Greg Rucka - A gentleman_s game

Abdul Aziz was a short man, dressed in a simple white cotton thobe and a white-and-red-checkered kuffiyah held in place on his head with the traditional black wool igaal. His face was hard, as if set and blasted by the kiln-heat of the desert, and Shuneal studied the starburst scar on his left jaw that shone in the low light of the room. The look Abdul Aziz ran over the students as each took a seat was critical, if not nakedly suspicious.

"I am Abdul Aziz," he told them. "You have come to Madinah to reach the Fifth Pillar, and I am here to tell you of the Sixth. I am no imam, I can teach you nothing. You seek to secure your place in Paradise, but I tell you that my place is already ensured. You will walk with your brothers, but in your heart, look to yourself and ask if this is all that Allah, all praise Him, would have of you. What more can you give to His glory? What more can you give to your brothers, oppressed and hunted by Satan even today?

"You will stone the three Jamrah, you will strike at Satan, and when you do, see not stones, but see the enemies of Islam. See the Big Satan and the Little Satan, and ask yourself if a stone is enough, and ask yourself if there isn't more Allah, all praise Him, would have of you.

"I will be here when you return. And if you are righteous, and if I have seen that righteousness in you, I will show you the way to the Sixth Pillar." • On the eighth day of Dhul-Hijah, they began their pilgrimage, purifying themselves as directed, donning their ihram, the unsewn white garments that stripped away their status, their wealth, their identity, making them all equal before God. One of almost two million, Shuneal made the pilgrimage to Makkah and came to the Holy Mosque, the most sacred place on earth. Right foot first, he entered the Ka'bah and spoke the words, "In the name of Allah, may peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah. Oh Allah, forgive me my sins and open to me the doors of Your mercy. I seek refuge in Allah the Almighty and in His Eminent Face and in His Eternal Domination from the accursed Satan."

With crowds at his sides, gently jostling him, he approached the Black Stone, the stone that was given to Adam upon his fall from Paradise, the stone that was once white but had turned black with the sins absorbed from the millions of pilgrims who had touched its smooth surface. He touched the stone and spoke as was proper, "In the name of Allah, Allah is the greatest. Oh Allah, with faith in You, belief in Your book, loyalty to You, faith to the way of Your Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him."

Then he walked, keeping the Ka'bah to his left, seven times around the Holy Mosque, first with the small steps meant to increase his pace, three times, and then four times at his normal speed. Reaching the Rukn Al Yamani, he touched it, saying, "Our Lord, grant us good in this life, and good in the hereafter, and save us from the torment of the Hellfire. Oh Allah, I beg of You forgiveness and health in this life and in Paradise."

Each time he passed the Black Stone, he said, "Allah is the greatest."

He did all these things, and while he believed in everything he did, he did not feel what he hoped he would feel, the transcendence, the oneness, the peace. Try as he might, Shuneal found his brain cluttered again, cluttered with too many thoughts, too worried about how he looked from without rather than within, and he cursed himself for squandering this opportunity.

He ran seven times between Mount Safa and Mount Marwah, giving prayers as he reached the summit of each, and they were hardly mountains now at all, mere bumps in the terrain, but he ran between them as was required, and others ran with him. He listened as the other pilgrims around him gave their thanks to Muhammad and to Allah, and he wondered at following the Prophet's footsteps in this way, wondered if they were not, perhaps, deifying the Prophet himself, and this troubled him.

The second stage of the Hajj began, and Shuneal and almost two million others made their way to those holy places outside Makkah, to Mina first, praying as was required of him, and then the next morning to Arafat, entering the Namira Mosque to hear the sermon and to pray to Allah over and over again, until his back ached from the motion and his legs felt cramped folded beneath his body. Around him others broke away from their supplication, engaged in quiet conversation, reading silent passages from the Qu'ran. But Shuneal found strength in his prayers, here, in the words, "There is no God but Allah, He has no equal. All dominion and praise are His, and His power is absolute over all things," and he supplicated himself until the sun had all but vanished from the horizon.

Without rest, he left Arafat the same night, making his way with a thinning crowd to Muzdalifah, and arriving just before midnight, with barely enough time to spare to pray. He offered thanks and supplications to Allah until just before sunrise, and though he had taken water on the journey, he felt himself wearied and weakened, his head felt light, and his thoughts wandered again. But this time they wandered not with his doubts but with his thoughts on Paradise and Allah and the Will of God. His worship had distanced him from his body.

Just before sunrise, Aamil helped him to his feet, and the two young men made their way slowly back to Mina. Taking the pebbles they had gathered, they reached the first pillar, the Jamrah al-Aqaba, the one standing closest to Makkah, and they threw their stones at Satan himself, and Shuneal put what strength he had left in him into his arm as he let each fly, and with each throw he said, "God is the greatest," his voice intense and cracking.

He watched the pebbles bounce harmlessly from the Jamrah, and he felt himself begin to weep.

He understood. Satan was not a pillar. Satan would not be stopped with a pebble. Shuneal looked on the Jamrah and saw instead his parents in Sheffield, complacent and arrogant in their simplicity; he saw Americans rolling into Baghdad and the British rolling into Basra; he saw Coalition bombs falling on Afghanistan; he saw Israeli rockets in Gaza.

He threw his pebbles and offered his choked prayer, and when he had thrown the last, he bent to scoop more, enraged, and Aamil had to stop him then, to grab his hands and pull him away, telling him to be calm, that he understood, that he had seen it as well. Shuneal trembled with the anger, the effort of self-control, and though he could once again see the Jamrah for what it was, the image remained dancing before his eyes. Even as he ate of the goat that had been prepared, even as Aamil and he and the others shaved the hair from their heads, he found himself swimming in memories of fire and blood.

"How do you fight Satan?" he asked Aamil insistently.

"With everything," his friend answered. • Shuneal completed the Hajj, returning again to the Ka'bah, making the prescribed circuits once again, finishing the pilgrimage as it had been completed for over a thousand years. He and the others returned to Madinah, back to the house that Prince Salih had arranged for their comfort. All of them, it seemed, had been touched by their journey, each feeling its effects in privately profound ways. Some of the students, freed from the weight of their pilgrimage, began to laugh and joke again, talking of what they had seen and experienced, speaking of what they would do upon returning to Egypt. Their time was almost at an end, their visas, specially acquired for them by the Prince himself, soon to expire.

The impending departure filled Shuneal with a growing sense of despair. He had tried Egypt already and had been told there was no place for him there. He was not an Egyptian, not even an Arab, just a Muslim. After the past two weeks with other pilgrims, wrapped in the ihram, he had forgotten such distinctions mattered. But returning to Cairo reminded him, and he did not want to leave.