Karina Bliss - What the Librarian Did

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Is Rachel Robinson the only one on campus who doesn't know who Devin Freedman is? No big deal except that the bad-boy rock star gets a kick out of Rachel's refusal to worship at his feet. And that seems to have provoked his undivided attention. Devin, the guy who gave new meaning to the phrase "sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll." Devin, the guy who somehow becomes wedged between her and the past she's kept hidden for years.
It's up to this librarian to find out firsthand just how "bad" he really is. Because her secret – and her growing feelings for a man who claims he's bent on redemption – depend on his turning out to be as good as he seems. Which is really, really good.

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“Fine,” he conceded. “But I’m driving.” He held his hand out for her keys, but her fingers tightened around them.

“I’ll drive… I don’t drink.”

“Neither do I.” When she looked skeptical, he added, “Anymore.”

An indefinable tension went out of her. She gave him the keys. “You don’t know how glad I am to hear that.”

“It figures you’d be an advocate of prohibition,” he commented as he opened the passenger door.

“I’ve noticed before that you typecast librarians,” she said kindly. “But as your experience of learning institutions is obviously quite new I’ll make allowances.”

Devin started to enjoy himself. “Now who’s stereotyping? Besides, if you don’t want to be seen as old-fashioned, you shouldn’t dress like that.”

He shut the door on her protest and crossed to the driver’s side. “I’ll have you know this is vintage,” she said as soon as he opened his door.

Devin folded himself into the ridiculously small interior. “I know what it is, I just don’t like it.”

“Is this how you usually talk to your dates?” she demanded.

“Actually,” he said, deadpan, “we don’t usually talk.”

Her lips tightened; she reached for her seat belt and Devin gave up on any expectation of fun. He turned the ignition and the engine spluttered into life. It sounded like a lawnmower on steroids. “I thought we’d drive into the city,” he said, “and wander around the Viaduct until a menu grabs us.”

“It’s Thursday night. We won’t get a table unless you’ve made a reservation. And if you’ll excuse my saying so, you won’t get in wearing torn jeans.”

Expertly maneuvering the toy car out of its tight parking space, Devin snorted. “Watch me.”

“IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE famous, I suppose.”

Rachel’s luscious mouth was set in a disapproving line. “You make that sound like a bad thing,” he joked. Mentally, he confirmed his game plan. Dine and dump.

They sat in a private alcove in one of Auckland’s most exclusive restaurants. Through the open bifold windows, city lights reflected in the harbor and the incoming tide lapped gently against the moored yachts.

Rachel unfolded the starched napkin and laid it on her lap. “I wouldn’t like to think anyone else missed out on their booking because of us, that’s all.”

Loosen up, will you? “Bread?” He passed the basket over. She took a whole wheat roll and declined the butter. “Why are you really here, Rachel?” She obviously wasn’t enjoying this any more than he was.

She looked guilty and he was struck with a sudden suspicion. “Did the chancellor want you to hit me up for another donation?”

“Of course not.” Her shock appeared genuine and he envied it. It must be nice not to suspect people’s motives in being with you.

“So you’re just punishing me then…for giving you a hard time?”

Her lashes fell, screening her eyes. “Sure.”

Maybe he should have chosen his words better. “I didn’t mean to imply spending time with you was a punishment,” he clarified. “Just that you’re not my type.” Oh, yeah, that made it better. “I mean-”

“Devin.” She lifted her gaze. “I’m not offended. You’re not my type, either.”

Perversely, he was piqued. “Not a nerd, you mean?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Not housebroken.”

He chuckled. “Okay, I deserved that. Let’s try and be nice to each other.”

There was an awkward silence, then Rachel cleared her throat. “I understand your band produced a fusion of post punk and metal-” she paused, obviously trying to remember research “-which evolved into the grunge and later indie genres.”

“And here I thought it was about playing guitar and scoring chicks.” Devin dipped sourdough into herb-flavored oil. “Rachel, how the hell did you miss out on rock music?”

“I had…ill health in my teens, which forced me to drop out of school.” With tapered fingers she pulled the roll into smaller and smaller pieces. “Then spent all my twenties working days and studying nights to get my library degree.”

Devin was attuned to picking up wrong notes; her story was full of them. He shrugged. “Don’t tell me then.”

She glanced up. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to lie, just tell me to mind my own damn business.”

“You know, Devin, civility has a social purpose. It stops people from killing each other.”

He grinned. “I like to live dangerously.”

“That’s fine,” she said seriously, “as long as you don’t hurt bystanders.”

All alcoholics left casualties in their wake. Devin had to work to keep his tone flippant as he replied, “You say don’t a lot, you know that? You’ll make a great mother.”

She said nothing. Glancing over, he saw a bleakness in her expression that shocked him. He knew that level of despair intimately. Instinctively, he laid a hand over hers. “What did I say?”

“Nothing.” Sliding her hand free, Rachel gave him a small smile. “I’d have thought it would be easier studying business at an American university, considering most of your tax is paid there.”

He picked up his glass and took a sip of water before answering. “My royalties come in from a dozen countries and I’ve got more money in tax havens than I have in the States.”

“Don’t tell me then,” she said.

He laughed. “Touché. You’re right, I don’t want to talk about it.”

When she dropped her guard-for about one millisecond-her smile was breathtaking. “Were you aware you have over four million Internet pages devoted to you?”

Devin leaned back in his chair. “If you’ve done your research there’s no point trying to impress you.”

“You could tell me your bio was grossly exaggerated,” she said lightly.

He could have played that card. It surprised him that momentarily he wanted to. “It’s not.”

If there were excuses, he wouldn’t make them. At sixteen he’d jumped on a roller coaster that had given him one hell of a ride for seventeen years. And if the gatekeeper had said, “Son, you’ll be famous, songs you help write will be an anthem for your generation, but it will cost you. You’ll all but destroy your body and soul, you’ll lose your identity, and when it’s over you’ll lie awake at night wondering if you’ll ever get it back,” Devin would still have bought a ticket.

They finished their bread in silence.

RACHEL DIDN’T KNOW WHAT to think. The idea of Mark hanging around someone who could so coolly acknowledge such an appalling past made the hairs on the back of her neck rise.

But she wanted to be impartial-or at least as impartial as she could be with her son’s welfare at stake. Heck, who was she kidding? She was a wreck over this. Fine, then. She’d factor in her emotional bias when weighing the evidence. Because it was important to her to be fair. God knows she’d had enough people judging her as a teenager not to jump to conclusions about someone else.

And while Devin was arrogant beyond belief, brutally honest to the point of rudeness and far too confident in his own sex appeal-flashing a charmer’s grin to the waitress delivering their meals-he also had an appealing self-awareness.

He took another sip from his water glass and Rachel wondered if she was being lenient simply because he’d given up alcohol. Having been raised by a drinker, she found it was a very, very big deal to her. Surely that meant some sort of rehabilitation had taken place?

But did it extend to drugs…groupies? She didn’t want Mark to be exposed to those, either, or any of the character traits she associated with rock stars-excess, selfishness, immaturity. She needed more information.

As she picked up her knife and fork, she asked casually, “Why study here…New Zealand, I mean?”

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