Susan Pfeffer - The Dead And The Gone

"Tell you what," Harvey said. "You come by tomorrow morning. Either I'll have the sled or I won't, but I'll know by then. You got anything else for me today?"

Alex looked at the cans of spinach on the shelf behind the counter.

"I don't suppose I could have some spinach on account," he said.

"On accounta what?" Harvey asked, then burst out laughing. "Sorry, kid. Cash and carry. No more handouts just because I like someone."

Alex nodded. "Just thought I'd ask," he said.

"Never hurts to ask," Harvey said. "See you in the morning. Maybe I'll have that sled for you. And who knows. Maybe I'll threw in a can of that spinach while I'm at it."

Thursday, December 8

Harvey had outdone himself, Alex thought as he carried the sled into his old basement apartment. The sled was close to perfect. It was large enough for Bri to sit on comfortably and it had footrests so she could shift her weight around during the long trip to Port Authority. It was heavy plastic, with runners high enough that he wouldn't have to worry about Bri getting wet from the snow. Its only drawback was its single pull rope, which meant he'd have to do the dragging by himself. But he and Julie probably wouldn't have been able to pull in unison anyway.

It felt strange unlocking the door to the basement apartment. Alex hadn't been there since the move to 12B, but it made no sense to carry the sled upstairs when they'd be using it in just a few days. There'd been no electricity, not even on weekdays, since the snowstorm. Alex couldn't wait to get out.

Everything smelled damp and musty. It was hard to believe they'd all lived there and never noticed that. We were mole people, he thought. In a few days, though, they'd be the elite.

He went to Mami's bedroom and pulled down the boxes from her closet shelf. It was hard to see anything, since so little natural light came in and he hadn't thought to bring a flashlight or candles with him. But eventually he found their birth certificates and baptismal certificates.

Alex looked through the rest of the apartment, in case there was anything there they needed to take with them. On the kitchen counter by the phone was the note he'd left saying they'd moved to 12B. He wasn't sure what to do about it. There seemed to be no point in writing a new note, since he didn't know where they'd be going.

Once Bri and Julie were settled and safe, he'd somehow locate Carlos and tell him where the girls were. Mami or Papi could find him also, if they ever came back. In case anyone showed up before Monday, Alex left the note. He gave his home one more look. He still remembered moving there when he was five. He'd gone outside to play with some kids and he'd said something in Spanish. The kids had all laughed at him and he'd run back to Mami, crying.

"Here you speak English," she said to him. "No more Spanish."

That had been easy enough; he'd grown up hearing both. But he never tried to play with the neighborhood kids after that. Carlos had, no problem. But Alex always felt the kids looked down on him. They were all Danny O'Briens.

But in five days he'd become a Danny O'Brien. It was like something out of a Dickens novel, he thought. Foundling discovers he's really a long-lost millionaire. Of course he wasn't a foundling or a millionaire, but it was the same basic concept. And he'd earned this trip up the social ladder through his hard work at Vincent de Paul. Mr. Flynn wouldn't have given the passes to just anybody. It wasn't an act of charity. It was an act of respect.

Papi would be proud of me, he thought. I've taken care of my sisters. I've been a man.

Friday, December 9

He'd woken Julie and made her go on the food line with him. He wished he didn't have to, but there was no food in the house and if they were going to make it through the weekend, they needed every can they could get.

The line seemed safe enough, though; there were so few people on it. Alex made sure Julie stood by his side for the couple of hours they waited. He guessed the temperature had fallen below zero. Hell won't be hot, he thought. It'll be cold like this.

"Where's Kevin?" Julie finally asked.

He knew she would ask, but that didn't make it easier. "He's dead," he replied.

"Are you sure?" Julie asked. "Maybe he's just gone."

"I was there," Alex said. "He's dead all right."

"Oh," Julie said. "Three of the sisters died, too. Well, Sister Joanne was just a postulant."

"How'd they die?" Alex asked, not wanting to talk about Kevin.

Julie shrugged. "They got sick," she said. "Sister Rita didn't tell us of what or anything. She was crying, only she was pretending not to. But we could all tell. Not that there are that many of us left. Maybe some of the girls have died, too."

"They've probably just moved on," Alex said. "Most people have."

"I don't want to die," Julie said. "Sister Rita said Sister Dolores and Sister Claire and Sister Joanne are in heaven with the Holy Virgin, but I'd still rather be alive."

"Me too," Alex said.

They stood silently for a while. Then Julie took his hand.

"I'm sorry Kevin died," she said. "He was a good friend."

"Yes," Alex said. "He was."

Sunday, December 11

"Julie, I need you to go to eleven F," Alex said after lunch. "I want you to see if there's anything left we can use."

"Why do I have to go?" Julie said. "There's nothing there."

"You have to go because I told you to," Alex said. "Julie, just do it. Don't give me a hard time."

"What if there's someone in the stairwell?" she asked.

"There isn't," Alex said. "No one's left here but us. Please. It's just one floor. You'll be fine."

Julie grabbed the flashlight. "You'd better hope no one's there," she said. "God'll never forgive you if there is."

"I'll take my chances," Alex said. "Now go." He watched as Julie left the apartment. When he heard her walk down the hallway, he went into the bedroom. Bri was huddled in the sleeping bag, but even though she had on two coats and several blankets, she was still shaking from cold. Just one more day, Alex told himself. In one more day they'd be on their way to safety.

Bri looked up at him and smiled. "I thought Julie would come in to get my plate," she said. "Are you doing the housework now?"

Alex grinned. "Not a chance," he said. "No, I need to talk to you, Bri. Alone. I sent Julie off on an errand so we can talk."

Bri struggled to sit up. The exertion made her cough. She grabbed her inhaler and took a deep breath.

One more day, Alex thought. He sat on the bed next to his sister. "Bri, I'm going to tell you something and I don't want you to get upset," he began. "I'm going to ask you to make a big sacrifice for Julie."

"I'd do anything for Julie," Bri said. "You know that."

Alex nodded. He was counting on it. "Bri, it isn't safe for Julie in New York anymore," he said. "I'm not talking about the cold or being hungry. I mean safe for a girl."

Bri's eyes opened wide. "Nothing's happened, has it?" she asked.

"Nothing's happened," Alex said. "But Papi taught me the most important thing a man can do is to protect the women he loves. I have to protect you and Julie, and I've been trying the best I can up until now. But conditions are getting worse, so I've made arrangements for all of us. We're leaving New York tomorrow. Remember Chris Flynn? His father gave me passes for the three of us to take us to a safe place, a place where the families of the really important people go."

"No," Bri said, half choking. "You go. You and Julie. I'll stay here for Mami and Papi."

Alex stroked Bri's hair. "Julie won't go without you and neither will I. For our sake, you have to come with us."

"But what about Mami and Papi?" Bri cried. "How will they find us?"