Clare O’Donohue - The Lover’s Knot

Bernie brought cookies, and Susanne had egg salad sandwiches. It was exactly what my grandmother would have done in their shoes-circle the wagons around whoever was in need, and provide whatever comfort could be provided. I wanted to cry at the kindness of it, but instead I ate a sandwich and three cookies.

For the next hour we all waited, with most of the quilt club talking about how annoyed Eleanor must be and how she would be furious to know that there were so many people waiting in the lobby. Marc, though, was silent. He couldn't have been that upset about Grandma. He was only her handyman. I thought about telling him he didn't have to wait, but when I looked toward him, I realized he wasn't waiting for news. He was slouched in his chair staring angrily at Natalie, Maggie, and Susanne, who sat across from him.

A nurse, who had ignored every question I'd asked when we first arrived, finally came over to me. "Your grandmother would like to see you."

"Don't tell her we're here," advised Bernie. "She'll have a fit."

My grandmother was in a nice private room, but she wasn't enjoying it. "Tell him I can go home," she ordered me.

A tall, thin doctor looked toward me with an exasperated smile. "I'd love nothing more, Mrs. Cassidy. But I'm keeping you here for a couple of days."

She had broken her leg near her ankle and done some damage to her kneecap, but her hip was merely bruised, and after six to eight weeks of recuperation she would be just fine. I was relieved. She was furious.

"I can't sit around doing nothing for six weeks. I have a business to run. Doesn't he understand that?"

"Grandma, the doctor didn't push you down the stairs, so stop being mad at him."

"Thank you." The doctor smiled, then caught an angry look from my grandmother and fled the room.

"I can't believe I was so stupid." She was straining to get comfortable, and frustrated by the large cast that made that impossible.

"How did it happen? I cleared the stairs."

"You did? I don't know. I think I may have missed a step." She was shaking her head in disbelief, as if she were discovering for the first time that she wasn't infallible.

"I'll call Mom and Uncle Henry and let them know…"

"Don't you dare. I'm fine."

"I'll let them know you're fine."

"Nell. I know you're trying to do the right thing, but I don't want everyone getting on a plane to see me hop around in a cast." Her voice was losing energy and she suddenly looked as if she needed me.

I had to smile. "Okay. I'm going to let you rest."

She touched my hand lightly and seemed unwilling to let it go. "I'm sorry, Nell. You didn't need this. And on top of it, you've been waiting out there alone all night."

"I haven't been alone." It was out before I remembered Bernie's advice and did my best to cover. "The nurses, the doctors, patients all over the place. It's more crowded than Manhattan."

She smiled weakly and let go of my hand. I hesitated, but it was time to go. She did need her rest.

In the hallway outside her room, everyone was waiting.

"She's fine. She's tired," I told them.

"Of course she's tired," said Maggie. "We all need some rest."

Maggie wrapped her arms around me and I found myself hugging her tightly. Then each woman hugged me, and hugged each other, until we made a sloppy, relieved mess of tangled huggers. Twenty-four hours ago these women were strangers to me, and now we were reassuring one another like old friends. We walked out together into the parking lot and stayed talking for another twenty minutes. Nancy would open the shop tomorrow. I'd spend the morning at the hospital and call Natalie to let her know how Eleanor was doing and when she'd be released. Natalie would initiate the phone chain they had in place for quilting emergencies. I didn't ask for the definition of a quilting emergency.

All I could think about was spending the night in that big house without my grandmother.

The ride back home with Marc was silent, and that was fine with me. When we got to the house I started to hop out with barely a good-bye, but Marc grabbed my hand.

"Are you going to be okay in there alone?" The friendly smile was back.

"I have Barney."

He laughed. "Yeah, great watchdog." He reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a business card. "Take my number and call me if you need anything."

I nodded and watched him drive away before I went inside.

Barney was waiting by the door, sitting at attention. When he saw me he wagged his tail, but his heart wasn't in it. He kept looking past me to the front door.

I went into the kitchen and put on the kettle. After a few minutes Barney came in, looked around, and walked over to me. His head was up, but his tail was hanging low between his legs.

"I know, love." I patted his head. "Believe me, she wants to come home just as much as you want her here."

I made some tea, cut myself a piece of cake, and sat at the table, then realized I was too tired to eat. I offered Barney a dog biscuit, but he just sniffed at it and lay at my feet.

My eyes were starting to close, and the effort to open them again seemed pointless. I left the tea half-finished, the cake untouched, and headed up to bed. The stairs creaked as I walked up, and the entire second floor was dark. There were no streetlights by my grandmother's house, so without a full moon, there was no light outside. And it was quiet. Not even crickets were doing whatever crickets do to make that noise.

Barney settled on the floor and I crawled in underneath the pin-wheel quilt that covered the bed. I reached my hand out, turned off the light on the bedside table, and lay back. I stared off into space for a while, waiting to go to sleep. Then… something. It sounded like someone at the front door. The sleepiness of just a minute before was gone. I sat up and listened. Quiet. I looked over at a sleeping Barney and was comforted for a moment that he hadn't been alarmed, until I remembered he couldn't have heard anything. I lay down again, but I made sure to face the bedroom door. Just in case. Minutes passed. I started to close my eyes when there was a definite noise, like a door flying open, but it seemed to be coming from the kitchen this time. I had locked the doors, hadn't I? I couldn't remember if I had locked up. Every muscle tensed and I froze.

I turned on the bedroom light. If someone was in the house, he'd know that he'd been heard. I threw a pillow at Barney, who raised a sleepy head in my direction.

"Get up," I whispered. "Go downstairs."

Barney got up and started wagging his tail. He lay his head on the bed next to me because he clearly believed that I had woken him up to pet him. You had to admire his optimism.

I got up slowly, shaking with each step, and walked to the door of the bedroom. I couldn't hear anything but wind and rain.

Now I really missed my cell phone. I could walk to my grandmother's bedroom, where I thought she had a phone, but if I called the police and it was nothing, then everyone in town would be telling the hilarious story tomorrow.

But I couldn't just stand there shaking all night. My grandmother wouldn't. I grabbed Barney's collar and we headed to the top of the stairs. If someone was going to kill me, he was going to kill me standing up. I wasn't going to be found cowering by my bed so everyone could say "poor thing, first she gets dumped and then she dies alone and scared." No, they were going to say "poor thing, first she gets dumped and then she dies stupidly fighting off an intruder."

Barney walked beside me as we slowly descended the stairs. He couldn't hear what I was listening for, but he knew I was scared, and that was enough for him to stick close. Together we made it into the downstairs hall, turning on every light I could find. My grandmother didn't have much in the way of weapons, so I grabbed an umbrella out of the stand and walked into the kitchen.