Jane Orcutt - All the Tea in China

He must have noticed my faintness, for he helped me to sit again. I could not have been more embarrassed. To be caught in such a feminine act as swooning! Yet in truth I could not tell if it was fear or excitement that caused my head to swim so alarmingly.

“Isabella.” He dropped to one knee before my chair, holding my hand. “You may think that China is a heathen nation where a lady’s reputation does not matter, but I assure you that it is not so very different from England in certain regards. I seek to protect you from more than just idle gossip, however. You may speak the language tolerably well, and no one can doubt your ability to handle a sword in your own defense. But there are some instances in which the protection of my name, my position as your husband, would allow you more freedom to pursue your purpose.”

I could scarcely hear what he was saying over the horror pounding in my heart. “Please do not kneel so,” I whispered. “The servants are staring.”

He sat in the chair, his eyes still beseeching. “As my wife, you can travel where no English lady can go. You can be the missionary that you have always desired-without being limited to Macao.”

The thought did appeal to me. Though I spoke the language, Phineas’s presence would allow me access to China. But something seemed amiss. Phineas never bargained without getting something in return. “What would be the advantage for you?”

He studied me for a moment. “I esteem my mother highly, of course, but she has long wanted me wed.”

“To a Chinese maiden, I suppose?”

“Yes.”

“That does not meet with your approval?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “I wish to travel between China and England at will. I cannot imagine a Chinese wife adapting to the change.” He smiled. “However, I might have once said the same about you.”

I folded my arms across my chest. “You would present me as your wife simply to satisfy your mother?”

He nodded. “We would both accomplish our purposes, and your reputation would be safe.”

What he said made a certain amount of sense. What did it matter if I were married? Matches were arranged all the time at home. Hadn’t David entered into one with Cathy for mutual advantage?

And hadn’t I told Phineas when we first met that I never felt that young ladies were much concerned with love but with making a good match?

“This would be a good match for us both,” I said.

“Match?” He looked at me quizzically.

I nodded. “You once said that a lady who settles for love generally settles beneath herself.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you settling, Isabella?”

“I agree to your offer. I am entering into an agreement suitable for us both.” I shifted uncomfortably.

He cupped my face with his hand. “Beautiful Isabella, on my part there is more to the offer than mere convenience. Do you settle for love as well as the arrangement?” He lowered his voice. “I would have it so.”

His gaze and words transfixed me. I nodded, unable to speak.

He smiled then took my hand, and we rose. He did not look away from me, however, but continued to study my face. “Is something amiss?” I said.

He leaned closer, whispering. “I would seal our agreement with a binding kiss, but the servants may be watching. We must keep our engagement secret until we land at Macao and can wed quietly. Is that acceptable?”

“Of course.” I could not believe that he would bypass what we had both desired last night. I laughed. “Are you certain you will wait for the kiss?”

“You may depend upon it, my future Mrs. Snowe.”

Oh, how I longed for the arms of Flora in which to be hugged and advised. I was engaged to be wed, and yet I could tell no one, not even Julia Whipple. Uncle Toby… would he be happy by my news? Would he think a marriage of convenience to be better than none at all? But was it indeed only for convenience? Gentlemen desired wives, but not always for love. Companionship and intimacy, yet. But love?

As for myself, I was quite fond of Phineas Snowe, but did I love him? I had once imagined myself in love with David Ransom, but when he had married Catherine, I had not felt heartbreak so much as bewilderment that he had simply not spoken to me in advance about his plans.

No, Phineas sought only to protect me and to relieve his mother’s worries. And I… I would finally be the missionary I knew I was called to be!

The days passed with extraordinary swiftness, a contrast to the weariness of all aboard ship. Mrs. Akers had been heard to snap at Mrs. Harrison, who, to the amazement of all within earshot, seemed to possess enough wakefulness to snap back. Mr. Harrison and Mr. Akers, in turn, pretended nothing was amiss, perhaps relishing the day they could bid adieu to their wives in Macao for six months while they lived in Canton during the trade season.

The sailors, of course, were ready for their own free time on shore. I wondered at the lives they led, those aboard ship and those on land. Their grumbling had increased the farther away from England we had sailed, yet apparently they returned to a life at sea again and again, so they must find some enjoyment.

Mr. Calow never flagged in his enthusiasm for seafaring, though I accounted it all to his youthful nature. Since the voyage began, he had not only become quite proficient in tying the required naval knots but had also, from all reports, excelled in navigation. I believe Mr. Gilpin had a distinct hand in the midshipman’s tutoring, though the first mate himself seemed to have regained a sort of youthful enthusiasm of his own.

Julia may have had something, in turn, to do with his change of nature, for she remained his constant companion. No longer did I see her go below for hours at a time-for what purposes I had never asked, of course. She and I did not study together, either. Rather, she spent her time in her cabin reading one of Gilpin’s books or listening as he read aloud to her while they strolled the deck. They seemed quite devoted to one another, but it was still with some surprise that I received her news one day when we chanced to meet alone on the poop deck.

“What do you think?” she said. “Mr. Gilpin has asked me to marry him!”

I could have fallen overboard and not been more surprised. “I knew that you had favored each other’s company lately, but…”

“But he has made his opinion about me clear from the beginning of the voyage,” she finished for me. “That is what you were going to say?”

“Well… yes.”

“He said that no one could have given him better care while he was wounded, and he realized that it was not just physical care. He did not understand why I would want to change his bandage every day or help him with simple tasks like sitting or walking when he had never regarded me as a person of any character.”

I sat silent, unable to speak. Had we crossed some sort of invisible line in the ocean whereby society’s standards had been tossed overboard? “Please continue, Julia.”

“I told him that though I was a fallen woman, I yet considered myself a Christian, and it was my duty to help those in need. Once we spoke plainly with each other, we found the freedom to discuss more, such as the books we read, where we had been raised, and so on. He was unaware that I came from Portsmouth and was so familiar with the sea. You can imagine that we had much to discuss on that account.”

“Naturally,” I said. “Mr. Gilpin seems particularly fond of the naval life.”

“Yes, and I shouldn’t wonder that he will be the captain of his own ship one day, for he works hard, as I am certain you have noticed.”

I nodded. “What of his mother?” I said, disliking that my curiosity forced me to broach the subject, but it was a rather important one if they had discussed marriage.