Jodi Picoult - House Rules

Like running into a hadrosaur on your way to the bathroom at 3:00 A.M.

Theo spent two weeks freaking out in the middle of the night when he heard the hiss from heating registers in his room. My mother tried everything-from warm milk before bedtime to an illustrated diagram of the heating system of the house to an unnecessary dose of children’s Benadryl at night to knock Theo out-but like clockwork, he’d start screaming in the middle of the night and would run out of his room and wake both of us.

It was getting old, frankly, which is why I did what I did.

After my mother tucked me in, I stayed up with a flashlight hidden under my pillow and read until I knew she had gone to bed, too. Then I took my pillow and blankets and sleeping bag and camped outside Theo’s bedroom door. That night, when he woke up screaming and tried to run to my mother’s room to wake her up, too, he tripped over me.

He blinked for a second, trying to figure out if he was dreaming. “Go back to bed,” I said. “There’s no stupid dinosaur.”

I could tell he didn’t believe me, so I added, “And if there is, he’ll kill me first before he gets to you.”

This actually worked. Theo crawled back into bed, and we both fell asleep again. My mother was the one who found me sprawled on the floor the next morning.

She panicked. Assuming I’d had some kind of seizure, she started shaking me. “Stop, Mom,” I finally said. “I’m fine!”

“What are you doing out here?”

“I was sleeping…”

“In the hallway?”

“Not the hallway,” I corrected. “In front of Theo’s room.”

“Oh, Jacob. You were trying to make him feel safe, weren’t you?” She threw her arms around me and held me so tight I thought I just might have a seizure after all. “I knew it,” she babbled. “I knew it! All those books; all those idiot doctors who said kids with Asperger’s have no theory of mind and can’t empathize… You do love your brother. You wanted to protect him.”

I let her embrace me, because it seemed to be what she wanted to do. Behind Theo’s door, I could hear him starting to stir.

What my mother had said was not technically inaccurate. What those doctors and books all say about how Aspies like me cannot feel anything on behalf of others-that’s total bullshit. We understand when someone else is in pain; it just affects us differently than it affects other humans. I see it as the next step of evolution: I cannot take away your sadness, so why should I acknowledge it?

In addition, I hadn’t slept in front of Theo’s door because I wanted to protect him. I’d slept in front of his door because I was exhausted after a week of midnight crying, and I only wanted to get a good night’s rest. I was looking out for my own best interests.

You could say, actually, that this was the impetus behind what happened with Jess, too.

Emma wants to call US Airways and make them stop the plane from departing, but the entire system is automated. When we finally do reach a human employee, he’s in Charlotte, North Carolina, and has no way of contacting the Burlington gate. “Here’s the thing,” I tell her. “You can beat him there by flying direct to San Francisco. It’s almost the same distance to Palo Alto from the San Jose airport.” She looks over my shoulder at the computer screen, which has the flight I’ve found. “With the layover in Chicago that Theo’s going to make, you’ll still get in an hour before he does.”

She leans forward, and I can smell the shampoo in her hair. Her eyes flicker over the flight information, hopeful-and then land on the bottom, and the price. “$1,080? That’s ridiculous!”

“Same-day fares aren’t cheap.”

“Well, that’s not in my budget,” Emma says.

I click on the button to purchase the ticket. “It’s in mine,” I lie.

“What are you doing ! You can’t pay for that-”

“Too late.” I shrug. The truth is, financially, I’m a little shaky now. I have one client, and she can’t afford to pay me, and worse, I’m okay with that. Surely I missed the Bloodsucking Your Client class in law school, since all evidence points to me being the poster boy for Financially Ruined Defense Attorneys. But at the same time, I’m thinking that I can sell my saddle-I have a beautiful English one that’s in storage below the pizza place. No use having it when I don’t have a horse anyway.

“I’ll add it to the bill,” I say, but we both know I probably won’t.

Emma closes her eyes for a moment. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Then just be quiet.”

“You shouldn’t have to get involved in this mess.”

“Lucky for you the only other thing I had to do today was organize my sock drawer,” I joke, but she’s not laughing.

“I’m sorry,” Emma replies. “It’s just… I don’t have anyone else.”

Very slowly, very deliberately, so that she will not startle or pull away, I thread my fingers through hers and squeeze her hand. “You have me,” I say.

If I were a better man, I wouldn’t have eavesdropped on Emma’s conversation with her ex-husband. Henry, she said. It’s Emma.

No, actually, I can’t really call back later. It’s about Theo.

He’s fine. I mean, I think he’s fine. He’s run away from home.

Well, of course I know that. He’s on his way to your place.

Yes, California. Unless you’ve moved lately.

No, I’m sorry. That wasn’t an insult…

I don’t know why. He just took off.

He used my credit card. Look, can we just talk about this when I get there?

Oh. Did I forget to mention that?

If all goes well, I’ll land before Theo.

Meeting us at the airport would be great. We’re both on US Airways.

Then there is a hesitation.

Jacob? she replies. No, he won’t be joining me.

It is decided that I will camp out for the night to be the over-twenty-five-year-old adult watching Jacob while Emma hauls Theo’s ass back across the country. At first, after she leaves, it seems like a piece of cake-we can play the Wii. We can watch TV. And, thank God, it’s Brown Thursday, which is relatively easy: I can cook Jacob a burger for dinner. It isn’t until an hour after she leaves that I remember my hearing tomorrow-the one I had not yet told Emma about, the one I will have to take Jacob to by myself.

“Jacob,” I say, while he is engrossed in a television show about how Milky Way bars are made. “I have to talk to you for a second.”

He doesn’t respond. His eyes don’t even flicker from the screen, so I step in front of it and turn it off.

“I just want to have a little chat.” When Jacob doesn’t answer, I keep speaking. “Your trial starts in a month, you know.”

“A month and six days.”

“Right. Well, I’ve been thinking about how… hard it might be for you to be in court all day long, and I figured we need to do something about it.”

“Oh,” Jacob says, shaking his head. “I can’t be in court all day. I have schoolwork to do. And I have to be home by four-thirty so that I can watch CrimeBusters. ”

“I don’t think you get it. It’s not your call. You go to court when the judge says you go to court, and you get to come home when he’s ready to let you go.”

Jacob chews on this information. “That’s not going to work for me.”

“Which is why you and I are going back to court tomorrow.”

“But my mother’s not here.”

“I know that, Jacob. I didn’t plan for her to be away. But the fact of the matter is, the whole reason we’re going is something you said to me.”