Glenda Larke - The Heart of the mirage

And most of all, it was hard to acknowledge that for much of that life I, independent, manipulative, power-hungry Ligea Gayed, had danced to another's direction. I'd been betrayed by the two men I called father. Mocked by the man I'd called my mentor. I'd been manipulated, a poor senseless marionette jerked on the end of strings held by my enemies.

One good thing came out of my new understanding of who I was. I knew now that my son had been fathered by my cousin, not by my brother.

When Reftim brought in my lunch later that day, I asked abruptly, 'Where were they all,going?'

'I don't know that I should answer that,' he said, his plump cheeks flushing to match the colour of his bobble nose.

'Then let me speak to someone who can. Who's in charge now the Mirager has gone?'

'The Miragerin-consort.'

'Oh. Well, I hardly want to see her. Who else of the Magoroth is still here?'

'Garis didn't leave. Nor did Gretha.'

Gretha was Korden's wife and a little calculation told me she was expecting another child any time. 'I'll see Garis,' I said.

'I'll tell him you want to,' Reftim replied, making it clear he doubted Garis would come.

He was wrong; Garis came barely half an hour later. He paused in the doorway and we stared at one another, both looking for the right words to say. He was doing his best to shield his emotions, but Garis tended to leak things at the best of times. I'd felt his curiosity even before the door opened.

'Well met, Garis. What have you done to yourself?' I asked, indicating the sling he wore around a heavily bandaged left arm.

'Broke a bone,' he said briefly. 'Came off my shleth yesterday like a damned fool.'

'And you so proud of your riding skills!'

He gave a reluctant grin, and for a moment he was his usual cheerful self. 'Don't rub it in – everyone else has. The Mirage chose to grow a tree right in front of my mount just when I was taking a drink from my waterskin; hardly my fault. Those wretched Mirage Makers! I could almost believe they wanted me to miss out on all the fun.' He gazed around with interest. 'I was told your room was prone to changes, but I didn't hear about the books.' He walked over to have a look;

it did not escape my notice that he'd made no attempt to touch my cabochon in greeting, and I doubted the snub had anything to do with his injury. He ran a finger along the spines of a row of volumes, reading the titles. 'They're all in Kardi! Did you know you're breaking Tyranian law? It's one of the new promulgations of the Exaltarchy: the Kardi language is now barbaric and unlawful. They have been destroying our written works for years, of course, but now they want to make it illegal even to speak our own language in any public venue.'

'I didn't know that,' I said, 'about not speaking Kardi, I mean. But there's a great deal I don't know, Garis. I haven't spoken to anyone except Illuser-reftim – and Caleh very briefly – for two months, and Reftim never says anything anyway. Why has everyone left?'

He looked up sharply, shedding his concern. 'Did Temellin never come?'

'Only once. Right at the beginning.'

'Ah. I did wonder. Cabochon, you must have been lonely. I would have come if you'd asked for me.'

'That might have been unwise on your part. I am hardly the city's most beloved guest at the moment. I did appreciate your sending the flowers, though; that was a kind thought.'

His emotions blanked over. 'Flowers? What flowers?'

I stared. 'You haven't been sending me flowers?' I indicated the vase on my desk. That day the petals of each flower reassembled themselves every few minutes, so that the flower arrangement was different every time I looked.

He shook his head. 'I'm sorry – I didn't think of it. I wish I had.'

'Reftim told me they came from you.'

'I didn't even know about them. I bet I know who did send them, though.'

'Do you think so?' I was doubtful, yet wanting to believe.

"Who else?'

I thought immediately of Pinar, some trick of hers, but had to dismiss that idea: the flowers were harmless and perfectly ordinary, insofar as the Mirage's flowers were ever ordinary. Who indeed. Yet he hadn't wanted me to know they came from him… I pushed the thought away before it could hurt me with the other memories it would bring. 'Garis, did you believe me when I said Brand had told the truth – that I had changed, and given my loyalties to Kardiastan?'

He looked away to take a book down from the shelf. 'Perhaps. I don't know. I can sense your truth, but Temellin says you can lie and make it seem like the truth.'

'No. I can't. I never lied. I just omitted to tell the whole story, and let people jump to the wrong conclusions. It was deliberate, of course, but it does make a difference. It means you can trust what I do say.'

'I've never been convinced you were wholly as Tyranian as Pinar or Korden said. Anyway,' he added, his expression suddenly mischievous and admiring, 'if you did come here with the idea of betraying us all, I can only salute you. It was a gloriously brave, wonderfully insane thing to do.'

I chuckled. 'It was rather involuntary, if you'll remember. Events sort of overtook me.'

He wasn't listening. He had just read the title of the book he was holding, and his attention was now back on the books on the same shelf. 'Mirageless soul! Shirin, do you know what these books are?'

'Old Magor texts.'

'But so many of these were destroyed in the palace fire following the invasion – they haven't been in existence for twenty-five years! I've heard about them, but I never dreamed I'd actually ever see any of them.'

'Ah. I suppose the Mirage must have remembered them.'

'Sweet cabochon – you've been reading these?'

'Certainly. I've had plenty of time to perfect my Kardi reading skills.'

He looked at me in consternation. 'Shirin, was that wise? Surely you must realise the more you know of Magor powers, the more reluctant Temellin will be to ever let you go.'

'He has already told me he will never release me, so what difference does it make?'

'If Pinar hears about this, she'll have a new argument for your death. She's already quite boring on the subject.'

I snorted. 'So much for cousinly love. She has, in fact, made two attempts on my life as well.'

His look was guarded, but his seeping emotions communicated his disbelief.

'You haven't answered my question: where has everyone gone?'

He considered. 'I don't suppose it matters if I tell you. Temellin is moving against Tyrans. We have had word fresh troops have been landing at one of the southern ports. Temel believes them to be reinforcements, not replacement troops. It seems Tyrans is going to try to wipe out all Kardi opposition; Temellin wants to ensure the reverse. This is to be a full-scale war, Shirin.'

I felt physically ill. 'Goddessdamn! Garis, those troops are not reinforcements; they are diversionary.

Did you hear about what I told Korden and Temellin concerning the Stalwarts?'

'Yes,' he said carefully. 'But – well, Shirin, we all found it very hard to believe. Once Temellin heard about these new landings, he decided your talk of the Alps crossing was an attempt to divert our attention away from the south.'

'Oh, Vortexdamn him! That idiot!' I sank down into the chair. 'Garis, things are even worse than I thought they would be – and I'm a fool too. I should have done more to convince Temellin. It's just that I didn't envisage this diversion. I didn't know of it.'

'It's not possible for the legions to cross the Alps.'

'Has anyone ever tried from here?'

'No. Why should they?'

'Then how do you know what it is like? The Stalwarts would have sent someone to reconnoitre before they made the decision to attack from there; they must know it is possible. And Temellin has left the Mirage defenceless. I'm surprised he even left you and Pinar behind,' I added disgustedly.