Barry Eisler - Inside out

"There were two more," Ben said, when the laughter had faded. "After you left."

"Who?"

"Ground Branch, supposedly. But I don't think they were there for you. They were setting up for a hit-on an FBI agent who's been investigating this thing, or on me, or on both of us. I didn't have time to clarify all the details."

"Yeah, the Agency wouldn't want anyone else to get the tapes. You dropped them?"

"Yeah."

"Good for you."

They drove in silence for a minute. Ben said, "You miss it?"

"The unit?"

"Yeah."

"Why would I miss being lied to and used and manipulated? And set up and discarded, when they were through with me?"

"So you miss it."

They both laughed again.

Ben said, "Why'd you do it?"

"Take the tapes?"

"And everything else."

"Long story."

"Well, we're just driving along. Shooting the shit."

Larison chuckled. "I saw what they were going to do to me. I did it to them first."

"Sound tactics."

"I wish there'd been another way. But they didn't give me a choice."

"You said people always have choices."

Larison checked the surroundings again. Ben had been doing the same. Normal traffic, no apparent tails.

"I guess I did. All right, maybe it was my fault. Maybe I was the one who foreclosed all the choices. Maybe I was stupid along the way to get in that position, to get in so deep I couldn't find my way back, only out."

Ben wanted to ask more, but Larison seemed to be getting agitated, and generally speaking, Ben preferred not to agitate proven deadly people carrying HKs in the passenger seat next to him.

"You want to know something?" Larison said. "I like you. You remind me of me. When I was young and stupid."

"I don't know, man. You're the one who's got the whole U.S. government for an enemy now. How smart is that?"

"You think Uncle Sam's your friend, is that it? You think your loyalty is a two-way street?"

Ben thought about Obsidian, about what Hort had done. "Not exactly, but-"

"You don't even know what this is about, do you?"

"What, the tapes?"

"It's what's on the tapes."

"You mean the interrogations. Torture."

Larison shook his head. "Hort hasn't told you, then. No, of course he hasn't. Likes to keep people in the dark. 'Need to know' and all that."

"Hasn't told me what?"

"You really want to know?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about."

"Because only a few people in the world know. And you've seen what they're willing to do to prevent anyone else from finding out. You really want that knowledge? You really want people suspecting you have it?"

It was weird. Not so long ago, he honestly wouldn't have cared. He might even have thought Larison was trying to distract him with irrelevancies.

But now… he did want to know. He wanted to know what all these people had died for.

"Tell me," he said.

"All right. But tell me something first."

"If I can."

"How'd you track me to Costa Rica?"

Ben hesitated. And decided he couldn't imagine Larison retaliating against Marcy, or doing anything else that would hurt his own son.

"Your wife. Or ex-wife. She suspected you were having an affair. Hired a private investigator."

Larison was silent for a long moment. Then he said, "I'll be damned. Marcy… I never saw that coming. You know, you look everywhere for the possible threat, and you miss the one right under your nose. Damn. So that's it. Those two guys in San Jose-"

"Working for the PI."

"I checked them out after the fact. They had records. So I figured it was just random street crime."

Ben nodded. "It made sense. You had no way of knowing."

"Well, you figured it out. What, did you interview Marcy?"

"I did."

"And she put you in touch with the PI…"

"Right."

They were quiet for a moment, and Ben knew Larison was reviewing everything, analyzing events through clarified hindsight, piecing it all together, understanding step-by-step how Ben had gotten to him.

"Marcy," he said, shaking his head. "Should've seen that coming."

Ben didn't like the direction that comment might lead in. "If you think about it, it actually worked out pretty well."

"How?"

"If the government didn't have something on you, they wouldn't have trusted you with the money. They would have just kept coming at you until they got you or killed you or the tapes were released. But the way it is, now that they know about your… connection in Costa Rica, Hort was able to persuade them. He called it mutual assured destruction."

There was a pause. Larison said, "Hort has a point. As usual."

"Don't you even want to know how your wife is? And your son?"

"He's not my son."

"So then… so your wife…"

"You mean, did she know about me?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. I would have said no. But I also would have said no if you'd asked if she might have hired a PI to follow me."

"I'm sorry, man."

"Don't be. I can't blame Marcy. I was living a lie, and she was bearing the brunt of it. In the end, we're all only human."

Ben nodded, reassessing what he thought he'd known, wondering about Marcy.

"All right, I told you. Now you tell me. What's this all about?"

There was a long pause. Larison said, "The Caspers."

"Caspers?"

"Ask Hort. Ask him about Ecologia."

"What does-"

"And if Hort won't tell you, ask David Ulrich."

"Who?"

"The former vice president's chief of staff. According to U.S. News amp; World Report, 'The Most Powerful Man You've Never Heard Of.' Or 'The Hidden Power,' is how the New Yorker put it. Currently a K Street lobbyist, naturally. He knows even more than Hort. He knows everything. And hasn't suffered from any of it. I was going to make him suffer. But now my hands are tied."

"The Caspers. Ecologia."

"Yes. That's what's really going on here. That's what's really got everybody's panties in a wad."

"I don't know what those things are. You're not telling me anything."

"I'm giving you the tools to find out. Who do you think you're really working for? King and country, or just the king?"

"What does-"

"You have to be careful now. What do you think will happen after you've done what they asked of you, and they decide you're some kind of threat?"

"I'm not a threat."

"Maybe not before, but you are now. Because of what I told you. Just wanting information makes you a threat. You want to know how they'll hang you out to dry before they hang you literally? I've seen it done. I don't even know you, and I can tell you how they'll set you up before they knock you down."

Ben wanted to believe Larison was just bullshitting him, but somehow… it didn't feel like bullshit.

"Here," Larison said, "I'll tell you first what Hort told you about me. I'm a psycho case, right? Anger management. Combat stress. Steroid abuse. Did he tell you I'm gay?"

"He didn't."

"Then he was hoping you'd find out for yourself. Conclusions you come to yourself are more persuasive. Didn't they teach you that at the Farm?"

"I don't think he knew."

"He knew. If he didn't tell you, it's only because he knew you'd find out some other way."

"I don't see what that even has to do with it."

"No? You're going to honestly tell me it doesn't make me suspect? Alien? A freak? You need all that, if you're going to hunt someone. Hort was just providing it. Probably doesn't even think of it as deception, or even as manipulation. He's just giving you the tools you need to carry out a job. You think anyone we ever tortured and killed in the big, bad war on terror was white and Christian? It doesn't work that way. You can't do that shit to your own kind. They have to be turned into the Other first. Dehumanized. You and I… we're like prisoners being set against each other by the guards. If you can't see that, you're nothing but a tool."