Neil McMahon - To The Bone

Then, suddenly, Julia pinched hard with her nails. Anna flinched and gasped, tried to rise, but Julia's other hand on her shoulder held her where she was. Julia could feel her panting. She held the pressure of her fingernails steady, just short of drawing blood.

"Did I say cow?" Julia said softly. "I meant sow." She released her grip and gave the breast a contemptuous slap. "Get out."

The girl hurried across the room, almost running, the robe left lying on the floor. Julia watched her, breathing hard with anger. But it was not really at Anna – she was only a place to put it.

Julia closed her eyes, remembering the alluring innocence of Eden's face, the restless energy in her finely shaped limbs. The dark fire that came into her eyes when she was caressed.

Julia had thought it would help, having another young woman here today. But after Eden, mere creatures like Anna were intolerable.

Outside, a car started and pulled away with a spray of gravel. Anna might never come back – or she might come back pleading. Either way, there were always others.

Julia walked through the studio, her gaze moving restlessly, looking for a project to interest her. But all her fine stone looked bleak and without promise now.

Then the door into the main house opened, and her husband stepped through. She was surprised, and not pleasantly. She could not remember the last time he had been in her studio – years ago, surely. It had been that long since they had shared much of anything.

"I was almost run over by a young woman driving out of here," D' Anton said. He was stiff, formal, still dressed in the business suit he had worn at the clinic this morning.

"She was modeling for me."

"Yes, I assumed so. She looked very upset. What happened?"

Julia shrugged. "She was unsatisfactory. Since when are you so interested in my work?"

"This isn't about your work. It's about your losing control of yourself."

"I have a temperament, Welles," she said haughtily. "It comes from having warm blood in my veins, instead of ice water."

D'Anton walked farther into the room, toward her. His face was concerned, understanding – the kind of look he used with his patients.

"I know you were in love with Eden," he said. "And that you're very, very angry."

"Don't you patronize me," she snapped back. D' Anton flinched a little. She began to step slowly around him, circling.

"Yes, I gave her love," Julia said. "But she went with you, because you promised her candy. You don't have any love to give."

"I didn't try to take her love from you. I saw what I could do with her."

"With her? Or to her? Your idea of beauty goes as deep as a magazine cover. You've never understood the first thing about real art. It celebrates flaws."

D'Anton grimaced impatiently. "Let's not forget who has the world-class reputation."

"Thanks to my family's influence. Your steel mill worker father didn't help much, did he?"

"What a shame your family's influence couldn't buy you any talent," D'Anton said, with cold pity. "All that schooling in Europe, and still the only people who'll buy your work are your friends."

"And you've never dared risk pushing for something more than nice tits and a pretty smile." She slapped her trembling palm down flat on a workbench.

D'Anton moved toward her again. His face had gone rigid, his eyes very intense.

"Julia," he said, speaking very quietly now. "Did you – interfere with Eden somehow? After the surgery?"

Her eyes widened in outrage. "What are you saying?"

"Out of jealousy? Revenge, because she left you?"

Her hand scuttled across the workbench and tightened around an iron mallet. D' Anton stopped walking.

"I have ignored – certain things," he said, almost whispering. "But I can't continue. You'll destroy us both."

He turned abruptly and hurried out of the studio, fumbling to close the door behind him.

Julia stood with the mallet clenched in her shaking hand, aware of his fading footsteps, then the silence around her. A sudden spasm wracked her body, chattering her teeth and bending her over, with her muscles clenching in spastic contortions.

Panting, she walked swiftly to a large, canvas-draped marble in the studio's far corner. She yanked off the cover and raised the mallet, willing herself to smash it, to exorcise Eden Hale from her memory.

But her arm dropped to her side. This was all there was left of that passion.

She let the cover fall back into place and put down the mallet.

There would be others, she told herself again. There were always plenty of others.

Monks pulled the Bronco into his own driveway just after five p.m., sweaty and gritty. His place was in the coastal mountains of Marin County – a few acres of redwoods with a cabin that he had bought in the '70s and ended up with after his divorce. It was still rudimentary, with woodstove heat and plank floors. But it was quiet, private, and you could glimpse the Pacific on clear days.

He cut the Bronco's engine, got out, and walked to one of the giant redwoods. He squatted down with his back against it, then leaned his head back, too, and closed his eyes. It was something he had learned to do years ago, when he was feeling drained. Here, the afternoon sunlight was dappled through the thick foliage, a friendly warmth instead of a glaring blast. The tree's shaggy bark was sun-warm, too, and he imagined that a deeper healing force radiated from within its thick trunk. Monks basked in between, like a baby wrapped in a comforting blanket, until he heard the house's screen door open and close.

Martine Rostanov came out onto the deck. She was a slight woman with a mop of dark hair and a metal-braced left leg, the result of a childhood horse-riding accident, which she swung from the hip when she walked.

"You all right?" she called. Her forehead was creased with worry.

Monks nodded. He got to his feet and climbed the deck stairs into her embrace. Now her warmth flowed into him, strong and sweet.

"Did something happen?" she said.

"I lost a patient last night."

"Oh, hon. I'm so sorry." She pressed harder against him. "Can I get you a drink?"

"I'm going to work out for a few minutes," Monks said. "After that, I'd kill for one."

"I'll have it ready."

He changed quickly into sweats, assessing his physical condition for the first time in a long while. He had the coloration of the black Irish, green eyes and wiry black hair that was starting to gray, but was still mostly there. His face was craggy and pitted with old acne scars, his once aquiline nose getting thicker. Wild bushy eyebrows had earned him the nickname Rasp, for Rasputin, in the navy. Officially he stood six foot one, although he suspected that he was starting to shrink. But his wind was good, and his chest and gut were tight. After almost getting hamstrung by a psychopath with a grape-picker's knife, he had never let himself get badly out of shape again.

He walked to the old garage that he had outfitted as a gym. It was one of the original structures on the place, good-sized – intended for working on vehicles, not just housing them – with bare frame walls and roof. Monks had rebuilt the floor with pressure-treated two-by-ten joists and plywood. He had installed a Vitamax weight machine in one corner and hung a heavy bag in the room's center Most days, he spent fifteen minutes doing sit-ups and weights, then another twenty of hammering the bag. It was not a thorough workout, but it kept his body toned, and on a day like this it offered release.

The room was hot, with the faint good smell of the redwood it had been built from, back when that was cheap lumber. He went through a quick routine on the machine – fifty sit-ups with a ten-pound weight behind his head, sets of bench and military presses, butterflies, and pull-downs – then put on his bag gloves. Usually he started by standing still, throwing controlled left jabs at the bag to get his distance, then stepping in with right crosses and follow-up left hooks. Soon, his feet would start moving by themselves, and he would circle the bag, gathering speed and force.