Mariah Stewart: Dead End

Like his life.

Well, he’d almost had it all, hadn’t he? The girl, the job, the future he’d always dreamed of. Then, of course, he had to go and let that green-eyed monster take over his intellect, had to go and open his big mouth. Well, that was the end of that. Shit, he must have sounded like a bratty adolescent who’d caught his girl walking with another guy to her locker.

He blew out a long breath that was filled with exasperation and self-doubt. He had some big decisions to make, and he’d have to make them now, before things between Annie and him got any worse.

Like they could get worse.

He went inside, dropped the empty beer bottle into the glass recycling bin, and got himself another, then went back outside. He walked the deck frame, balancing carefully as he followed the narrow supports that would eventually be covered with flooring.

If I get that far.

He stood at one end, the end where he’d planned on building steps that would go into the narrow backyard. A few months ago, back in the early spring, he and Annie had stood out here and discussed flower beds. She’d been excited about the prospect, and they’d spent an afternoon talking about how he would go about digging beds around the entire perimeter of the yard so that she could plant her favorites-roses, peonies, hollyhocks. All the staples of an old-fashioned garden, she’d told him, just like the one her mother had planted in the tiny yard of their twin home in Philadelphia ’s University City back when her father was a professor at Drexel. Annie’s cheeks had flushed with the joy of that memory, and her eyes had sparkled at the prospect of re-creating her mother’s garden.

Evan had dug up one section that weekend, a short piece across the back face, and the following day, Annie had gone to the nursery and bought three peonies, which they’d planted together.

“The man at the nursery said that they won’t bloom for a few years, but that’s okay.” She’d smiled up at him. “We can wait them out together. Just think how much we’ll appreciate those first flowers when they finally bloom…”

That had been the last time they’d worked on it. The responsibilities that came with both their jobs had intervened. Now Annie’s garden lay before him, just one more loose end in his life. Just one more thing he’d started, but never got around to finishing.

Evan put the beer down on the back-porch steps and went into his garage. He emerged a minute later, carrying a shovel. He went straight to one side of the fence, walked off a depth of three feet, and began to dig. When he finished with one side, he began to dig along the other, until the entire fence was framed with a newly dug bed.

He stood in the middle of the yard, panting slightly from exertion. If she came back, the garden would be ready for her to plant.

He leaned upon the shovel handle and asked himself just how likely it was that she’d come back.

“Fat chance, Crosby,” he muttered aloud. “Why would she?”

Because she loves me. His inner voice spoke without hesitation.

Dragging the shovel, he walked back to the porch, took a long swig of lukewarm beer, and told himself something he already knew.

The ball is in my court. First, I need to decide how I feel about her.

Do I love her? Yes.

Do I want her? Yes.

How far am I willing to go for her?

As far as it takes…

But how, he wondered, could they plan a life together, with the specter of her dead fiancé standing between them?

As long as questions about Dylan’s life remained unanswered, Evan knew he and Annie could not move forward, could not plan a life together. It was as simple as that.

“Okay, then. So that’s the bottom line.” He muttered the words aloud, acknowledging what had to be done.

Maybe he’d known all along. Maybe Friday night had just brought it all into focus.

He dialed Annie’s cell phone and was disappointed when he got her voice mail. Taking a deep breath, he began.

“Annie, I’m sorry. I acted like a fool. A very immature fool. I’m trying to put myself in your place, and I guess maybe I’d feel the same way. If something happened to you… well, I doubt I’d ever rest until I found the truth. I’d owe you that much. Just as you owe Dylan. So. We need to talk.”

He paused, then added, before he hung up, “I love you, Annie. With all my heart. I’m not willing to spend the rest of my life without you. If finding Dylan’s killer is what we need to do in order for this thing to work between us, then let’s do it. Let’s try to figure it out so that Dylan can be at peace. And so can we…”

He tried to think of something else to say, then realized he’d said it all. He disconnected the call and slipped the phone back into his pants pocket. There was still another hour or so of daylight. The local nursery was only ten minutes away. Maybe he’d have time to pick out a rosebush or two.

On his way to his car, his phone rang.

“ Crosby.” He smiled, anticipating the sound of her voice.

“Evan, we need you. We’ve found another body…”

“Where?” His adrenaline began to flow, and Annie’s garden was, once again, forgotten.

It was four in the morning before Evan had a chance to check his messages. His message to Annie had been received-apparently well received, since she’d asked him to return the call, regardless of the time.

“Hi.” She answered the phone on the third ring, her voice heavy with sleep.

“Hi.”

“You still on the job?”

“Yeah.” He glanced around at the crowd of law enforcement personnel that seemed to grow by the minute.

“Like the others?”

“Like the others, but different. Same difference as the last one.”

“She’s Hispanic. No ID. And no one reported her missing.”

“Right. ’Course, maybe by morning, we’ll have gotten a call. Someone might be looking for her by now, or maybe someone thinks she’s at a friend’s house… there could be a hundred maybes when you’re dealing with a kid, you know?”

“I know. I saw your chief on TV yesterday.”

“The press has been all over this. It’s national news. The grandfather of one of the victims is an ambassador.”

“I saw him on CNN.”

“So did I. He had some harsh words for the D.A.”

“Yeah.”

The awkward pause he’d been avoiding settled in. It was now or never.

“Look, Annie, I… I had this idea. I’m thinking that, well, I’m thinking maybe we should take one more look at Dylan’s death. I’m thinking you’re right, to want to clear this thing for him. And I have to be honest with you, looking at this from a strictly selfish point of view, I’m thinking it’s going to be that much harder for you and me to move forward with our own relationship while there’s still this long, dangling thread in your life.”

He hesitated, expecting her to break in, but she remained silent, so he went on.

“So, maybe just one look, to see if, I don’t know, maybe something will jump out at us. Then, maybe, you and I… well, then maybe we can see where we are… where we both want this thing to go…”

Evan was pacing along a berm at the edge of the clearing where the latest body had been found. “I know the Bureau’s best has been on this, so I guess it sounds presumptuous for me to even suggest it-”

“I don’t think it’s presumptuous at all,” Annie said softly.

“You don’t?”

“No. You’re a great investigator. And there’s always the chance that a fresh eye might see something everyone else has missed. But are you sure you want to spend your time on this?”

“I’m sure that I want this to work between us. I’m sure that the only way that’s going to happen is for you to feel that you’ve done everything you can to do right by Dylan’s memory. The way I see it, as long as Dylan’s murderer is out there, you’re always going to be looking for him. Not that I blame you. I understand why it’s important. But it just seems to me that in order for you to move on with your life, you need to know that everything that could be done has been done.”