Josephine Cox - Songbird

One last loving, lingering kiss, then with the tears burning her face, she collected her bag and walked away, leaving the bedroom door slightly open, so if he cried, Ellen was bound to hear.

Quickly and silently she went down the stairs and out the front door. She dared not look back, afraid she might change her mind.

Secure in the knowledge that she had done the right thing, she started running, slowly at first, then faster and faster until she thought her lungs would burst.

The streets were eerily empty, her footsteps echoing against the flagstones like the patter of frantic fingers on a drumskin.

She didn’t know which way to go; she followed no particular direction. There was no plan, but she had to keep running, away from the pain, and the child she had borne and whom she adored with every beat of her heart. And now the child was left behind, because of him .

Loathing flooded her soul. One day… One day, if there was any justice in Heaven, he would suffer. Like she was suffering now.

Emerging from Penny Street, she saw the National Express coach slow down at the traffic lights. Quickly now, she ran out and put up her arms for the driver to let her in.

Astonished, he waited. The lights changed once, and then went back to red, and as she climbed on he told her gruffly, “What the devil are you playing at? It’s lucky for you there was no one behind me.”

“Where are you headed?” Breathless, she clambered on, as the door closed behind her.

“Last stop Bedford.” The lights changed and he moved forward.

“Bedford? Where’s that?”

“What!” Making headway, he threw her an impatient glance. “You’re not telling me you’ve got on the wrong coach, are you?”

“No, no!” Maddy was quick to reassure him. “Only my friend has just moved to Bedford. I’m paying a surprise visit, and I’m not sure where exactly it is, or how far?”

He laughed. “You women,” he tutted. “Absolutely hopeless! You shouldn’t be let out on your own – so disorganized it’s a wonder you manage to get across the street without help.” He cast her another ironic glance. “Bedford is in Bedfordshire – didn’t your friend tell you that? It’s a good six-hour trip. So, before we get there, I suggest you look in your bag and make sure you have her proper address.”

“Oh, I have, and once I get there, I’ll have no trouble at all.”

As she struggled along to a seat, she heard him muttering, “No trouble at all, eh? I wouldn’t bet on it!”

There were four other passengers on the coach. “Do you have a ticket?” That was the dumpling woman in front.

Maddy shook her head. “I thought you paid on the coach.”

“Well, you can, and I expect the driver will take your fare when we make a stop. But it’s not regular, and it’s much easier if you get your ticket beforehand.” She bossily suggested Maddy should put her bag in the overhead locker. “There are several pick-ups on the way, and you won’t want folks stumbling over it, will you?”

“No, thank you.” Maddy dutifully slung it overhead onto the shelf.

“If you’d been on time at the coach station, the driver would have put it in the luggage compartment for you,” the woman fussed.

Maddy thanked her again, and a short time later when the dumpling fell asleep, she sorted out the money in her purse. As soon as I’ve found a place to stay, I must change my bank account, she thought. She needed to draw money out, but even more importantly, she had to erase all avenues by which she might be traced.

She thought about Ellen, and the shock she would get on waking, and her guilt was all-consuming. Yet, when she set it against having removed the threat from that cozy little house and everyone in it, the guilt seemed a worthwhile, albeit heavy price to pay.

Slumped in her seat, she buried her face in her hands and quietly sobbed. One man! One dark-minded man hell-bent on destruction had done this to her. And in all her life she had never known such despair.

When the other passengers fell asleep, she was made to evaluate her circumstances. She felt strange – isolated, and swamped by the enormity of what she had done. She did not recognize who she was any more. What was she doing? Where was she going? How could she have left her child back there?

She shook herself mentally. The truth was, she had made herself a decoy. And how could she regret that?

To her mind, this was the only way she could help keep her precious boy out of Drayton’s clutches. It was also the best way she might repay Ellen and Grandad Bob.

“Ellen.” She murmured the name with affection. “I pray you will understand.”

Having fallen asleep with Maddy on her mind, Ellen woke with a start. For a moment she felt disorientated, but then the nagging worries that had kept her awake till gone midnight came back to haunt her.

“It must have been Steve’s man,” she murmured to herself. “It was too much of a coincidence that he should suddenly bump into Maddy like that.”

Sliding out of bed, she made her way barefoot across the chilly lino. I didn’t pay enough attention to what she was saying, Ellen thought. No wonder she was worried out of her mind.

When her foot trod hard on the piece of paper, she quickly snatched it up and unfolded it, her heart turning over as she skimmed through what Maddy had written.

I have no idea where I’m going…

I know you will love him as I do

And I know you will care for him,

and keep him safe…

I will contact you as soon as I can.

I love you like the sister I never had.

Remember that always.

“Oh, my God!” Dropping the note, she ran to Maddy’s room and pushed the door wide open; the crumpled covers thrown aside and that awful sense of emptiness, told their own story. “Oh, dear Lord! Maddy… what have you done!”

She hurried to the cot, where the baby was snuffling, fast asleep, oblivious to the drama that was taking place around him.

Running onto the landing and then down the stairs two at a time, Ellen checked every room. She even ran out into the street, glancing up and down, praying that Maddy was out here. Yet even as she looked, she knew deep down that her friend had gone. Maybe forever. And who could blame her? “Keep her safe, lord,” she mumbled, “keep her safe!”

Maddy had written that note from the heart. She must have agonized for hours before she took such a hard decision. You tried to tell me, didn’t you? Ellen thought. But I fobbed you off, hoping I was right and you were wrong. I should have realized how afraid for us you were. I should have talked it through – made plans. I was a fool to think it was a chance encounter. Oh Maddy, I’m so sorry… so very sorry.

Shivering, she came back into the house and closed the front door. As she made her way slowly up the stairs, her grandfather called out, “Is that you, love?”

Swallowing hard, she tried to make her voice sound natural. “Yes, Grandad.”

“Is everything all right, lass?”

“Everything’s fine. I just went to the bathroom. Go back to sleep.”

“What time is it?”

“Time you stopped chattering, or you’ll be fit for nothing in the morning.”

“Good night then, lass.”

“Good night, Grandad.”

Going into her own room, she cautiously switched on the main light and leaned against the wall, where she read and reread Maddy’s every word.

Afterward she walked round the room, the note clutched in her fist, her mind quickening with all manner of possibilities. Should she take little Michael and go after her? But where would she look? And how would she take best care of the baby? There must be a way, she thought. There must be a way of finding out where Maddy had gone.