Kate Hoffmann - The Drifter

“What do you want?”

Matt looked up at her and pasted a weak smile on his face. “Hello, Eve.”

She pointed a finger at him. “I’m not going to discuss the divorce settlement with you. Talk to my lawyer.”

“That’s not what this is about.” He pointed to the stool next to his. “Sit. I just have to say a few things and then, if you like, I’ll get out of your life for good.”

He seemed so defeated, his usual arrogance completely drained. Curious, Eve sat down, leaving a single barstool as a buffer between them. “Go ahead.”

“I want you to know that I love you, Eve.”

Eve jumped up. “What is this? Is there something in the water? Suddenly, everyone loves me. I’ve been hearing it all day long. Just a few weeks ago, I was wondering if I’d ever be with anyone ever again. Now men are falling at my feet.”

“Men?”

“Yes,” Eve said sarcastically. “Men. Hundreds of them.”

“I guess I can see why,” Matt murmured. “They can see what I was too stupid to notice. What a great woman you are.”

“Oh, please. Just tell me how much money you want and get it over with. I have a bottle of wine to drink and a cheesecake to eat.”

“I-I didn’t come here for money.”

“That’s not what you were saying the last time we talked. You were ready to renegotiate the divorce settlement.”

“I just came to see-I mean, I was hoping you’d-I wanted to let you know that if there was any chance for us, you know, to fix the past-to get back together and try again-then I’d like to do that.”

Eve couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “No, there’s no chance of that. Why would you even ask?”

“I just wanted to make sure,” Matt said. “Cause I’m-I guess I’m getting married again.”

“All right,” Eve said, standing up and pressing her palms on the bar. “This is just too weird. You need to leave.”

“No, it’s true,” Matt said. “This girl I’ve been dating just told me she’s pregnant. And the baby is mine. When she told me, I kind of freaked out. I mean, it’s a lot to take in. And the expense is…” His voice trailed off. “Now that it’s really over with us, I guess I’m going to marry her instead.”

“So she’s getting you by default?” Eve slowly sat back down. “Matt, listen to me. Listen very carefully. If you don’t love her, then don’t pretend you do. Don’t make her believe something that isn’t true. Work hard and give her money to help raise your child, be a good father, but don’t make her think you’ll ever love her if you won’t.”

“You don’t think I could love her?”

“Men don’t change. She might not know about all the things that messed up our marriage and maybe that won’t make a difference, but-”

“Actually, she does,” Matt said. “I kind of dated her while we were married. And then, a few months ago, we hooked up again and one thing led to another and here I am. About to become a dad.” His hand shook as he picked up his beer glass. He took a long swallow. “I don’t know what to do. I think I really screwed up this time.”

“You really want my advice?” Eve asked.

“I do,” he replied.

“Be a man,” she said softly. Even after all this time and all that had passed between them, she felt a bit sorry for Matt. She felt a whole lot worse for the woman who was carrying his child and for the child itself, who’d grow up with a jerk for a father. Still, there was no reason to make him feel worse than he already did. “You can change. You can be the best father ever.”

“No,” he murmured.

She reached out and covered his hand with hers. “You can. It’ll be hard work and sometimes you’ll want to walk away. But you’re going to be a father and raising this child is going to be the most important thing you ever do in your life. You need to do it right.”

He smiled wanly. “My dad was never around. And when he was, he and my mom were always fighting. I used to tell myself I’d do a much better job once I became a father.”

“Then prove it,” Eve said.

“You really think I can change?” he asked, his expression filled with disbelief.

“Absolutely,” Eve said. Though it might have been the biggest lie she ever told in her life, Eve knew she’d done the right thing.

Her words seemed to give him courage. He drained the rest of his glass, then stood up. “I can. I’m going to go talk to her right now. Get this all figured out. And when that baby comes, I’m going to be a good dad.”

She watched him walk out the front door. He turned and waved at her and Eve sent him an encouraging smile. When he was gone, she walked to the end of the bar and pulled a bottle of the reserve Cabernet from the tall wooden wine rack.

She quickly opened it and poured a glass, then sat down at the bar and took a sip. Eve couldn’t help but wonder why she’d encouraged Matt. Did she really believe a man could change?

Throughout her parents’ marriage, her father had never changed. Eve wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted to. He enjoyed his life exactly the way it was, with all the petty dramas and imagined passions. Her mother had chosen to put up with it-and still did for all Eve knew.

But when those same problems had haunted her own marriage, Eve had stood up and taken a stand. It wasn’t out of courage that she’d walked away from her first marriage. It was out of fear. Fear that she’d become her mother-a woman who was willing to put her own emotions aside just to keep her marriage intact.

Maybe that’s why Eve worked so hard at her career. She’d never have to depend upon a man to take care of her, to be the center of her life. If she was going to love a man, and trust him with her whole soul, he had to be someone who could tolerate her independent streak.

Was Charlie that man? “Probably,” Eve murmured. He liked her exactly the way she was.

In the short time they’d been together again, Eve had been forced to admit that he was different from the man she’d known five years ago. And she was a different woman. But was she willing to risk her heart one more time? Did she have the strength to stick with it, to weather the bad times without bailing yet again?

Maybe she could have made her marriage to Matt work. She hadn’t really tried to save it once she found out about his cheating. They might have been happy, had he agreed to give up the other women. But Eve doubted they ever would have found the kind of passion she shared with Charlie. It just hadn’t been there with Matt.

It just wasn’t in her nature to trust easily. She wanted to love Charlie, or at least believe that love was possible. And yet, she knew the more time she invested in him, the harder it would be to let him go. She already felt something deeper for him than she’d ever felt for another man. And they’d been together two weeks.

“Are you all right?”

The sound of Lily’s voice startled her and Eve turned as her friend sat down beside her. “Yes,” she murmured, forcing a smile. “I’m fine.”

“What did he want?”

“He wanted to tell me he’s going to be a father,” Eve said.

“Matt?”

“Yes,” Eve said. She sighed softly. “And I wished him well.” Pushing away from the bar, Eve stood. “I have to go. Can you close up for me?”

“Sure. Listen, why don’t we just leave everything for tomorrow morning? We’ll go get a drink somewhere. Have some fun.”

“I have something to do,” Eve said. “Maybe another time.” She slipped out of her chef’s coat and draped it over the back of a stool, then gave Lily a clumsy hug.

“What is it?” Lily asked, staring at Eve’s somber expression.

“I think I might be in love.” Eve drew a ragged breath. “Or maybe I am in love. I’m not sure. But I have to figure out what to do about it.” She grabbed the open bottle of wine and walked out the front door.