Glenda Larke - The Heart of the mirage

I turned to Brand, and the shleth took advantage of my inattention to start pulling leaves from a nearby bush with its fingers. 'I could atone by giving up my life and my child, but I'm damned if I'll do that willingly. It's just not in me. But I can try to stop the Stalwarts. And my only chance to do that is to stay ahead of Pinar if she is indeed following me. Or hope Garis manages to delay her.'

He was thoughtful. 'Once the Kardis find out you were telling the truth about the Stalwarts, they will forgive much. Especially if you turn the legionnaires back. You could return to the Mirage City. They can hardly blame you for what Solad did. You could claim your rightful place as their Miragerin.'

'No.'

He looked at me shrewdly. 'You're doing this for him. Denying your chance to have the kind of power you've always wanted, because it would be at his expense.' For once I felt his emotions, and they were such a contradictory mix I couldn't decide exactly what dominated. There was certainly plenty of rage, but I suspected most of that was directed at Temellin.

'So what if I am?'

'By the Goddess, you've changed!' He shook his head in a sort of bemused, wonder and then drawled,

'Do you realise that in a couple of months you have managed to change your name three times? Ligea- Derya-Shirin-Sarana. Aren't you overdoing things a bit, my dear?'

As usual he managed to drag a reluctant chuckle out of me. I said, 'Let's gallop again. I really don't want to confront Pinar.' I slapped a hand down on the neck of my mount and, startled, it leapt away up the track.

As I rode, I wondered if Brand was right. I wasn't sure I was as altruistic as he thought. True, I didn't want to come to the position of ruler at Temellin's expense, any more than Korden had. To strip the man I loved of everything he had been raised to believe was rightfully his would be to castrate him, to take away his reason for living. I loved him too much to do that to him. But there was a selfishness in my reluctance too. Once Temellin found out I hadn't lied about the Stalwarts, there was always the possibility we could get together again, that he might forgive me my deception. I could tell him I had decided that being closely related to him didn't matter after all… I was never one to close doors behind me if it were possible to leave them ajar.

On the other hand, if I took away Temellin's mandate to rule, I would be slamming a door and probably locking it as well, because part of him would never be able to forgive me.

Besides, I wasn't convinced I wanted to be Miragerin anyway. What joy would there be in ruling a country that didn't want me? Especially when the seed of a much better idea was already rattling around in my thoughts…

‹ -.-.-¦¦ ¦ ¦¦j-.-.-.‹s.:,h '‹¦›,-.H

That evening, when we pulled up to water our shleths at a roadside pond, Brand said, 'We have to stop, Ligea.

These beasts are ready to drop and I'm not much better. Vortex only knows how you feel.'

'Don't coddle me, Brand.' I smiled at him. 'That's one sin you've never been guilty of yet, so don't you dare start now just because I'm having a baby. But I agree with you: we'll stop here for the night. There's plenty of grazing and water.' I slid off my mount and started to unsaddle.

I had just finished hobbling my beast when a startled exclamation from Brand had me whirling, with my sword already halfway out of its scabbard. In the moments it had taken me to attend to the shleth, a building had appeared beside the pond. It was a solid structure of grey stone, three storeys high with several turrets and some pine trees on the roof.

'Where in the name of the Goddess did that come from?' Brand asked in consternation.

T imagine that's a gift from the Mirage Makers for tired travellers,' I replied, amused.

He gaped. 'Isn't it a mite, um, large for the two of us?'

T suspect the Mirage Makers have always been a little confused about the needs of humans. You only have to look at the Mirage City to see that.' I picked up my saddlebags. 'Shall we see if they have thought to supply any furniture? The idea of a pallet is very tempting.' I rubbed my buttocks ruefully. 'Two months in prison doesn't do much good to muscles.'

There were pallets, an abundance of them. There was also a surfeit of more trivial objects that weren't of the slightest use: toys, candelabra (but no candles), a spinning wheel, a small boat, enough saddlery to outfit a legion. Brand shook his head in bewilderment. 'Mad,' he muttered. 'Quite, quite mad.' He turned his attention to preparing a meal, while I ^went outside to

ward the building. I could not keep Pinar out, but I could fix it so I would be warned the moment the Miragerin-consort entered, if indeed she came at all.

Later that night, it was the breaking of that ward that woke me, sending a searing pain through my hand from my cabochon. The stone had flared and was still glowing its alarm. Quickly I crossed to Brand on the other side of the room and shook him awake. 'Someone's here,' I murmured.

I raised the cabochon to my ear, listened – and my heart sagged within me. It was Pinar.

Pinar was not alone; Garis was with her.

Brand wanted to sneak away immediately, but I disabused him of the notion such a feat was possible. 'She already senses me,' I said. 'We move from here, and she'll know. My only chance is to talk, to try to show her -'

'Talk? Are you crazy? That woman is beyond reason!'

I turned from him, strapping on my sword, knowing the truth of his words, fearing I was going to die.

'You can't do this! Will you risk your life so casually?' he raged at me. 'His son -?'

'The child will not die. He will live forever.'

'As what? As some creature that is not human? Without body, without soul?' He shuddered. 'I would not wish such a fate on my worst enemy, Ligea.'

'Who are we to say it would not be a better existence than the one we live? We have no concept of what it's like to be a Mirage Maker, Brand. My son might save this land, might save these entities that are the Mirage, and the bond-between Magor and Mirage

Makers will be strengthened. Do you think I want to do this?'

'And what of you? Vortex, Ligea, what ofyouV

I turned back to him. I wanted to scream at him, to say: I want her dead! Of course I do! I want her child sacrificed, not mine, not me! Oh, Goddess, Brand, I don't want to die – I just don't know how to save myself…

Instead, I said, 'What of me? Perhaps this way of dying will give my life some meaning. And Garis could see that my son goes to the Mirage Makers. Tell him, Brand, if I don't have the chance. And as for the Stalwarts, do what you can to persuade the Magor they are coming.'

He was incredulous. 'Is this really you, Ligea? I never thought I'd ever listen to words of defeat from your lips. Fight the bitch!' He took up his unsheathed sword.

'Keep out of this, Brand,' I warned. 'You cannot fight anyone of the Magor. She will not harm you if you stay out of it.'

'And what sort of a man do you think I will be if I stand aside and let the woman I love be killed, and then allow her body to be mutilated?' he asked, enraged.

I had no time to reply. The door opened and Garis stepped into the room. His arm was no longer in a sling, its recovery hastened, I assumed, by the Magor ability to aid healing. He was followed by Pinar. The Magoria's sword was already drawn and glowing, adding to the light I had coaxed out of my cabochon.

Garis spoke first, anxiously apologetic. 'Sorry, Shirin. I couldn't stop her.'

'What do you intend, Pinar?' I asked quietly. 'I'm sure Garis has told you of the way my honesty was tested -'

'A fraud!' she snapped. 'He's a child, easily deceived by sleight of hand. And who's to say the text was accurate anyway? I've never heard of such a test!'