Perri O'Shaughnessy - Unfit to Practice

“People ought to restrain themselves, under the circumstances. Maybe you could have talked to me. We were still new together, only two years into it. Maybe our marriage was salvageable at that point, if you hadn’t-”

“You cheated. You lied. You blamed me for everything that went wrong-”

“Nina,” he said softly, “did you ever love me? Did you ever really love me?”

The question brought her up short. She couldn’t think of an answer. She had married Jack for a million reasons: his sense of humor, his passion for his work, his devotion to her and Bob. They had such fun fantasizing a life together in San Francisco.

Bob needed a father.

She needed someone.

“Yes, I loved you. But you made me so lonely.”

“I was lonely, too,” he said. “What a shame neither one of us had the guts to deal with the problem without all that drama.”

Emotion swept over her. “Worse than that. It was melodrama.”

“We both screwed up,” he said.

Admitting her role in the breakup was hard. The time had come to make peace. Maybe she knew from the first time she set eyes on Jack again they would arrive at this moment, the chance to nail down the coffin lid on their marriage. “Yes,” she said finally, “we both screwed up.”

“I regretted it right away, you know. I married her, and I knew it was a mistake from day one. I wish you and I had tried harder.”

Did she regret the end of her two years of marriage to Jack? The answer came quickly. Not anymore. If she had stayed with Jack, she would never have married a man she had loved with all her heart. After his death, she would never have found her way back to Paul.

“While we were drinking margaritas at Big Sur,” Jack continued, “I had a fantasy that you and I might fall into each other’s arms again.”

“Then you saw me and thought again,” she teased, ready to lighten up.

“I saw you and I saw him. I saw the whole damn thing.”

“Jack, I’m sorry about the way it ended.”

“Me, too, Nina-Pinta. Me, too.”

Papers shuffled over the phone on his end as she closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

“So,” he said, in one of those rapid turnarounds that made him so successful in his work, “moving on.”

“Oh, sure. Of course. We have work to do.”

“What were we talking about?” he asked thoughtfully. “Oh, yes. Your abilities as an attorney. To go on, I’m sorry you’re running into the usual snags, and I know you won’t let it get you down. ’Cause you’re one of the good ones, Nina. Destined to debate. Well-intentioned. The old-fashioned, go-for-real-justice kind of person our profession needs. Unlike me.”

Not quite as fast to recover from their earlier exchange, she said shakily, “Oh, you’re not so bad.”

“I am. I am proud to be bad. Luck or talent, I don’t care what helps me win, as long as I do. And I’m not afraid to get dirty just for the sake of winning. It’s detestable, but it’s me.”

Suddenly the compliment looked less complimentary, as if Nina had a weak, feminine side that prevented her from dirtying her skirts.

“That’s why people are smart enough to hire me and I’m up to my neck in lucrative trouble,” Jack went on arrogantly. “P.S., did you know Paul considered law as a profession?”

“What? No.”

“Yes, indeed. We took the LSAT at the same time, but he blew it. Hates tests, our Paul. Won’t be judged by people he doesn’t admire, and those he admires are few and far between. So, keep that in mind when he begs you to join him in Carmel to live a life of leisure as his concubine. He flirted with the law and it slapped him down. Don’t let him sabotage you. You’re too good to fritter yourself away like that.”

“You are so out of line.”

“I love the guy. He’s my best friend. He has many fine qualities. His relationship with the world isn’t one of them. He’s brilliant sometimes at his job, but partly that’s because he never follows any rules but his own. He made a lousy cop because of it, and I don’t trust him as a P.I. because of it.”

“Shut up, Jack. I don’t want to hear this.”

“Be wary and be smart if you insist on hanging with him. That’s all.”

“Do me a favor. Stick with the legal advice. I don’t need you for personal advice.”

“Okay. All right. Live with him and be his love, but call me if things don’t work out, deal?”

“Enough!”

“Sure. Back to business. All right? Put all that aside for now?”

“Back to business.”

“Give the Vangs their money. Potential exposure is that Mr. Vang will be so pissed off that his wife got half that he’ll file a complaint with the bar that you withheld the money by a couple of days. He won’t look good and you will. I say you have no problem there.”

“I’ll send it on Monday.”

“Don’t wait. Do it right away,” he said. “As your attorney, I advise you to get this one out of your hair immediately.”

She opened her side drawer, looked at the checks, shut it, and opened it again. “Okay, Jack,” she said, angry. She should never have mentioned that she was waiting to courier the checks. That had been an unconscious slip, a desire to get his stamp of approval. Predictably, he had picked up on her delaying strategy. He knew her too well. He didn’t want to know why she wanted to put it off, he didn’t want justifications, he just wanted a clean slate. Was this what it meant, having an attorney? Taking unwelcome advice? Doing things that made you queasy?

Yes. She put the checks on her desk. She would get them on the road before she left today, like an intelligent client following the expert advice of her attorney over her own instincts.

“The sisters. Brandy and Angel,” Jack said. “There’s more exposure. This suspect, what’s his name, Stinson, assaulted the girls on the beach. An argument can be made that Cody heard from the possessor of the files that the girls saw things. But who knows why Cody got on ’em? Maybe some other camper told him something. I can’t see a complaint from them going anywhere.”

“I know the timing makes it look that way. But let’s just stop right here. Listen, Jack. I want you to tell me what you really think. Did the theft of my files cause these innocent people to be threatened?”

Jack gave his answer some thought. No lawyer likes to tell what he really thinks. “Frankly, I don’t believe it. I think old Cody found out some other way, from a fellow camper, maybe. I think Kevin Cruz’s wife found out about Cruz’s girlfriend on her own, too. And I see no evidence any outsider has made any mischief in the Vang case.”

“You’re not just trying to make me feel better?”

“I think you can rest easy. I don’t mean that. Don’t rest easy. Be vigilant. Take care of business. But I don’t believe you’re being set up. Which doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stay in close touch with me. Every lawyer in California ought to be in close touch with me. You’re all gonna get complaints sooner or later.”

“But not this time.”

“It’ll fade. You lost some files. You had to run around. There was worry, but nothing is gonna develop. You know what Mark Twain said. ‘I’ve been through some awful worries, and some of them actually happened.’ ”

His tone comforted her. He always could comfort her. She had always relied on his strength, his assuredness. “Thanks,” she said. “It’s a relief to hear you say that.” She wanted to believe him.

“Only the Cruz case is still a concern. We’ll stay on it. We should get together and have dinner alone sometime, Nina.”

“What for?”

“What for? You have to ask? We’re old friends back in touch, aren’t we?”

“Ex-spouses back in touch,” Nina said. “There’s a world of difference.”