Nicci French - Until it's Over

A police constable dropped me back at the house and left me on the front steps, fumbling the key into the lock with hands that wouldn’t stop shaking, and dropping it twice before I managed to push open the door. It was only after the car had turned and driven away that it occurred to me my bike was still at the station, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. I felt oddly sluggish, and very cold in spite of the borrowed clothes I was bundled up in. I was intending to creep in quietly and sneak up to my own room, where I could lie down and pull the duvet over my head, but as I pushed the door shut I heard excitable voices downstairs, and then Pippa shouted: ‘Astrid? Is that you? Come here, will you? We need you.’

So I made my way downstairs, where I found the entire household gathered, plus Leah. Everyone was sitting round the table, speaking loudly and at once, and I could only pick out fragments, many of which were expletives. I sank into the armchair, away from the group, and sighed.

‘Astrid can say what she thinks about it,’ said Davy. ‘She’s pretty reasonable.’

‘You think so?’ said Owen. He looked at me as if he were sizing me up.

‘Reasonable?’ Leah snorted. ‘I hardly agree.’

‘What about all the work she’s done in the garden?’ said Dario. ‘Surely that counts for something?’

‘What’s going on?’ I asked.

‘What are you wearing?’ asked Pippa. ‘Is this the latest bike-messenger uniform?’

‘No -’ I began.

‘Can we stick to the point?’ said Miles.

‘We need some kind of mediator,’ said Davy. ‘It’s hard for us to be objective. We don’t want to end up enemies.’

‘Too late,’ said Dario.

‘I’m a solicitor,’ said Pippa. ‘I can be objective.’

Leah snorted again, louder this time.

‘Shut her up,’ Mick said, in a low, controlled voice. A vein was pulsing in his temple.

‘Leah,’ said Miles. ‘Please. You’re not helping.’

I was surprised he didn’t shrivel up under the force of her glare.

‘I’m simply saying all the things you think but are too cowardly to say yourself. You want me to do your dirty work for you. Then they can blame it all on Leah, the Wicked Witch of the North.’

‘Of the West, actually,’ said Dario.

‘Please, what’s going on?’ I said again.

‘Bad stuff,’ said Dario.

‘Can I explain?’ Pippa leaned towards me. ‘I was the one who called this meeting. I thought it would be a good idea to discuss the terms of our eviction.’

‘I’m not evicting you,’ said Miles. I could tell from the way he said it that he had said this many times already.

‘We have rights,’ said Dario. ‘Don’t we, Pip?’

‘Miles has already been generous,’ said Leah.

‘Generous how?’ asked Owen. ‘Generous in telling us to go? Generous in giving us a paltry few weeks to find somewhere else to live?’

‘I’m a sitting tenant,’ said Dario. ‘Correct, Pip?’

‘Well…’ began Pippa.

‘Can I say something?’ Miles interjected.

I almost felt sorry for him.

‘Not if you’re going to give way even more,’ said Leah. ‘This has gone far enough.’

Davy got up from his chair and came and squatted down at my feet. ‘Are you all right, Astrid?’ he mumbled. ‘You seem a bit out of it.’

I smiled gratefully at him and opened my mouth to speak, but closed it again. I couldn’t bear to talk about it. Not yet. I didn’t want this rabble turning their attention on me and showering me with their questions.

‘… in the light of rising house prices and tenants’ rights…’

‘I’ll tell you later,’ I mouthed.

‘… we need to reach an agreement on how much money is fair and reasonable,’ Pippa was saying. She sounded suddenly like a different person. Someone bureaucratic and pedantic.

‘You want him to pay you off,’ said Leah. ‘I might have known it would come down to money in the end.’

‘Oh, sorry,’ said Pippa. ‘How vulgar to mention it.’

‘I want to be fair,’ said Miles. He half turned and flung me a look of such desperate appeal that on another day I might have come to his rescue. Instead, I sat limply in the armchair and thought of Ingrid de Soto ’s mutilated face and felt nausea rise in me.

‘We have to work out a ratio,’ said Pippa, ‘depending on how long we’ve each been here.’

‘You would say that, wouldn’t you?’ said Leah. ‘You’ve been here the longest.’

‘What about all the work I’ve done on the house?’ put in Dario.

Beside me, Davy made a huffing sound and said something about damp courses.

‘What about the fact that you’ve paid no rent since you moved in?’ snapped Leah. ‘And it all needs redoing anyway.’

‘Are you sure you want to be alone with this lady, Miles?’ asked Dario.

‘I’ve not been here very long,’ said Davy.

‘You and me both, mate,’ said Owen.

‘No one’s going to lose out,’ said Miles. ‘How about fifteen thousand?’

‘Are you mad?’ exclaimed Leah. ‘Listen, Miles, you don’t have to give them anything at all. They haven’t got a leg to stand on and they know it. Don’t be intimidated.’

‘They’re my friends,’ said Miles. ‘Don’t interfere. Or don’t you want me to have friends? Is that it?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’

‘Fifteen thousand each?’ said Pippa.

‘Pippa, you know I can’t afford anything like -’

‘Because a fifteen-thousand-pound lump sum, to be shared out between us, is insulting. We’ve lived here for years. We’ve helped you pay your mortgage. Now we have to find somewhere else to live. We have to put down deposits and buy furniture and begin again. Meanwhile, the value of your house has gone up tenfold.’

‘Twenty, then. In instalments.’

‘We all chipped in for the boiler,’ said Dario. ‘That cost loads.’

‘Yeah,’ said Pippa. ‘Even though some of us, not to mention names, Mick and Dario, get more benefit from it than others.’

‘If you don’t like my painting,’ said Dario, sulkily, ‘what about Astrid’s garden? She’s spent days, weeks, on that.’

‘Nobody asked her to do it,’ said Leah. ‘We’re having it dug up.’

At last I spoke. ‘What a cunt you are,’ I said.

Leah turned and stared at me. Her beautiful eyes were hard. ‘The cunt who got your man, though.’

‘Whoa,’ said Davy. He looked startled.

‘Have you never heard the word before?’ Leah asked brightly. ‘Up north, did they never…?’

‘Cunt,’ said Mick loudly. Everyone stared at him. Who was he talking to? Then Pippa gave a tiny giggle, and smacked a hand over her mouth.

‘Stop now,’ pleaded Miles. ‘This isn’t how to do anything.’

‘Why? I’m just starting to enjoy myself,’ said Leah.

‘I don’t care about the money,’ I said. ‘You can have mine, if you want. This is just really, really horrible.’

Silence fell on the room. For a moment, the expression on each face was frozen. Then the anger and self-righteousness turned into shame. Miles put his head in his hands for a moment, then lifted it again, meeting my eyes. ‘I wish this wasn’t happening,’ he said. ‘I wish I could turn back the clock.’

‘You can,’ said Dario, eagerly. ‘You can, mate. Just say the word.’

‘Let’s go to the pub,’ said Davy. ‘Get out of here. Talk about it later. Not rush into anything. Yes? What do you say?’

‘There’s nothing to talk about,’ said Leah, but nobody took any notice of her.

‘Good idea,’ said Dario. ‘The most sensible thing I’ve heard for hours. The first round’s on me, except I don’t have any money on me, now I come to think of it. Don’t know where it’s gone. Come on, Miles, don’t look so wretched. Nobody’s died.’