Andrew Vachss - Two Trains Running

“What difference would that make?”

“That they’re fattening? You can’t be serious,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. “You might not believe it, but I exercise every day. Just sit-ups, and touching my toes, and jumping jacks, like we learned in gym, but I do. And I watch what I eat-which is not the easiest thing. If I wanted, I could just swipe something from every plate Booker puts out. If I didn’t watch myself, I’d turn into a whale. I wish I could lose ten pounds, just like that,” she said, snapping her fingers.

“You don’t have to-” Dett quickly interrupted himself, seeing the look on Tussy’s face. “I exercise, too,” he said, quickly.

“It’s not the same for you,” Tussy said. “You’ll never get fat,” Tussy said.

“How can you know?”

“Because you can tell from a person’s body type. You’ve got a naturally lean build. You could probably eat anything you wanted, and you wouldn’t gain weight. But me, I’m naturally… plump. If I didn’t put up a fight, I’d-”

“Okay.”

“Okay? Okay, what?”

“Okay, I can’t win. If I say you look perfect, you’re going to say I’m an idiot. Or, worse, lying. But I’m not going to agree with you, either, so I’ll just shut up.”

“Oh, go get the food!” Tussy said, flashing a smile.

1959 October 06 Tuesday 19:54

“I’ve known you a long time,” Ruth said. “But I never understood you. Not until now.”

“If you didn’t understand me,” Sherman said, “why did you-?”

“-come out here? Make the promise I did?”

“Yeah. When you said you… would, I… I never expected that.”

“I couldn’t bear not to see you again, Sherman.”

“And that’s what you thought, that you wouldn’t?”

“I… guess I didn’t know.”

“Why do you think I came out there?” the big man said, abruptly. “To your place?”

“So you could… you know.”

“No, I don’t know,” Sherman said, thick-voiced. “Tell me.”

“Have one of the girls,” Ruth said, looking down at her lap.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? What are you sorry about? You didn’t do-”

“I thought… Ruth, we made that… arrangement years ago. When I visit your place, how long does it take me to… do it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t-”

“Five minutes? Ten?”

“I guess.”

“And how long do I stay, afterwards?”

“You mean, when we talk? Sometimes it’s for…” Ruth’s voice trailed off, as the truth of what Sherman was telling her penetrated.

“Hours, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Ruth said. She felt her eyes start to glisten, kept her head down.

“All those… preparations, you know what they were for?”

“Because of what you… the way you wanted to…”

“So, when you said you’d do anything for me, that was what you were thinking of?”

“No,” she said, lifting a tearstained face. “I mean, it was. I would do that, but that isn’t what I meant. It wasn’t all I meant.”

“I’m lonely,” Sherman Layne said, heavily. “I’m always lonely. You’re the only one who makes a difference, Ruth. You’re the one I talk to. The other… thing, all that stuff, it was just an excuse. I don’t even… do what you think.”

Ruth stood up, turned to face Sherman, and studied him for a long moment. Then she turned sideways and nestled herself into the big man’s lap.

“Tell me now,” she said, gently.

“I told you… what I wanted to do, so you could tell them. But that wasn’t what I did. I just did it the… regular way.”

“But why did you let me think it was…?”

“Because, if that’s what the girls were expecting, and it didn’t happen, I knew they’d never say anything. For fifty bucks, they’d make it sound like it was the hardest thing they ever did, so the other girls wouldn’t want to do it, see? The rest, it was all so they would never see my face. Or hear my voice. Or even feel my… I always use a rubber, and I take it along with me when I’m done. Like I’m a phantom.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, Sherman?”

“I didn’t think it would matter. Until you… said what you said, I never thought you… I never thought you cared about me that way, Ruth. I knew you were my friend. I knew you were the one I trusted. But I was being a cop. The kind of cop I taught myself to become.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You know how cops are supposed to be ‘brothers in blue’? All for one, and one for all? Well, that’s a lie. The police depart-ment in Locke City is just like those apartments they build for poor people-the projects. The bids are always rigged, and there’s too much sand in the concrete. You can’t see it to look at them, but those buildings are rotting from the inside. One day, they’re going to just fall down, like a tornado hit them. They tolerate me because I do my job. I do it better than anyone they ever had. And someone’s got to solve the crimes.”

“Don’t they usually solve crimes?”

“Most crimes don’t need to be solved,” Sherman said. “Most murders, for example, you don’t have to look further than the family of the dead person to find out who did it. Most robbers, they keep doing the same thing, the same way, until they stumble into getting caught. And a lot of crime in Locke City isn’t crime, if you know what I mean?”

“Like my house?”

“Like your house. Like the casinos. Like the punch cards and the jukeboxes and… all the rest. And there’s other kinds, too, Ruth. There’s rich man’s crimes, which means just about anything a man does, as long as he’s got the contacts and the connections. And then there’s the crimes nobody gives a damn about.”

“What kind are those?” she asked, snuggling deeper.

“A guy beats his wife half to death, what’s going to happen to him?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing is exactly right. And his kids, unless he actually kills one, that’s on the house, too. To get away with crimes like that, you don’t even have to be rich.”

“All you have to do is be a man.”

“Yeah. A man can’t go to jail for burning down his own house. The only way he gets in trouble for that is if he tries to claim on the insurance. He can do what he wants with what he owns. The law says a man can’t rape his own wife. I mean, he can, but it’s not a crime. I had one of those, once.”

“A real rape? Not just…?”

“A real rape. This guy, he broke her jaw, snapped her arm like a matchstick from twisting it.”

“And nothing happened to him?”

“He wasn’t even arrested,” Sherman said.

Ruth caught something in his tone, shifted in his lap, whispered, “That doesn’t mean nothing happened to him.”

“You think that’s wrong?” he said, almost in a whisper.

“No, Sherman,” Ruth replied, shifting her weight again. “No, I don’t.”

1959 October 06 Tuesday 20:46

“Darryl, this is Mr. Moses,” Rufus said, almost formally. “He’s been in the struggle for longer than you and me have been alive, brother.”

“Yes?” Darryl said, his tone noncommittal.

“I would like it if you would talk. To each other,” Rufus said, his gesture encompassing both men. “In private.”

1959 October 06 Tuesday 21:01

“I know it’s just a movie, but this is scary,” Tussy said, sliding in close to Dett.

“I guess so,” he said, dubiously.

Tussy turned to her left, reached across Dett, and flicked the ash off her cigarette out his window. Her breast brushed lightly against his chest, firing a synapse that radiated through his groin. Her hair smelled like flowers he couldn’t identify.

1959 October 06 Tuesday 21:02

“What do you say?” Rufus asked Darryl.