Кей Хупер - Chill Of Fear

Even his Hyacinth Room, which he'd thought a bit too fussy for his taste when he first arrived at The Lodge, looked only pleasant and comfortable as he more or less staggered through it to the door.

Christ, he felt as though he'd walked up a mountain. With a Volvo on his back. Pounding heart, shaking legs, weak as a kitten. In thirty-odd years of psychic experiences, some of them truly horrendous, he'd never emerged from anything that had drained him this much.

He wondered if Quentin had any idea of just how strong Diana really was.

He had to traverse a long corridor and climb one flight of stairs to get to Quentin's room, and by the time he reached the door he felt he was only just beginning to function normally. He was still cold, though. Chilled to the bone.

He braced himself with one hand on the doorjamb, deciding that "normal" was probably stretching things more than a bit. Before he could rap on the door it was jerked open, and Quentin stood there. He was fully dressed, wide-awake and tense, and spoke to Beau as though the conversation between them had already started.

"She's in the gray time."

"Yeah. And I'm not so sure she can find her way out of it alone."

"Jesus. Why the hell didn't you—"

"Nothing I could do. I was just doing a version of dream-walking, not there in the flesh. And it's definitely her realm, not mine."

Quentin didn't even question that. "Where was she? Relative to our side, I mean?"

"The conservatory. But I don't know if she's still there. If her instincts are good, she's looking for a place to hide. Whatever's been doing all the killing here — I think it's after her."

"I knew I shouldn't have left her alone. Goddammit, she can't fight this thing without help."

"I don't think she even knew it would happen tonight; she just went looking for the answer to a question. But she's been in the gray time too long, especially here, and it's weakened her. Believe me, I know." He still had one hand braced against the doorjamb for support.

Quentin seemed to notice the artist's appearance for the first time. "You don't look so good."

"I'll be fine. Go after Diana. Your cop pal is still here; I'll get him to roust his people."

"What good will that do? I'm not even sure I'll be able to see her this time — I sure as hell didn't see her leave, and I've been up and wide-awake."

"Ellie Weeks, like all the other victims, was killed by a flesh-and-blood murderer. Whatever's pulling the strings from the other side, that killer's on our side of the door — and if he's hunting Diana, he's visible."

Quentin stared at him for a moment, then went back inside his room long enough to get his gun. Tucking it inside the waistband of his jeans at the small of his back, he said, "And he's hunting Diana because only the mind of a powerful medium can give him something he's never had before."

Beau nodded. "A permanent way out, a means to live again in the flesh. And Diana knows it, thanks to a warning from Missy."

After working so hard, fighting her way out of the haze of medications and then struggling to come to terms with what she could do, hiding now was the last thing Diana would have chosen. But —

You have to. Don't let it find you. Not yet.

There was a plan and Diana understood it, if only in its bare outlines. What she understood even more, however, was that she was not strong enough to stand alone, not now, not on this side of the door. That would be a battle she'd lose.

Hide.

It was almost like her own heartbeat, that voice in her mind, as familiar as her own thoughts. And yet separate, distinctly apart. Something she'd heard, listened to, all her life.

Or tried to, through the medicated fog.

"Dad has a lot to answer for," she muttered, stumbling from the conservatory and toward the main building.

He was doing what he thought best.

"He was afraid. I get that."

He was trying to save your life. He'd lost me. And Mommy. He couldn't lose you too.

"There was a better way."

He didn't know that. He believed if you didn't know about me at all, it would hurt less than knowing I'd lived, and was stolen away — and died.

"So he came down here and bought a cover-up, right? And then kept me medicated so I wouldn't remember, couldn't learn about my abilities, much less consciously control them."

It wasn't that deliberate. The doctors and medicines. He never understood what happened to Mommy, but he was afraid it would happen to you too. He did his best to keep that from happening, Diana.

"If you say so." Diana hesitated, sticking close to the shrubbery that half masked one of the service entrances. "Now where do I go? Dammit, never a guide around when I need one." She crossed her arms over her breasts and shivered. She was cold. And getting colder.

You know why.

"Yeah. Your plan. Why didn't you try it sooner?"

Couldn't. I didn't live to be strong enough.

"And I did?"

Yes. It'll take your strength. Plus the others. The ones who're ready to move on.

"Waiting all this time for me?"

Yes. Waiting for a chance. A chance to stop it.

"You keep saying 'it.' All of you do. But Samuel Barton was a man once upon a time."

It was never a man. Not really. It was always evil. And when they killed its flesh, they set it free. Helped it grow even more powerful.

"So it could possess anyone not strong enough to fight it off."

Yes, sometimes. But if they weren't strong enough to fight it off, they weren't strong enough to hold it for long. They... burned out. And it was energy again, building up, looking for another host. A more permanent host.

"Me."

Once you discovered what you could do, once you began remembering and became aware, it was only a matter of time before it sensed your strength. Your abilities. But it happened much faster than we expected. I'm sorry, Diana.

"Maybe faster is better," Diana said, half to herself. "I've barely had time to think. Otherwise, all this would probably drive me back into a mental hospital."

No. That won't happen again. You're too strong now.

"I hope you're right." Diana looked around again, then slipped through the shrubbery and used the service entrance. Despite the blinking control pad indicating the presence of a security system, she simply turned the handle and opened the door.

Electronics didn't work in the gray time. Or maybe they just didn't exist. Diana had never known which.

Tha-thum.

"Oh, shit," she whispered.

Diana.

She realized she was pressed up against the icy wall just inside the door, palms flat on either side of her hips. She realized that her legs were about to buckle, that she was about to slide down the wall and end up in a heap on the floor, helpless.

Useless.

Diana! Don't let it make you afraid. That's how it catches us. That's how it wins.

"I can make a door," she whispered. "I can bring the door to me. I can — "

No. You can't open a door. Not here. Not alone.

She drew a breath, fighting to steady herself, trying to will the strength to return to her body. It was the hardest thing she'd ever done, and she wasn't at all sure she was successful, but she tried her best. "Where is it?"

Near. But you have a safe place. The green door, Diana. Find the green door.

"I made one before."

You have to find the one that exists on both sides. In both worlds. Find that green door, Diana.

"Why aren't you here to lead me?"

Because there's something I have to do on this side. But I'll help you. Just keep going.

The plan. Diana pushed herself away from the cold, cold wall and started down what looked like an endless, featureless corridor, searching for a green door.