Jane Orcutt - All the Tea in China

The letter arrived the next morning. Flora showed it to me, and we examined it together. Addressed to Uncle Toby in florid handwriting and sealed with the wax impression of a cross, it could only be from Phineas Snowe.

I clutched the letter between my hands. “Oh, Flora, this is my future life. Where is Uncle Toby?”

“I believe he’s in the study with one of the students-” I hurried down the hallway.

“Though I do not think he would care to be disturbed!” Flora called after me.

Outside the closed study door, I drew up short. I raised my hand to knock, then took a moment to straighten my skirt, pat my hair, and compose myself. Then I knocked. When Uncle Toby gave me entrance, despite my best efforts, I fairly flew through the door. I am not sure who looked more startled-Uncle Toby or his student, James Beatty. Beatty was an overly anxious young student who often turned red in the face, particularly in my presence. My impression of him was as a large puppy with feet still too big for its bearing.

Uncle Toby adjusted his spectacles and closed the book he and Mr. Beatty studied. “Here,” I said without preamble. “It must be my answer.”

Uncle Toby accepted the paper. “Mr. Beatty, we have studied enough for the day.”

“Yes, sir,” Beatty said. “Thank you, sir.”

Uncle Toby waited until the young man had presented us with a fumbling bow, then stumbled his way from the room. I took the chair he had vacated and leaned toward Uncle while he used an opener to unseal the wax. His expression never betrayed his emotion as he read. How long could the missive be?

“Well?” I finally asked.

Uncle Toby removed his spectacles, rubbed his eyes with one hand, then put the spectacles back in place. “He says no.”

Hope dashed, stomach churning, I reached for the letter. “He said no?”

Uncle handed the paper to me, and I scanned the lines, reading aloud. “… flattered that she envisions herself… however… gently bred… certain she will make a fortunate gentleman a caring wife… sail tomorrow… wish you both God’s blessings… your generous contribution will not go un-rewarded…”

Dazed, I let the paper fall to my lap. This rejection was far worse than David Ransom’s. Or Catherine’s, for that matter.

“I am sorry, Isabella. Surely it is for the best.”

I glanced up. Uncle Toby’s eyes were filled with sadness. Did he mourn my loss or his own?

“This belongs to you,” I said, handing him the letter. Half of the broken seal pulled away from the paper and dropped to the rug. When I bent to retrieve it, I saw it was the half with the top of the cross. I clutched it in my palm to dispose of later.

Uncle Toby peered at me. “It is for the best, Isabella,” he said again. “Do you understand that?”

I nodded woodenly, unable to speak. Perhaps later I would comprehend what he said, but at that moment only shock and disbelief were my companions. I had been so certain of Snowe’s answer, so certain of God’s call…

Uncle accepted my farewell, seeming to understand that I needed time alone. I contemplated seeking Signor Antonio. It would feel good to have a sword in my hand and an obstacle that I could face. Then I remembered that I would have any number of days to practice my fencing and decided instead on a long walk to think matters through.

“Where are you going?” Flora met me at the door.

“I need a walk. Phineas Snowe has refused my request.”

“Has he?” I could tell Flora was trying her best to keep the joy from her expression, but she was not wholly successful.

I headed for the rack and grabbed my pelisse. “I’ll go with you, Isabella,” Flora said, retrieving hers, as well.

“I need to be alone, please.”

Flora set her mouth. “Wounded heart or not, you cannot leave this house unattended. I pledge to walk beside you as quiet as a mouse.”

I could not help smiling in spite of myself. “A mouse who will try her best to give me counsel.”

Flora placed my bonnet on my head and tied the ribbon under my chin, as she had done when I was a girl. “You have always sought my advice,” she said calmly. “Would you cease now, even when you are in such haste to leave me forever?”

I thought about her words as we headed outside. We passed through the quad and Tom Tower, the college’s main entrance at St. Aldate’s Street. A light wind blew, and I wrapped my pelisse closer. Flora and I locked arms, and we headed down the street-toward what, I did not know. They had paved the streets at Oxford when I was a baby, and some said they were as fine as any of the best in London. Not that I traveled even so short a distance with great frequency!

Oxford is a university-and town-with unique architecture. Many of the buildings have spires that reach skyward, nay, toward the heaven of God himself. I longed to raise my arms in mutual supplication. Why was I not chosen to do your work?

As we walked together, silent, I thought long and hard. Flora had often called me impulsive, but my destiny, I was certain, lay in the Far East. Surely this was only a test of my resolve to answer God’s calling. Did he not challenge his children in the Bible? If I were to accomplish my task, however, I would have to evade Flora. She was loyal to a fault, but she would not, I feared, hesitate to alert Uncle Toby if she felt my plans endangered my life. I would have to strike a balance between telling the truth and withholding pertinent points of my plan. It was not exactly lying, I reasoned. Merely omitting some of what Flora might perceive to be an unpleasant truth.

“I do not want to leave you or Uncle Toby,” I said at last. I gestured at the buildings of the university as we passed. “But look around us, Flora. What are behind these walls but men striving to learn?”

“Is that not a noble cause?”

“For men, yes. For me, nothing. I believe God wants me to commit myself to a life of service.”

“Then why not here in Oxford? There are plenty in want of Christian charity. We saw them yesterday.”

“That is true, but I feel called to China. After looking at the Gospel According to St. Luke that Mr. Snowe gave me, I felt a peculiar kinship with the strange marks. I have already learned Greek and Hebrew and several other languages. I feel that I could conquer Chinese as well. Surely they need a woman’s touch in that heathen land.”

“Like Miss Whipple, the lady in Mr. Snowe’s group yesterday,” Flora allowed.

I nodded. “Yes! And when I inquired, she admitted that she does not speak Chinese. Miss Whipple stared at me as though such thought were folly.” I stopped short in the street. “God has given me a brain, Flora. I am certain that he wants me to use it. Did he not give me three instances of China-the slippers, the Gospel, and the tea?”

“The tea, I believe, was mere coincidence.”

“I do not believe it was. Nonetheless, I am determined. I must speak to Mr. Snowe myself.”

“If he still refuses your entreaty-”

“He won’t,” I said firmly. “I intend to meet him at dockside tomorrow.”

“Miss Isabella, no! That is no place for a young lady.”

“That is why you are going with me,” I said. “I knew that if you would not allow me on a walk by myself that you would certainly not allow me to speak to Mr. Snowe alone. Though heaven knows I should be perfectly safe from him,” I added, mostly to myself.

“You want me to go with you?”

“You said yourself that I could not go alone.”

Flora raised one eyebrow. “You are only going to talk to him?”

“I would go today, but I do not know where he is lodging. I am sure to find him at the docks tomorrow.”

Now it was Flora’s turn to stop dead in the street. “You know that there are no docks in Oxford. He is leaving from London. No doubt he is already there.”