Claire LaZebnik - Knitting Under the Influence

“He sure is purty, though,” Kathleen said.

“Isn't he?” Lucy said. “Makes it hard for me to stay mad at him.”

“Why do we care?” Sari asked, her needles clicking emphatically against each other. “About looks, I mean? Wouldn't it be better if we didn't?”

“It's not a question of what's better” Kathleen said. “It's just the way it is. Some guys are more appealing to us than others, that's all.”

“Yeah. But remember that guy I went out with last year? Jeff Fleekstra?”

“Yeah, I remember him,” Kathleen said. “Yuck.”

“Hey,” Sari said.

“Sorry. But you know what I mean.”

“He was a good guy,” Sari said. “He was doing some really interesting autism research and-”

“He was gross,” Kathleen said.

“Don't be obnoxious,” Lucy said. She picked up her knitting.“Sari went out with the guy for months. You'll make her feel bad if you point out how incredibly revolting he was.”

“You're right,” Kathleen said. “I’ll try not to bring up the fact that Jeff was an unpleasant little troll.”

“Good,” Lucy said. “And, whatever you do, don't remind Sari about how he used to spit when he talked and food would come out of his mouth when he laughed.”

“I’d have called it more of a giggle than a laugh,” Kathleen said.

“Are you guys done?” Sari said. “May I continue?”

“I guess so,” Lucy said.

“I could go on longer,” Kathleen said.

“Well, don't,” Sari said. “Anyway, Jeff was a nice guy doing the kind of work I admire. And he treated me really well. But I couldn't get past his looks. Doesn't that make me shallow?”

“It makes you human,” Kathleen said. “Even you-awesome and saintly as you are-”

“You are, you are,” Lucy echoed.

“-even you want a guy who's hot enough to give you the shivers. Nothing wrong with that.”

“And besides,” Lucy said, “guys have been judging women on the basis of their looks forever.”

“Yeah, but just because men are superficial doesn't mean we have to be,” Sari said. “Can't we be more evolved than they are? I mean, there are more important things in life than looks.”

“There are equally important things,” Kathleen corrected her. “But if the attraction isn't there, forget it. Nothing else can make it work. Anyway,” she added, “Jeff was kind of gross.”

“I know,” Sari said with a sigh. “And that's why I broke up with him.”

“That's not being shallow,” Lucy said. “It matters. Sexual attraction matters.”

“But so do other things, right?” Sari said. “Like good values and intelligence?”

“And money,” Kathleen said.

“You're not helping my argument.”

“Sure, I am,” Kathleen said. “Every guy is a package. What matters is how it all adds up.” She raised her eyebrows twice.

“And how big the package is, if you know what I mean.”

Lucy threw a ball of yarn at her and that was the end of that conversation.

So… no Maria?” Sari said, looking around. The Smiths’ house was small, but lovely, on a quiet cul-de-sac in Brentwood. From the little she knew about real estate, she guessed it was worth at least a couple of million dollars, even though it was just your basic cozy Mediterranean.

“No Maria,” Jason said. “I fixed it-she's going to baby-sit Friday nights, instead of during the day. So the good news is I can now go out on Friday nights.”

“Is there bad news?”

“Yeah-I have no one to go out with.”

Sari decided to ignore that. “Did you talk to her about letting Zack cry?”

“Uh-” He looked down, shuffled his feet.

“You really are scared of her, aren't you?”

“I told you.”

“Seriously,” Sari said. “You've got to get her onboard with this, or it's going to hurt Zack's progress.”

“I know. I will.” He took a deep breath. “Sometimes it's all just so hard.”

Sari narrowed her eyes. What did he want from her? Sympathy?

Fortunately, Zack poked his head into the hallway at that moment.

“Hey,” Sari said. “I see you there, mister. We're going to have fun today.”

Zack immediately went running in the opposite direction.

“I’ll get him,” Jason said and took off.

He scooped Zack up and trotted back with Zack tucked sideways under one arm. “He's running for the goal,” Jason said, his free hand held out, running back style. “He's at the thirty-yard line, he's at the twenty, the ten, and he's almost there, and he- Touchdown! Woo-hoo! The crowd goes crazy! Victory dance for the good guys!” He lifted Zack up high in the air and then tossed him a couple more feet up before catching him again. Zack laughed out loud-he had a great laugh, bubbly and unforced and infectious-and as soon as Jason set him down, he tried to climb back up into his arms.

“Oh, so you want me to do it again, do you?” Jason said, picking him up and tossing him high. Zack came back down shrieking with laughter.

“Wow,” Sari said. “He really likes that.”

“Loves it,” Jason said, a little smugly, holding Zack against his chest. “Always has. It's a guaranteed Zack-pleaser.”

“Perfect,” Sari said. “Let's make him ask for it.”

“Ask for it?” Then he realized. “Oh, no. Do we have to?”

Sari shrugged her backpack off her shoulder and tossed it on the floor. “All he's got to say is ‘up.’ But you can't give in until he does. No matter how much he cries.”

He heaved a big theatrical sigh. “All right. You're the boss.”He put Zack on his feet then held out his arms. “You want to go up, Zack? Say ‘up!’”

Zack grabbed at his arms, and Jason raised them out of his reach. “No, pal. You have to say the word. Say ‘up.’” He looked at Sari. “Am I doing this right?”

Zack let out a scream of frustration.

“You're doing it right,” Sari said.

Getting him to say “up” the first time was tricky-the first time always was with a new word-but once Jason had prompted the word about twenty times, pantomiming the action, Zack did finally make an “uhh” sort of noise, and then Jason quickly grabbed him and tossed him. Five minutes after that, Zack was saying “up” with just a reminder or two, and about five minutes after that, he was saying it without one. And about five minutes after that, Jason said, “My back is breaking, Sari. I’ve got to take a break.”

“All right,” Sari said, “I think you've earned one.” Only then Zack said, “Up! Up!” so she said, “Just one more time? Please? He said it so perfectly that time.”

Jason moaned but tossed Zack up. Then he said, “No more.” He set Zack down on the floor and arched his back, digging his fingers into the muscle above his waist.

“Up, up!” Zack said and tugged on Jason's pants.

“I can't, buddy. Daddy's in too much pain.”

“Up? Up?”

“Good job, Zack,” Sari said, squatting down in front of him.

“But there's no more where that came from right now. We'll do more up tomorrow.”

“Up, up!” he said, trying to climb Jason's leg.

“No more up,” Sari said.

“More up?” he said.

Sari lost her balance and had to grab at the wall to steady herself. “What did you just say, Zack?”

“More up? More up?”

“My God,” Sari said. “That's a sentence. You just made a sentence, Zack. He just made a sentence,” she said to Jason.

“Well, not really a sentence,” he said. “I mean, technically-”

“Okay, fine, it's a phrase, not a sentence. But he put two words together. On his own. That's huge. That's bigger than huge. I’ve never had a kid do that on his own before.” Sari hugged Zack. “You're incredible. Did you know that you're incredible? Because you're incredible.”