Russell Andrews - Hades

Damn her.

Damn them.

Damn, damn, damn them all.

He didn't let her in. At least not immediately. Justin went into town to get Chinese food and insisted she come with him. He didn't say it, but he didn't want Regina Bokkenheuser to stay alone in his house. Even for the twenty minutes it took him to get some fried rice and sesame chicken and cold noodles with sesame sauce. Even if it had taken one minute. He didn't know what she would do. What she might look for, what she might plant.

They didn't say one word while they were in the car or while they waited in the small take-out place for the food to be prepared. He wasn't ready to speak yet, and she followed his lead. His silence was fueled by anger. Hers was more placid-it was just a reaction to his, and it annoyed him even more that she knew him well enough to wait for his mood to change rather than challenge it.

When they returned to his house he set the food-dropping it, still in the brown paper bag-on the small dining table that sat in his living room. He went into the kitchen and when he returned with two bottles of beer she had already removed the food cartons from the bag and placed them on the table. He put one beer on the table in front of her.

"Thanks for remembering," she said.

"Fuck you," Justin said.

"Well," Reggie said, "at least we're talking."

He turned and went back into the kitchen, emerging moments later with silverware and two plates. He put the plates on the table and served himself some food. He made no effort to serve Reggie, just pushed the white cartons closer to her.

They ate slowly and silently. She was halfway through the food on her plate when she looked up and said, "Are you ready yet?"

"For what?"

"For a conversation."

"No," he said. Then, putting his fork down, he said, "I thought you were in prison."

She shook her head. "No."

"How is that possible?"

"I told you, Jay, or I tried to tell you, you just wanted to see me in jail so bad you wouldn't listen to me."

"You belonged in jail."

"I was doing my job."

"Nice job. Killing an innocent man."

She winced. "Yes. Something I'll have to live with the rest of my life. And it won't be easy. But I thought I was doing it for national security reasons. I thought the orders were coming all the way from the White House. I was lied to, and I have to stay awake at night knowing I believed the lies. I was manipulated, and maybe I was stupid, but I did what I was trained to do and what I hope I could do again if I had to for the right reasons."

Justin didn't say anything, even when Reggie said, "You've killed people before. People who didn't deserve to die." And when he looked up sharply, ready to respond in anger, she said, "You think we don't know what happened to Lieutenant Colonel Warren Grimble, military intelligence?"

Justin went silent for a moment. Grimble had been the man in charge of his interrogation at Gitmo. Justin had managed to learn his identity. And then he'd done more than that. He was too weak to act himself, so he hired Bruno to do the job. Lieutenant Warren Grimble had disappeared. Justin knew that the disappearance was permanent. Bruno was good at his job.

"He was not what I'd call an innocent man," he said.

"Maybe. But what he did to you, he was doing because he thought it was the right thing to do, because he was under orders to do it."

"No," Justin said quietly. "There are no orders that would cover what he did to me."

"Jay," Reggie said, just as quietly and just as urgently, "after you arrested me, the FBI got me released from custody almost immediately. It wasn't even a question. The slate was wiped clean. The fact is, they examined what happened as thoroughly as it was possible to examine a case. I don't have to tell you what the ramifications were after everything that occurred. They thought I did a good enough job that not only was I exonerated, they assigned me to New York. That's where I've been the last year."

"You did a good job," he said. "I'd never deny that. You did one helluva job."

"I saved your life," she said. "Or are you forgetting that?"

"I haven't forgotten anything."

"I wanted to come see you," she told him. "Almost every day for the past year, that's pretty much all I thought about. But I knew you wouldn't want to see me or hear anything I had to say."

"You're right on that one."

"I asked for this assignment. I want you to know that. When word came down, I asked for it."

"And they gave it to you?"

"Sometimes God works in mysterious ways."

"I don't believe in God."

"Neither do I. So I guess it's the FBI that's pretty mysterious." Reggie finished off the bottle of beer in front of her and said, "I wanted this job because I care about you. No matter what you think of what I did or what you think of me, I care about you. And I think I owe you something. I'd like to make it up to you-what I did and what happened."

"All of a sudden I've got a lot of people trying to make things up to me."

"I know. That's one of the reasons why they agreed to send me here."

"I'm not following."

"The people I work for aren't as dumb as you like to think they are. They can be pretty insightful. And pretty manipulative."

"I still don't follow."

"They think you'll trust me."

He just laughed. A quick, harsh burst of a laugh.

"Because of what happened to Wanda. And with us. Because of what happened… what's happened in your past. They think you'll trust me because you'll want to trust me. And maybe want to help me and protect me."

"Out of guilt?"

"I said they can be smart and manipulative."

"And what do you think, Reggie? Do you think I'm going to go along with this because I feel guilty about other women in my life?"

She did her best to draw on her lopsided smile. "I'm hoping you'll go along with it because of my natural charm." And when he said nothing, didn't change expression, just stared at her with that hard stare of his, she said, "Then how about the fact that I've already called Larry Silverbush and told him that you're working with me and that we expect him to give you his full cooperation?"

"Full cooperation with someone he's looking at as part of his murder investigation?"

"Not anymore. I told him we've cleared you of any involvement."

"And is that true?"

"The 'we' part probably isn't. But I'm the agent in charge now, so it's my call. And I don't think you're involved in any way."

"Why not?"

"I don't think you'd kill anyone or anything because of a woman. Hell, I know you were falling for me just a little bit… and you tried to send me to prison."

"What is it you don't think I'm capable of? Falling in love or killing someone out of love?"

"I don't know, Jay. I didn't get to know you well enough to make that call."

She closed her eyes once, opened them quickly, did it again. He remembered that she did that-batted her long lashes and widened her already large, round, blue eyes. She thought it made her look irresistible. The thing of it was, it did make her look pretty goddamn irresistible.

Justin swatted at the plate of food in front of him and sent it flying off the table. When she jumped, he anticipated her move, reached out, and grabbed her by her collar, pulling her closer to him over the table.

"Reggie, let's get a few things straight." His voice was low and ragged. "I don't trust you. I doubt that I ever will. And I won't be charmed by you, no matter how many times you blink those blue eyes at me. I don't feel guilty, and even if I did, it wouldn't make one fucking bit of difference. And I'm sure as hell not going to sleep with you or fall in love with you, not even a little bit."

She didn't look frightened or even surprised at his outburst. She just gave him that lopsided smile. "But you'll work with me?" she said.