David Moody - Dog Blood

“Questions,” Mallon suddenly announces, carefully replacing the board, then sitting down again. “If you’re not going to talk to me, let me see if I can hazard a guess at some of the questions you’re too proud to ask. We’ll start with the basics, shall we? Who am I? Where are you? What are you doing here? How come you’re still alive? How long will you stay alive? What are we going to do to you? Tell me, Danny, am I on the right lines?”

He’s right, and I need to know all of that and more, but I still won’t answer. I can’t answer. Won’t even look at him. I clench my fists, tense my muscles and grind my teeth, and stare up at the ceiling, doing all I can not to give him the satisfaction of a response. He shakes his head and sucks his teeth. If I stay quiet for long enough, maybe he’ll tell me anyway? Bastard seems to like the sound of his own voice.

“Not going to talk to me at all this evening?”

Don’t react. He wants you to react. He’s trying to antagonize you.

“You know I can keep you here as long as I like, don’t you?”

Ignore him.

“I’m thinking you’re uncomfortable lying there like that. If I leave you all night it’s going to get pretty bloody painful.”

He won’t undo these chains whatever I do. More bullshit.

“And you’re gonna get mighty hungry. How long’s it been since you’ve eaten? A day? Longer? And water, too… your throat must be burning.”

Fucker’s playing mind games. Don’t bite.

He waits. Watching me. Trying to outpsych me.

“Danny McCoyne,” he sighs, voice full of mock disappointment, picking up the lamp and leaning closer, “you need to spend some time thinking about your predicament. You’ve lost all control, sunshine. What happens to you now is totally up to me.”

He stares down at me for a moment longer. I meet his gaze, determined not to be the one who’ll crack. After a few seconds that feel like minutes, he stands up straight and moves back toward the door.

“Well, I’m not wasting any more time on you tonight. I’m hungry. We’ve got good supplies here, better than most. Going to fetch myself something to drink and some food, then get some sleep. It’s been good talking to you.”

With that he leaves, taking the lamp with him. He pulls the door shut with a loud thud, then locks it. I hear his footsteps walking away, then silence. The quiet is deafening and is interrupted only by the fading sound of a far-off helicopter or plane and the steady drip of the water in the corner.

The room is pitch black, no light at all. The kind of dark your eyes won’t ever get used to.

Who the hell is Joseph Mallon? Is he on his own here? Just a lone crackpot trying to make a stand, or is he part of something bigger?

My gut begins to rumble with hunger again, and the itch by my right knee returns. Wish I could scratch it. That’s all it’d take, just a few seconds scratching, then it would go. Feels like someone’s digging a nail into my flesh.

I HEAR A SCREAM in the darkness, but I can’t tell whether it’s coming from somewhere inside this building or outside. In the smothering darkness everything has lost its form and definition. I have no concept of time or how long I’ve been here. I tried counting the drips, but my tired brain can’t keep track, and now the noise each drip makes is like a hammer blow to the head. I can’t stay still, but I can’t move either. Every time I pull on my chains they seem to tighten even more.

I don’t know how long it’s been since I last drank anything, but my bladder’s been filling steadily. I won’t shout out and put myself at the mercy of Joseph Mallon or any other Unchanged scum here. That’s what he wants. He’s trying to get me to break under pressure by starving me and keeping me chained up and in the dark. I’m better than him. I won’t let him get to me. But at the same time I can’t stop my body from doing what it’s supposed to. I pissed myself a while back. What else could I do? It was either that or shout for Mallon. Now I’m soaked with strong-smelling urine. It was warm, but my bare legs are freezing now, and I stink. That bastard has reduced me to this, but I won’t let him beat me.

My body aches. My legs and arms are numb. Never thought it could hurt so much to stay still for so long. Just wish I could get up and walk around. And God, I’m so fucking hungry. My empty stomach keeps cramping so bad it feels like it’s turning itself inside out. Don’t know what I’m going to do when I need to shit. Not even going to think about it until it happens. Have to try to keep myself distracted, but it’s impossible when I can’t see or hear anything and when I can’t move and when I don’t know where I am or how long I’m going to be here…

Stop.

Focus.

This is what he wants. He’s trying to push me over the edge. It won’t work. I won’t let it work.

Leg’s itching again. Worse than before.

Helicopter. Long way off…

How long before you go crazy in the dark? A kid at school-long, long time ago-said it was just hours if there’s absolutely no light at all. Pointless thinking about time, because I don’t know how long I’ve been lying here. Part of me is starting to wish Joseph Mallon would come back just to break the monotony. Never thought I’d actually look forward to seeing one of the Unchanged, but staring at that evil piece of shit’s face would be better than lying here staring at nothing, just thinking. Don’t like being able to think like this. Makes me question things I’ve known all along are right. Makes me start to doubt myself. Makes me think stupid, crazy thoughts about Ellis-how close I might have got to her and how far I am from her now. I was within a couple of miles of Lizzie’s sister’s house, and now I could be anywhere.

What’s my little girl doing? Is she fighting? Is she already dead? Is she in another room in this building? Is she in the room next door? What if Mallon doesn’t come back? What if I’ve fucked up and blown my chance with him? What if he leaves me here to starve to death, strapped to a piss-soaked bed?

What a fucking failure. All that noise and fighting and bullshit-four months of it-and I’ve let myself get beaten by an unfit, overweight Unchanged who looks like he couldn’t fight his way out of a paper bag. He can’t be the only one running this place. There were at least four out on the street when they got me, and none of them were as fat and out of shape as Mallon.

Thinking about the street makes me think about the hospital and how I criticized Paul for running headfirst into a one-sided fight that I thought was a setup. At least he went out fighting. For all I know he might still be out there while I’m stuck here…

I’m starting to get scared.

The dripping noise is getting louder and faster.

Thought I felt something moving on the bed.

Thought I saw a flash of light.

Am I hallucinating now?

Am I going out of my fucking mind? Going crazy in the dark? Need to keep focused, so I try to remember Ellis’s face. But the harder I concentrate, the less I see. I’m scared I’ll forget what she looks like. The face I see now isn’t her, it’s a combination of the faces of the feral kids we found in the school this morning… or yesterday morning… or whenever the hell that was.

Leg hurts.

Just want to scratch that fucking itch.

THE DOOR FLIES OPEN, and Mallon barges into the room. He’s carrying something with both hands and holding the light beneath it. The combination of searing light and dark shadows stops me from seeing anything. He doesn’t look at me, must be focused on whatever it is he’s going to do to me. He turns his back and puts something down on the chair; then he puts the lamp on the floor in the corner of the room.