Andy McNab: Zero hour

I hesitated, but only because I'd just realized the answer to his question. 'Your DNA experiment did me a favour. It put me through a moral carwash. I wanted to sleep at night, particularly since I didn't have that many of them left.'

He didn't miss a beat. 'And having gone through this moral-fucking-carwash, I take it that you will not be serving your country again?'

'Correct. I'll leave it in your capable hands.'

'Do not underestimate me. If my operation against her father doesn't succeed because of you, I will retaliate.'

It was my turn to lean forward.

'No, you won't. I'll keep my end of the deal, but I have everything documented, and it's sitting on a cloud. Everything – and I mean everything – will be there for anyone to download should anything happen to me, Kleinmann or the girls. So get on with your Tarasov stunt, but be quick about it. Lilian is pretty angry with her dad right now, but she might want to go home on day fifteen. Who knows? And by then that fucking cloud will contain a few more goodies – including this meeting.

'You'll deny it, of course. But everyone in our world knows there's no smoke without fire.'

If I had got to him, he didn't show it.

'Will that be all, Mr Stone? I need to get on with my life now. I want to go home – and I'm sure you want to do the same.'

Jules shook his head in disbelief. 'And you just let me stumble around in the dark?'

Tresillian stood and brushed a loose thread off his sleeve. 'There were certain things you simply did not need to know. If you ever get to sit in this chair, you can decide who knows what. Until that day, I will.'

It wasn't the answer Jules was after. He controlled his anger, but only just. 'You had me put my friend's life at risk. You were going to have him killed, for Christ's sake.'

Tresillian sat and stared. His voice was low and even. 'Julian, man up. What do you think we do for a living?'

I stood as well, to relieve the pain in my arse wounds. 'I know I'm pond life, on the shit side of the fence, but isn't Jules supposed to be one of yours?'

Tresillian chuckled. 'Well, Julian, what side of the fence are you on?'

Julian stayed put, his eyes fixed on the tabletop.

I turned and went outside. The smaller of the two heavies greeted me with a smile. 'We'll escort you to the station, sir. The first train to London on a Monday morning is in about six hours.'

Wednesday, 14 June 11.15 hrs It wasn't supposed to be this way, but this time I didn't give a shit.

I leant against the triple-glazed floor-to-ceiling windows of the penthouse apartment and looked out over the river. But the view from the flat I'd rented was over the Moskva, not the Thames. To the right was the Borodinsky Bridge, and behind that the Russian Federation's government buildings. It was a great place for me to do much the same as I'd done in London a few weeks ago – just sit and gaze out at the city, especially at night.

Anna had been right. Moscow had looked great in the spring, and looked even better now in early summer. I must have walked in every one of the city's ninety-six parks. Of course, Gorky Park had been the first. It was the only one I'd heard of. Then I discovered there was more green stuff here than in New York, and New York had more of it than London. It almost made me glad I'd left.

As the days got longer and warmer, Anna and I had headed for Serebryany Bor, an island just a trolleybus ride away. It could be walked at any time of day, but it was especially great in the evening when the late-setting sun bathed the dachas, woods and river. I checked out the spring buds and flowers, kids on bikes with stabilizers, all the normal shit that now made sense to me. These were people who were getting on with their lives. I was getting on with mine too. It was all right. It wasn't as if I jumped up every morning and ran outside to kiss the flowers and hug the trees, but I'd been taking the time to stand and stare. For a week or two, anyway. Then I'd started to get itchy feet.

The sound of a plate smashing echoed round the open space. I turned to see Lily steaming with frustration. 'For fuck's sake!'

I pointed at her, bollocking style. 'Oi, less of that!'

It was just about the only new bit of English Lily had learnt, and it had become her catchphrase.

Anna had taken her to Dresden. They'd stayed with some Romanians she knew. I'd kept well out of the way, in case Tresillian reneged on his side of the deal.

When the two weeks were up, Lily decided not to go back to Moldova. She contacted her father and apologized. She couldn't agree with his views but she understood them. She wanted to stay in Moscow and continue her degree at Moscow State when the new academic year started.

It was like a refugee camp in here sometimes, with Anna's mates bringing her girls they'd rescued from the meat markets and Mafia nightclubs in the city. Anna then turned them over to the Lenas of this world.

It wasn't all about saving the world and appreciating the green stuff. Anna and I had been hitting the galleries and museums. My favourite was the Tretyakov. I found myself getting well into Russian icons.

The doorbell rang. 'For fuck's sake!'

I walked towards her. 'I'm warning you!'

Anna checked her watch as she came out of the bedroom. 'He's early. You said he'd be here at five.'

I flicked the kettle on.

She opened the door. Jules stood there with a black wheelie, his face once more a vision of perfection.

They kissed and she ushered him in.

I'd said no at first to a meeting. He'd made his choice. I'd made mine. Lesson learnt. But Anna was right. If he wanted to come over, fuck it, he could.

Jules stared at me from the hallway. He held out a hand. 'Hello, Nick.'

He looked apprehensive, but he needn't have. I didn't care that he knew where we were, or even if Tresillian did. Anna had written up her version of what had happened, and together with mine and Lily's, it was floating on the Apple MobileMe cloud, ready to be discovered as soon as any of us had a drama.

Anna took his wheelie and rested it against the cloakroom door. He wasn't staying.

I went and shook his hand. 'Tresillian sorted?'

He nodded. 'It all worked.' He glanced at Lily as she made the brews. 'Our Moldovan friend came on board.'

Lily came out of the kitchen area. She walked up to him with a smile and an outstretched hand. 'Hello, my name is Lilian. Nick says you're staying in the city for a couple of days?'

Jules looked a bit uncomfortable. 'Yes, I've got something I want to talk to Nick and Anna about.'

Lily got it. 'I've made the tea. It's British, not Russian.' She turned to Anna. 'OK if I go?' She'd made some friends in the building.

The tea was weak and shit. I turned on the Nespresso machine. Julian and I sat at the black marble breakfast bar but Anna remained standing. She tapped Jules's hand. 'What is it you've come to talk to us about?'

I dropped a capsule into the machine and sparked it up.

'I've resigned.'

Anna's jaw dropped.

'A month ago.' Jules turned to me. 'Remember what you said about a carwash?'

I pushed him a brew. Things went quiet for a while. I didn't know what to say.

Anna tugged her cigarettes out of her jeans. I pointed to the balcony. There's no smoke without fire.