Andy McNab - Dark winter

He pushed his cup gently to one side and leaned forward. 'I need to keep her while you do something for me. It is a very simple task. You will go to Berlin, collect five bottles of wine and deliver them to me tomorrow night.'

Aggression wouldn't help her, but a bit of it would help me. 'Why can't one of your fuckers go and get them?'

'Because life is difficult now for dark or slant-eyed men trying to bring duty-free into this country – I'm sure you understand why.'

'How do I know she's OK? How do I know I'll get her back alive?'

'You don't. But what choice do you have? It is a very simple task, and therefore a very simple threat. If you betray me or fail to deliver, you will learn what it's like to see your child killed like an animal.'

He kept his eyes fixed on mine as he pulled a creased white envelope from his pocket. 'Tell them you've been sent from London. They're expecting you.'

He tapped the envelope with his right forefinger. 'Call me once you are back. I have a new number, just for you. Just make sure I have those bottles before two a.m. Tuesday morning.'

'To give you time to prepare the fourth bag before the morning rush-hour?'

'Ah, you understand.'

I took the envelope. 'Berlin been cancelled? Just the US now, unless I give you some help?'

His smile told me I was right. 'My brothers in Berlin are experiencing a problem that means their martyrdom will prove swifter and less glorious than they had planned. They are disappointed, of course, but will experience Paradise all the same. And there are still nearly three million journeys a day taken on your tube system. A target worth the effort. As I'm sure you can appreciate.' His bloodshot eyes narrowed. 'Let me ask you something. How did you find out about King's Cross? Did you meet Yasmeen?'

I said nothing and drank my brew.

He nodded slowly, his lips pursed. He was angry. 'I warned them I'd be telling you people about the house once they had left.'

'So that you could continue to be best mates with my boss?'

'It was important to sustain my credibility, and keep your eyes away from what was really about to happen.' He sighed. 'Poor Yasmeen. So intelligent, so dedicated, but so unthinking in some areas. I told them to write their messages before leaving, though I do not approve of such gestures myself. Actions speak louder than words, do you not agree?'

I did, and wanted to give him a demonstration this very minute.

He took another sip and smiled. The fucker was actually enjoying this. 'They feel they have to do it, because you people know nothing. The West is all about the here and now, it is all about nine/eleven. Up there, on the walls, Yasmeen and her brothers and sister talk about things that happened in the fifteenth century, but you don't have a clue what they're talking about, do you?'

I looked away. This wasn't getting us anywhere. It certainly wasn't getting me any closer to Kelly.

'We're all on a journey, and I am near the end of mine. We in JI are the architects of a new world. You people are still in the old, lovers of the Jews and the US. You still want to control Asia. The only way to stop you is with jihad, the Holy War. And so Bali, and now this.'

'Why are you fucking about? Why didn't you just warn them we were coming to King's Cross? You knew what was going to happen, you gave them up. Why are you playing these fucking games?'

He interlocked his large brown hands and rested his forearms on the table. 'I never play games. I have kept up this pretence for you people because you have threatened my family. I have two sons and I have been made to do things I would never have dreamed of to keep them safe.'

He waited for some kind of acknowledgement, but I didn't have any to spare.

'But now that you and your woman have discovered my brothers and sisters before they could carry out their operation, I must do it myself. It wasn't a difficult choice to make. You see, I could have warned them, and of course they would have escaped. But what would have happened then? What action would have been taken? Close the system down, heighten the state of alert? You see, they had to die once you had discovered where they were. I simply took a bag from them before you arrived. They knew nothing then, but now they are in Paradise and understand the reason for their sacrifice. God understands what I have done to carry on the fight, and that my family will be killed by you people.'

His right index finger straightened and pointed at me. His eyes were fixed on mine. His voice had become very calm. 'That is the reason we will win, and you will lose. You are all about now, wanting to live, wanting your child to live above all things, and that is what makes you weak. That is because you have no understanding of what lies beyond this world.'

He was right about life, but wrong about winning.

He got to his feet. 'I will not detain you any longer.'

He turned and departed without another word, leaving me to gaze at his back, and then at the envelope on the table.

I pulled up the flap. It contained a Polaroid head and shoulders of Kelly in her Old Navy T-shirt, hair glued to her face with dried tears. I could only just make out her red and swollen eyes. Her head was resting against a TV showing BBC 24. There were several glass and brass religious ornaments lined up along the top of the cabinet.

The time bar in the corner of the screen said 8:47 and today's date. I'd been watching this programme at exactly the same time her picture was taken. I turned it over. Handwritten in felt pen were his cell number and an address: Apartment 27, 22 Bergmannstrasse.

I sat where I was, nursing my coffee as the boys big-timed it and the girls laughed and kidded about. My mind was spinning. How had he known where Kelly was? Grey and Navy must have followed us back to the safe flat, then tracked me, Jimmy and Carmen back to the bungalow.

It was pointless rushing around or going ballistic. The first thing to do in these situations is accept that you're in the shit. Stop, take a deep breath, get yourself into some kind of order, then work out what to do. Flapping wouldn't help me to sort out this nightmare, so it wouldn't help her either. I took a mouthful of brew, deliberately slowing myself down.

Did this still have to be done without any help from the Yes Man, now that it seemed everything was OK in the state of Spookdom? My legs had stopped bobbing about. I had no energy to waste now: my head needed to suck up everything it could get.

Fuck worrying about whether the Yes Man could help. Of course he could, but I wasn't going to ask him and risk a fuck-up as he sacrificed Kelly to get DW and the source.

I needed to stay focused on what to do next, but I couldn't. I looked at the Polaroid again. Not knowing what was happening to her, that was the worst feeling of all. I thought about her being scared, hungry, thirsty, maybe tied up after the picture was taken and dumped somewhere dark and derelict. That strange thudding pain came back in the centre of my chest. As the teenagers discussed where to go clubbing tonight, I stroked her frightened face with the tip of my thumb.

I went to take another gulp of the brew but realized the cup was empty. I put away the picture and pulled over the source's from across the table. I had no option: delivering the bottles was my only chance of making contact with Kelly. The best way to help her was to get myself over there and do what was required of me – then work out what the fuck to do after that.

I put the cup back down on the table. All I knew for sure was that I had an address to go to in Berlin, stuff to pick up, and a cell number to call once I got back. All right, I could do that. I could bring DW into the country. The real problems would arise when I tried to lift Kelly and make sure that shit didn't get chucked about the Underground. If I fucked up, we'd both be dead.