Martin Greenberg: The Future We Wish We Had

Introduction copyright © 2007 by Rebecca Lickiss

“A Rosé for Emily,” copyright © 2007 by Esther M. Friesner

“Waiting For Juliette,” copyright © 2007 by Sarah A. Hoyt

“Boys,” copyright © 2007 by Dave Freer

“Trainer of Whales,” copyright © 2007 by Brenda Cooper

“Good Old Days,” copyright © 2007 by Kevin J. Anderson

“Kicking and Screaming Her Way to the Altar,” copyright © 2007 by Alan L. Lickiss

“Alien Voices,” copyright © 2007 by P. R. Frost

“Inside Job,” copyright © 2007 by Loren L. Coleman

“A Small Skirmish in the Culture War,” copyright © 2007 by Mike Resnick and James Patrick Kelly

“Dark Wings,” copyright © 2007 by Lisanne Norman

“My Father, The Popsicle,” copyright © 2007 by Annie Reed

“Destiny,” copyright © 2007 by Julie Hyzy

“Cold Comfort,” copyright © 2007 by Dean Wesley Smith

“The Stink of Reality,” copyright © 2007 by Phyllis Irene Radford

“Yellow Submarine,” copyright © 2007 by Rebecca Moesta

“Good Genes,” copyright © 2007 by Kristine Kathryn Rusch

Rebecca Lickiss

Iremember watching the lunar missions on TV. Men landing and walking on the moon, collecting rocks and dirt, jumping around and having fun in their lunar buggy. It was exciting, thrilling, breathtaking, and inspiring. I remember one night looking up at the moon and thinking someone was up there, looking back at me. Probably they were busy elsewhere, or whatnot, but let’s go with it.

Then and there I promised myself that someday I would live on the moon. It didn’t seem such an impossible dream. All the science fiction that I read clearly implied that the future would hold wonders of technology that would revolutionize our lives, change the way we understood and interacted with each other, and help us to achieve the ideals of freedom and equality and prosperity that would make the world a better place. After all, why would anyone go to the trouble of getting to the moon, and then stop?

Sadly, but I’m sure not surprisingly, I don’t live on the moon, and there’s very little chance I ever will. Someone, somewhere along the line didn’t keep the implied promise of the future.

You know that future: the one where we all have some form of flying transportation, flying cars or jet-packs, and no one has to cook or do any of the boring housework that everyone hates. Everyone is smart; probably, we’re all scientists. Everything is all shiny chrome and sleekly aerodynamic.

Well, here we are in the future. Shiny chrome and sleek aerodynamics come and go as design fashions. We didn’t get our flying cars, but the entertainment possibilities today are staggering. We have music on demand, and we’re able to hear music seemingly minutes after it has been recorded. Also, there are some home theater systems that rival small theaters, without the overpriced snacks. Phones everywhere we go, which is becoming annoying.

It is interesting and exciting in its own way, but not exactly what I was expecting. Probably not what you were expecting either. Everyone had their own expectations-their own idea of what should and shouldn’t be. Which is why we get what we have.

Gathered here are sixteen stories of what this future we have now, and will have tomorrow, might have been. Could have been. Maybe still will be. Or maybe even one we’re glad is not.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did. I hope they make you as nostalgic for the future that could have been as they have made me.

“ ‘ Newfangled’?’ Marjorie Bedford echoed, as if repeating the outlandish word would somehow make it go away. She leaned her forearms on the massive mahogany desk that was hers by right of being Paradise Purchased Properties’ top saleswoman. Behind her, floor-to-ceiling windows framed a glittering panorama of New York City from a very expensive height. “Did I actually hear you call the Carème 6000 Mequizeen ‘newfangled’?”

“Would you like me to call it a ‘contraption’ while I’m at it?” Emily June Newcomb replied tartly. She tossed back her golden hair and added: “I’m willing to throw in a couple of complimentary ‘goldangs’ and maybe a ‘consarn it’ or two, if you insist, but ‘yeehaw’ costs extra.”

“I assure you, Ms. Newcomb, I didn’t mean to insult you,” Marjorie said hastily. “I was simply… charmed by your colorful choice of words.”

“Bullshit, ma’am,” Emily said without raising her voice. She didn’t have to: a woman with her celebrity-level good looks was always heard. “How’s that for colorful? I know what you really think of me and my family. I just wish that when you were showing us the house, I wasn’t the only one who noticed the way you kept giving Mama and Daddy those condescending little smirks every time they ooh ed and aah ed over all the fancy tricks that deathtrap could do. It was like you were at the zoo, thinking ‘What clever little monkeys. Why, they’re almost human!’ Instead of the fruit basket and bottle of swill you gave us as a moving-in gift, why didn’t you just buy us a welcome mat that said Hicks With Money ?”

Marjorie felt her cheeks heat with the intense blush of an amoral wife caught by hubby ’twixt the sheets with the pool boy. (Which indeed was how Marjorie’s last-marriage-but-one had ended.) Damn this girl, she thought. How dare she? How dare she be so bloody right, the sow?

“Ms. Newcomb, aren’t you being a trifle harsh?” Marjorie’s teeth gritted together only a little when she smiled. “ ‘Monkeys’? ‘Deathtrap’? And calling a bottle of Moët et Chandon ‘swill’? Tsk. I do apologize if you’ve misconstrued any of my words or actions. It was a privilege and a pleasure to deal with your parents.”

“I know,” Emily returned. “I saw the check Daddy handed over at the closing. We know a family or two back home who could live for a year on the commission you earned. And before your mind flashes into Beverly Hillbillies reruns, ‘back home’ for us was neither the backwoods nor the boondocks. Not all small Southern towns are drenched in hot-and-cold running possums.”

Marjorie’s fingers curled, her hands knotted. She wanted to squeeze Emily June’s slim, white neck like a toothpaste tube. “I thought you’d come to see me about the problems your family’s having with the Carème 6000, Ms. Newcomb,” she growled. “But if your sole purpose was to berate me for what you think is my attitude towards your family, congratulations on your fabulous ESP.”

Emily opened the Italian leather briefcase in her lap and yanked out a stack of papers. “You want me to cut to the chase? Here’s the scalpel.” She slapped the rustling pile onto Marjorie’s desk. “The house you sold to my parents is unsatisfactory and the Carème 6000 Mequizeen kitchen unit contained therein is a danger to life and limb. We want it removed and destroyed. We also want payment for acute psychological damage, loss of self-esteem, and being the victims of hate speech. The figure we want is here. ” She pointed to a long line of numerals on the top page. “That’s if Paradise Purchased and the Mequizeen Company settle now. If this goes to court, I promise that figure will swell up like… like a tick on a hound dog.” She showed her teeth, then very deliberately added: “Hoo-ee.”