Jane Orcutt: All the Tea in China

I wished he had not mentioned my plans. I had told myself that I was being noble for abandoning them, but in truth, all I could think of at that moment was that the only loss that mattered to me was him.

He touched my hair, smiling. “You are indeed a spontaneous creature, Isabella. Will you change your mind about me while I am gone?”

“Never,” I whispered. “My spontaneity has brought sorrow to those I love. I see now that I was selfish in leaving Uncle Toby and Flora, that I thought only of myself. I pray that they forgive me.”

“You are not selfish. Quite the opposite. You wanted only to help others.”

I realized then the fear Uncle Toby must have felt when Flora returned without me. What if Phineas did not return? Who would give me even an inkling of his fate? It was a long journey… Mountains were steep… Bandits might lurk at any bend…

I held him close, fear overtaking me. “Please come back to me,” I whispered.

“We will be together again,” he insisted, kissing me. “You have my pledge.”

His words meant no deception as they had when we had first met, but I did not know that I could trust them still. So much in life was beyond mortal control-destiny, some would call it, God’s will, others. I suddenly realized that I had traveled this great distance not to find adventure, but love, and I wondered if Phineas and I would have been better served-safer-to have found that love back in England.

He left soon after the sun rose, and I could barely speak, so heartbroken was I. I doubted my motives for staying in Canton when his mother merely nodded at him as a farewell. Surely she did not need someone to look after her! Naturally, I felt instant shame at the notion, but I do confess that my heart longed to journey with him and leave her to fend for herself.

At last Phineas drew me aside, and after giving me a final kiss, whispered, “I cannot bear to be parted from you. I promise to return as soon as I possibly can. Do you believe me?”

I nodded mutely, accepting a final embrace, then watched as he left the safety of his mother’s home. After he had disappeared from view, Nai Nai gave me an evil glare, then went inside the compound to the house. Little Sister lingered with me for a moment, slipping her hand into mine. She had come to adore Phineas in the short time they had become reacquainted with one another, and I sensed she would miss him greatly.

Still hand in hand, she and I walked back into the house, silent. How would we three pass the time until he returned… if he did at all?

I decided to secretly take stock of the house-was everything in order? Were the servants performing as they should? Was there a secret stash of opium somewhere?

Naturally, Nai Nai caught me scouring her room for evidence. To say that she was livid would be an understatement. “What are you looking for?” she demanded as I guiltily closed her dresser drawer.

“What might I be looking for?” I challenged her, hoping that she would confess right away.

“Money, probably. That must be the only reason you married my son. You bewitched him into marrying you so that you could steal my money.”

In truth, this woman rivaled all the selfish thinking of Mrs. Akers! “Were you aware that Phineas did that very thing to me? He flirted with me to gain my uncle’s money.”

Her face reddened. “He would never do anything like that. He is a good son.”

“He is sorry for what he did, yes.”

“See?” She folded her arms. “I know that you didn’t leave with him so that you could stay here to torment me. You want to take over my house.”

“I only want to help,” I said. “I did not want you and Little Sister to be alone.”

“Bah! We have been alone for a long time now. We are fine.”

I wondered if it was too late to try to join Phineas. Surely it would not be difficult to find the Hupei province! How large could China be, anyway?

I took a deep breath. “Nai Nai, I know that you are using opium. I would like to discuss it with you.”

“If I would not talk about it to him, what makes you think I would talk about it with you? It is none of your concern, and if you try to interfere, I will throw you out of my home.”

She flounced out of the room, or would have, if her tiny feet had permitted a faster gait. I was glad to see it, though, for it reminded me to be sympathetic and charitable. I was inclined that way as long as I could focus on her feet-so to speak.

The rest of the first day was, I believe, painful for all three of us. Nai Nai moved through the house in stony silence, snapping at the cook, Fragrance, and the gardener. Little Sister sat at a chessboard most of the day, staring at the pieces. I asked her if she knew how to play, and she shook her head. “My father was going to teach me, but he died.”

“Would you like for me to teach you?”

“Another time.” She shook her head again and went back to studying the pieces, picking up each one as though it were for the first time.

I could not sleep that night, so heartsick was I. I had shared a room with Phineas for so long that the loneliness overwhelmed me. I curled up in a ball and finally fell asleep near daybreak. Of course I slept much later than usual, prompting many critical words from Nai Nai. I gritted my teeth and ignored them.

For the next few days, she found fault in everything I did, from how I arranged a vase of camellia blossoms, to my chess playing with Little Sister, to even how I looked.

“Why my son married you, with such hideous feet, is beyond my understanding,” she said, eyeing my slippers as I tucked them under my skirt.

Yes, and I can at least walk at a normal, civilized gait! “Phineas married me for more than my feet,” I said smugly.

She laughed. “Chinese men like women with small feet.”

I prayed she would speak no further on the matter, and thankfully, she did not. She returned to her embroidery work, which I must confess I admired greatly. She stitched the tiniest of flowers and animals on red silk. I had seen her handiwork on decorative pillows, and I wondered how she would employ the silk of this project but did not dare ask. I had asked Fragrance for my own embroidery materials, but Nai Nai had criticized my efforts so much that I decided to work on them only when alone.

We coexisted thusly for several weeks. I found I spent more time with Little Sister than Nai Nai, who disappeared for hours on end. When she did, the servants became lazy and insolent, refusing to obey not only me but Little Sister. Our meals seemed less fresh and appetizing, as though thrown together with scraps. Sometimes Nai Nai did not eat with us, and I wondered if she was taking meals in her room. One day she did not appear at all, and when I inquired about her, Fragrance only smiled mockingly. I feared that much was amiss, and I awoke one morning determined.

What was needed was for me to take over the household. Phineas had said that daughters-in-law often did so, and while my courtesy was to allow Nai Nai the management of her own home, someone had to stop her opium use as well as the laziness of the servants.

The first thing I did was to question the servants to see if they had noticed anything amiss. I started with Cook. He was displeased at my presence, never mind my endless questioning: Did someone go to market every day for fresh food? Did Madame Wong leave much of her food untouched? (I had heard that opium addicts lost interest in food.) Was he preparing as much as he should for Little Sister and me? Yes, yes, yes, he said, finally brandishing a cleaver and admonishing me to allow him to return to his work.

Fragrance was of more help. She said that Nai Nai had only begun to smoke opium within the past few months, but obviously it had begun to affect her management of the house. Fragrance often had to remind her of many basic details, such as seeing that everyone (particularly the servants, she noted) was clothed and fed on a regular basis. I found it interesting that she made no mention of neither Nai Nai’s nor Little Sister’s welfare.