inside my house, up to my bedroom and shut out the world. I want to find a way to forget what I saw, to erase the memory of those pictures from my mind."

"I understand." He released her arm. "You go on. I'll gather up everything and take care of it, then I'll come upstairs and check on you."

"Just leave them," Grace said. "They'll still be there in the morning. Please, come with me… I don't want to be alone. Not just yet." She hadn't meant her words to translate into an invitation, but seeing the hunger in Jed's eyes, she wondered if he had misinterpreted. Although a part of her wanted Jed, the saner part of her kept telling her that getting emotionally involved with her bodyguard would be a major mistake. "I didn't mean… I'm upset and confused and-"

Jed reached down and slipped her hand into his. "It's all right. I understand. I didn't think you were inviting me into your bed."

A relieved sigh escaped her lips. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so weak, so utterly exhausted. Emotional stress could quickly deplete the body's physical energy.

Leaving the horrible photos where they had cascaded onto the brick driveway, Grace and Jed walked up the steps, onto the veranda and into the house. He held her hand securely, but didn't touch her in any other way; nor did he say a word. His silent strength supported her, the touch of his hand comforting beyond measure. Jed paused in the foyer to reactivate the security system and close the gates, but he accomplished both with one hand, not breaking the physical contact with Grace. She wasn't sure exactly why, but she felt as if she'd be lost, as if she'd drift away into nothingness, were Jed to let go of her.

Side by side, hand in hand, they made their way up the spiral staircase. When they reached the open landing, Grace glanced downstairs and caught a glimpse of Laverna and Nolan standing together in the foyer, both with concerned looks on their faces. She offered them a weak smile. No explanations. Not now. All she wanted was to forget. Forget the photographs. Forget the pain that tore her apart inside when she remembered lying in Dean's arms, knowing the security and love he provided. Forget how difficult life was each day without her husband, without her wonderful father… without the hope of a child. Instinctively her hand went to her belly, to that spot where Emma Lynn had lain, nurtured and protected from the outside world. Until one deadly night…

Jed looked directly at Nolan and said, "Would you mind picking up some photographs Grace left in the driveway."

"No, sir, I don't mind."

"Just put them away for safekeeping tonight and I'll collect them from you later."

"Yes, sir. I'll take care of it immediately."

Realizing Jed was simply doing his job-making sure any evidence of the threat against her life was retained and at the same time taking care of her-Grace sighed. While she wanted nothing more than to forget those photographs, she understood that Jed couldn't leave them lying outside where they could be stolen or blown away in the wind.

Trusting Nolan to carry out Jed's instructions, Grace led her bodyguard into her bedroom and closed the door, then reluctantly released his hand. "I don't think I'll sleep a wink tonight. Would you mind staying up with me? We can talk or play cards or listen to music or…" Fueled by nervous agitation, she paced around the room. "God, I feel as if I'm losing my mind."

Jed came up behind her and stopped her in mid-stride by placing his arms around her and pulling her back against his chest. After crossing his arms to encompass her, he lowered his head just enough so that his chin rested on the top of her head.

For half a second she thought about breaking free, but instead she melted against him, surrendering to the pleasure of being held. His was not her father's protective embrace nor was it Dean's loving embrace, but rather it was comfort. The comfort of another human being, of another warm body, on a night when the worst thing for her was to be alone.

"What were you like as a little girl?" Jed asked.

She breathed in the unique scent that was Jed Tyree. Soap and water. Sunshine. A hint of some subtle aftershave. No expensive colognes. Nothing to mask the pure masculinity he exuded.

Her head lolled back to rest comfortably against him as she lifted her chin. "I was spoiled rotten because I was an only child. I was Daddy's little darling. What about you-what were you like as a little boy?" She felt him tense and wondered if she'd mentioned a sensitive subject.

"My father died when I was small. And my mother…" Jed lowered his head and rubbed his cheek against her temple. "My mother was sick and spent most of my life in an institution. I lived with my uncle."

"Oh, Jed, how terrible for you." Grace gazed at him sympathetically. "I thought losing my mother when I was sixteen was tragic, but at least I had both her and my father while I was growing up. You must have been a very sad little boy without a mother."

"Yeah, I think every little kid needs a mama. Probably more than anything else, even a father or brothers and sisters. But I survived."

Sensing Jed's uneasiness at discussing his childhood, at appearing vulnerable to her, Grace changed the subject.

"I always wanted a brother or a sister. What about you? Did you have brothers or sisters?" Jed was so close, his arms surrounding her, capturing her with his gentleness.

"I was an only child, too. I had a buddy who had a younger sister and she looked up to him. They were very close. I guess I envied that, would like to have had it for myself."

"I mostly wanted a brother," Grace admitted. "A sister would have been too much competition. You know how we spoiled little rich girls are."

Jed chuckled. "Did you always get everything you wanted?"

"Most of the time, but not always. Believe it or not, Daddy did expect me to behave myself, even though I usually had a difficult time sharing. What was mine was mine… that sort of thing."

When Jed nuzzled the side of her face, tingles of awareness radiated through her. Her nipples peaked. No, she couldn't allow this to happen. She jerked away from him, desperately needing to put some distance between them. When she crossed the room and stood by the double French doors that led out onto the upstairs porch circling the entire house, Jed didn't follow her. Not at first. She opened both doors and stepped outside into the moist nighttime air. Although the temperature had dropped, the humidity remained, making it feel warmer than the thermostat indicated.