Andy McNab - War torn

Streaky shook his head.

'If you had, you'd have noticed that he was thinking before he fired. When the rounds closed in he assessed where the Taliban firing points were. He didn't just poke his weapon out from behind the Vector and send as much fire up the track as fast as he could. He didn't try to turn an SA80 into a machine gun, Bacon.'

Streaky hung his head.

'Well, I killed one guy,' he said stubbornly.

'Maybe one of the fifty rounds you threw at him did hit him. Or maybe the woman sergeant from the Intelligence Corps got him in three. We'll never know. But I do know that I saw you refilling your magazines when you'd used up all your ammo.'

Bacon blinked at him.

'What should you do, Bacon?' asked Dave. 'When you're using up ammo fast, when should you refill? Should you wait until it's all gone, then refill?'

'Erm…'

'When three magazines are empty, change. Wait for a quiet period or pull back for a few minutes and change. Don't wait until you're clean out. Because you never, ever, ever want to find yourself out there with a weapon and no ammo.'

'Oh, yeah,' Bacon said. 'We did that in training.'

'Glad your training didn't desert you completely. But in training guys sit behind you and remind you. This was a real fire fight with a real enemy and we were all too fucking busy to sit behind you. And if we'd been overrun and you'd ended up defending yourself, you wouldn't have had the ammo to do it with. Now let me ask you another. What did you do with your empty magazines?'

Streaky grimaced.

Dave told him the answer: 'You dropped them on the ground. And let other people pick them up for you. Like your mum goes into your bedroom and picks your clothes up off the floor. But you're not at home, now, Bacon, your mum's not here to clear up after you and you pick up your own fucking magazines, got it?'

'Yes, Sarge.'

'So let's run over those points again, Bacon. One: drink more. I don't want to see you coming home to base with a half-full Camelbak again. Two: fire less. Don't waste ammo, choose your target. And don't wait until you're clean out to get more. Three: clear up your own fucking magazines.'

Bacon hung his head and nodded.

'I have to tell you this to make a good soldier of you.' Dave's tone softened. 'That way you stay safe. And so do your mates.'

Bacon didn't look up.

'You're on shit jobs with Binns for a week. Now get something to eat.'

Bacon stood up. His face was sullen and angry. His rolling, swaggering walk had a touch of insolence about it. This lad did not take criticism well, even necessary and practical criticism. But it crossed Dave's mind that he had gripped Streaky Bacon a bit hard tonight. Maybe he should have congratulated him on killing one Taliban fighter and for keeping his nerve in an unnerving first ambush, especially when his mate was falling to pieces.

'Poor bastard, it was his first time.'

Dave had forgotten he was not alone. He turned towards Jamie but whatever snippets of the conversation he'd heard, it seemed he had fallen back into a medicated sleep again.

'Shut up, Dermott, or I'll have you casevaced,' he said affectionately, thinking that Jamie was right and he was wrong but there was almost no one else in the platoon who was allowed to tell him so.

He got up. He didn't regret a word he'd said to Streaky. But he was beginning to regret the words he hadn't said. CSM Kila sat with Dave and the other platoon sergeants in the cookhouse. Sergeant Barnes of 3 Platoon had spent the day with the civilians.

'That fucking woman professor…'

'What! Emily? The sex grenade? Ventured out of her isobox?'

'Emily. The pain in the arse. Ventured all over the fucking shop. And if you thought Martyn Robertson was difficult, you try working with her. She wants to go where she likes when she likes and sod everyone else. Picks up her shopping bag and marches off as if she's just on her way to market and doesn't want to miss a bargain.'

'Apparently,' Kila said, 'she has one of the finest geophysical brains in England.'

'Yeah, well, the finest geophysical brain in England could get splattered all over Helmand if she doesn't use it more. I said: "Professor, have you noticed that we soldiers generally move around in platoons? That's about thirty soldiers, Professor. Well that's to keep us safe. If you wander off like that then you could become an enemy target, Professor."'

'What did she say?'

'She says: "I have no enemies, Corporal." I say: "Professor, I am in fact a sergeant." She says: "Army ranks are of no interest to me because I am not fighting a war. I am carrying out an analysis of Afghanistan's natural resources."'

'Fucking hell,' Dave said.

'Fucking hell,' the other sergeants agreed.

'The finest geophysical brain in England and not one ounce of common sense,' Dave said.

He told the others about today's ambush.

'And this evening my head's caning and so's everyone else's, the medic gave us all something. It's got to be because we were so close to the explosion.'

'You were bloody nearly in the fucking explosion,' Sergeant Somers of 2 Platoon said.

'We should never have been sent on that route without manpower. They had us pinned down and we didn't have the men or the fire to keep them back much longer.'

Kila promised he'd talk to Major Willingham again about unnecessary risks.

When the other two sergeants had gone, Kila leaned forward and said quietly: 'There's a rumour going round about you, Dave.'

Dave raised his eyebrows and tried to think what that rumour could be.

'That you're leaving the army.'

Dave stared at him. The CSM stared right back.

'Where the hell did you hear that?'

'From Wiltshire.'

'Wiltshire!' Then Dave realized. 'Oh, someone's been talking to Jenny. But what the hell has she been saying?'

'She told Steve Buckle's wife who told someone who told someone who told… well, I don't know who. Anyway, people are talking about it.'

Dave felt angry with Jenny. She had started a rumour which had clearly slipped beyond the circle of gossiping wives to the NCOs. It couldn't have come to Iain Kila through his wife because, although he'd already had three, he didn't have one at the moment.

'Jenny's thinking of me leaving the army,' Dave said. 'I'm not.'

Kila looked sympathetic. 'They all go through that one.'

'Well the baby's due soon. And Jenny spends a lot of time with Leanne Buckle…'

'How's Steve, then?'

'Haven't heard yet. Leanne's with him in Selly Oak. What happened to Steve certainly scared Jen, though. She's only started this stuff about leaving the army since Steve's accident.'

Kila shrugged. 'You were a soldier when you married her, weren't you?

'Yeah. She knew what she was letting herself in for. But when I remind her about that she says it makes no difference. And today I got this long letter begging me to leave. And there's a letter from her mother I haven't even opened which probably says the same thing.'

'Just ignore it.'

'You don't know Jen. She's like a dog with a bone once she gets an idea into her head.' Actually, Jenny's determination was one of the things Dave loved about her. Unless she was determined to make him do something.

'Then string her along. Aren't you doing a degree course through the army?'

Dave laughed. The classes he'd attended and the coursework he'd finished seemed far away and trivial, like a game he used to play.

'Engineering,' he said. 'I work on it when we're not operational or away training. So that's not very often.'

'Well,' Kila said, 'when do you expect to finish?'

'It'll take years and years at this rate.'

'So tell her you'll leave when you've got your degree.'

Dave chuckled. 'Good idea, Iain! She'll have to agree it'll improve my job prospects.'