Andrew Vachss - The Weight

“Let me do it,” she said, when I got up to help her unload the car. “There’s no reason for anyone around here to get a look at you. That’s what the slot in front of each unit is for. Your guests, or if you want to drive right up to the door to off-load stuff.”

It took her a lot of trips, but not much time-it was only a few steps to the door, and she left it open. She’d bought some real big suitcases, too, but they were empty.

When she-when Lynda -got back from putting the car away, she closed the door behind her.

“Hungry?”

“I guess so.”

“I thought you guys had to have a ton of calories every day.”

“You don’t get a ton of calories in prison.”

“But you still lift weights and all?”

“If you can. It all depends. And if you have enough money on the books, you don’t have to eat mainline, either. The problem really isn’t calories, it’s getting healthy food.”

“Well, that’s my specialty. Salads and stuff like that, I mean. What I got was either fresh or frozen. I’m a killer on the microwave, but I’m not touching an oven.”

“You want me to-?”

“I want you to sit there like a good boy and let me put some plates together for us.”

I liked how she put everything away, even the plates and glasses in the dishwasher. Not the way she did it, just that she did it before she had a smoke. Most smokers, they finish eating, they light up.

“Can we do this, Sugar?”

“What you said before? Sure, I think we can. We have to try, anyway.”

That’s when she fired up a cigarette, and said, “Me first. I’m going to say things. Each one, you tell me if I’m right, if I’m wrong, or if you just don’t know, okay?”

I just nodded.

“Albie and Solly were like brothers. They go back to before either of us was born.”

“That’s what Solly said. I don’t know if it’s true.”

“It was, once, anyway. They each had a book. Those little blue books. And they each had a will.”

“Solly said that, too.”

“When Albie… died, I called Solly. He told me he was sending a man down. He said he’d call again, first. I thought you were bringing Albie’s will down with you.”

“Only, I really came for that little blue book.”

“I know. But you didn’t say a word about it. That’s why I… acted like I did. I never talk like that now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t remember how to. And I didn’t want to just come out and ask you. About the will, I mean.”

“I get it.”

“But you looking for Jessop, that was real?”

“Now, sitting here, I don’t know anymore, Lynda. All I know for sure is that Solly wanted Albie’s book.”

“I knew that all along.”

“You knew? Then why didn’t you just-?”

“Albie told me not to.”

“What? You mean, like, some kind of… I don’t know what to call it, but you know what I mean.”

“A voice from beyond?” She smiled. Sweet and gentle, just like Grace did when I met her. “No. When he told me, I was standing in his den. He was at his desk. He said if he went before Solly I should call Solly. Just tell Solly, then just listen.

“It used to upset me, him talking like that. But I knew it was just him getting me ready. Albie always used to say, if a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won’t save you… but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump.”

“He was right about that. That’s me, perfect-I never saw it coming.”

“What are you-?”

“I’ll tell you what I am, Lynda. A dope. I didn’t mean to knock you off the track.”

She took a long, deep drag of her smoke. “Was that a pun?”

“A what?”

“Sugar, I swear, you’ve got some kind of mind. Where was I? Ah! I told you what Albie said: the minute he goes, I should call Solly, right?”

“Yes.”

“Only, what he said was, ‘You just speak once , Rena. Then you listen.’ I remember that like it was engraved in stone. You know what a litmus test is? No? Like the test the cops have: pour some liquid into white powder, shake it up, see if it turns blue?”

I just nodded at her.

“If Solly came himself and brought Albie’s will with him, I was supposed to give him Albie’s little blue book. Just hand it over. But if Solly didn’t bring the will, I should never say a word about that book.” She took a long breath in and held it, like she was getting ready to lift a heavy weight. Off herself. “The only problem was that Solly didn’t come himself; he sent you,” she said.

“I never had the will.”

“I know. I… checked. So what would Albie want me to do?”

“Play me so I got Solly to show you the will?”

“That’s what I thought. And that’s what I was going to do. But it didn’t take long for me to see you’d already been played.”

“So either Albie never trusted her, or, now , you don’t .” My own words to Solly, ringing in my head. Albie had trusted Rena, all right-it was Solly he didn’t trust.

“Damn, he was slick,” I said.

“Who?”

“Albie. He had it all figured out. That will. Solly telling me he’d have to go see a lawyer, make out a new one. Total bullshit. I bet there never was any will. Not the kind you’d show in court, anyway. Just a list of where stuff was. If Solly went first, this girl, Grace, she was supposed to send his will to you. And she would have done it. She would have mailed it off, without ever looking at it.”

“You’re that sure? Maybe she-”

“No. Stop whatever you’re thinking. This Grace, I met her. She couldn’t even tell a lie. She’s like, I don’t know, a saint or something. There is no way Solly was anything to her but ‘Uncle Solly,’ understand?”

“That’s what you thought, anyway.”

“Check yourself, girl. You don’t know everything. You think the same thing doesn’t happen to me? Guys stare at your chest, think that’s all you are, the joke’s on them, right? You think people don’t take one look at me and decide I gotta be stupid?

“Well, you know what? About some things, I’m real smart. And I’m telling you, I know Solly. He’s… superstitious, I guess you’d say. He once told me, if he didn’t take care of Grace, her father, this guy Ken, he’d come back and haunt him. Not ‘Boo!’ like a ghost; like a hit man. Wait a minute… like a golem , is what he said.”

“A golem, that’s like a devil in human form. Albie told me about them.”

“See? Grace, she’s like… You know what Down syndrome is?”

“Sure. It’s when-”

“So here’s Solly, paying off his debt to Ken because he’s afraid Ken could come back and be this golem thing. That , he believes. And he knows what Ken the golem would do to him if he ever… did anything to his little girl.”

She stood up. Walked around in a little circle. Stopped in front of me, hands behind her back. “I want to sit in your lap, Sugar.”

“Yeah? Well, you can’t do it from there.”

She snuggled in. But it wasn’t like before. “Tell me again. About Albie being so smart, Sugar. I think you might know more about that than me. Really. I won’t say a word until you’re done.”

I took a deep breath, like I was getting ready to drive a lot of iron. I let it out slow, no burst. That’s showing you’ve got control of the weight.

“If Solly showed you whatever Albie left with him, it would have been all about money and property and stuff, Lynda. Probably where a lot of money was stashed, too. But it would have also had that thing about looking in the partners desk.