S Rozan - Absent Friends

No one spoke about it; it was possible, it occurred to Phil as he shaved, that he was the only one who thought about it.

What caused the change?

The same thing that made the players who came early to the first game after the attacks hold off starting for nearly half an hour, in case other people were coming but were late, delayed by the erratic subways or by having to show their ID to the National Guardsmen on the corner.

The same thing that made all fourteen players show up that day, something that almost never happened. (Even Arnie had come, though his brother was still missing, later declared dead with no body found; Phil went to the service.)

The fresh breeze of relief that had swept the gym every time a player pushed through the swinging doors that day had flashed Phil back to his childhood, to his Bronx neighborhood, to after-school detours to the newsstand for comic books and Cokes.

In the shadow of the El women with their wheeled wire carts stopped for gossip. Old men shuffled by, dangling loaves of bread and quarts of milk in plastic bags. Eleven-year-old Phil Constantine (Konnenstein in the old country, four generations back; Phil had cousins called Conner) was on a mission for the new Spider-Man, hoping maybe for the Fantastic Four, though that was probably not out until tomorrow. He headed up this way a couple of times a month: he'd worked out the Marvel schedule, and DC, too, he knew just when to expect his books.

He knew this, too: Sometimes when you got to the newsstand, the Irish kids from St. Margaret's would be hanging out on the corner. Sometimes if they were, all they did was look at you with stony eyes; but sometimes they wanted more. If they did, you had to fight them. Had to. Because if you didn't take it up there, in public, on the sidewalk, they'd wait for you on the ballfield at dusk, or on the corner where the construction site was: somewhere lonely, where no one would see and no adults were near to break it up.

Phil understood early that that was the point: on the sidewalk, where adults could see and stop you, no one won and no one lost. The St. Margaret's boys could throw down the challenge, could stand proud that they'd defended their territory, could claim they'd have murdered you, pulverized you, little kike bastard, if only old man Murray hadn't come out swinging his baseball bat, hadn't threatened to call the cops. They could do this safe in the knowledge that old man Murray would come out, or Mrs. Harper, or that old crock Lefkowitz with his bloodied butcher's apron. That someone would stop them before they had to find out how far they were really willing to go.

Phil understood that. And this: old man Murray's newsstand wasn't the only place to buy comic books. You could walk way up Broadway, twenty minutes out of the neighborhood, where the St. Margaret's boys didn't care if you went or not. You could jump on the El, ride downtown a few stops, pick up your books in the subway newsstand at 168th, and come back on the same token. You had choices. Going to Murray's, Phil was making his.

So when he had to, Phil fought those boys.

And as great as the relief was that enveloped him anytime he rounded the corner and saw the sidewalk empty, he never once considered not heading to old man Murray's newsstand the day the new Spider-Man came out.

Now, knotting his tie in the locker room mirror, he thought that same enveloping relief was where the team game came from at the Y a mile from Ground Zero, the first weeks after.

They were all relieved that this one morning ritual could continue. That among so many things so totally changed, this one hour was still what it had been. That it required no coping, no dealing-with, no brave adjustments or support groups or halting, painful phone calls.

The passing and the play-making were expressions of gratitude.

Gratitude for what?

They were grateful to one another, Phil thought, for being alive.

Two blocks east of the Y, Phil sat down at a diner counter to drink black coffee, wait for eggs and bacon, thumb through the morning papers. All five, every day: the dailies and the Wall Street Journal. Just to know.

The war on the other side of the world was shown in grainy photos of blossoming explosions. A story on a Pentagon briefing quoted a spokesman telling reporters that the situation was too security-sensitive for him to tell reporters anything. At home, in the twisted, smoking ruins of Ground Zero, eight firefighters were pictured saluting a flag-draped stretcher that carried the remains of one of the three bodies recovered yesterday. No one knew where the anthrax was coming from, no one knew whether the air downtown was safe to breathe, and no one knew what they would find as they pulled the rubble pile apart shovel by shovel and ton by ton. No one knew.

In the Times the Harry Randall story was inside, in the Nation Challenged section with all the other September 11-related news. Reporter Dies in Suicide Plunge from Verrazano Narrows Bridge. Wrote Series of Articles About Hero Firefighter. Phil shook his head. Son of a bitch. He hadn't liked Randall, hadn't liked him at all, but, shit, couldn't a guy even die without the glow of Jimmy McCaffery's halo throwing him into shadow?

He scanned the Times story. He didn't know why he was reading it, and he didn't learn anything from it. The Post and the Daily News were pretty much the same, fewer words, more pictures.

The Tribune was different. They carried the story, with Randall's photo, on the front page, just below the fold. The headline was different, too, a clear shot across someone's bow. Whose? Good question. Phil propped the paper against the ketchup bottle and read every word.

From the New York Tribune, October 31, 2001

REPORTER DIES IN FALL FROM

VERRAZANO BRIDGE WROTE SERIES OF

ARTICLES ABOUT HERO FIREFIGHTER

Connection Suspected Between Death of Tribune 's

Harry Randall and Organized Crime

Firefighter May Be Link

by Hugh Jesselson

Sources tell the New York Tribune that the October 30 death of Tribune reporter Harry Randall, previously listed as a suicide, may be related to organized crime elements based on Staten Island.

Harold Randall, a widely respected investigative journalist and three-time recipient of the Pulitzer Prize, fell to his death from the Verrazano Narrows Bridge. Randall's death is now being investigated for possible connection to a series of articles he was working on for the Tribune. Revolving around the life of FDNY Captain James McCaffery, who led Ladder Co. 62 and died in the September 11 collapse of the World Trade Center's north tower, this unfinished series, according to sources, might have traced a relationship between Capt. McCaffery and reputed organized crime figure Edward Spano. If this relationship exists, police sources say, “There would be some justification for reexamining the evidence in the death of Harry Randall.”

The first two articles in Randall's series focused on the heroism and legacy of Capt. McCaffery. In the third article, which appeared in the Tribune the day before his death, Randall began to probe the source of payments made over the past two decades to Sally Keegan, widow of Capt. McCaffery's childhood friend Mark Keegan. These payments were not, as claimed by both Capt. McCaffery and prominent New York defense attorney Phillip Constantine from the State of New York. Their true source has yet to be disclosed.

Keegan died at the age of 24 in prison, where he had been sentenced in connection with the shooting death of Jonathan “Jack” Molloy, 25. Phillip Constantine has admitted being the conduit through which the mysterious payments were made to the Keegan family, and has also admitted being acquainted with James McCaffery. He has refused further comment on the matter. The Tribune has learned that the State Ethics Commission has opened an investigation into Constantine's activities. Constantine has been investigated by the Ethics Commission on three previous occasions; none of these investigations resulted in disciplinary action.