Don Winslow: While Drowning in the Desert

I wanted to cry too, to be honest. But Mickey the C was standing there in a three-piece suit, in the desert sun, not even sweating. Not a bead of perspiration on his smooth face.

“Thank you,” I said.

“No problem,” he answered. “Anything for Natty Silver, the laughs he’s given me. And Joe Graham reached out for you. Said you’re like a son to him.”

Okay, maybe then my eyes might have moistened a little bit.

Don’t ever tell Graham, though, okay?

In the distance I heard the basslike beating of helicopter rotors.

“The cops?” I asked.

Mickey the C snorted. “The cops? They take forever to get here.”

A few minutes later I was on a stretcher beside Nathan Silver on a mob helicopter zooming us back to Las Vegas.

We’d been in the air about ten seconds when he mumbled, “So Arthur Minsky says to the Irish kid, ‘Son, you’re never going to be a good errand boy. Can you do anything else?’ And the kid, Costello, says, ‘I want to be a comic.’ Arthur laughs, I laugh, Eileen the Irish Dream laughs, Benny the Blade laughs. Then Arthur turns to me and says, ‘There you go, Natty. Here’s your replacement for Phil Gold. Teach him “Who’s on First.”’ And I say, ‘This kid? He can’t learn it. He’s the dumbest Mick I ever seen! Dumber maybe than you, even.’ I said to Arthur Minsky…”

“Nathan?”

“Yeeees?”

“Didn’t I meet you in Cleveland once?”

“I’ve never been to Cleveland.”

“Neither have I,” I said. “Must have been two other guys.”

And I actually got a laugh out of Natty Silver.

Ms. Pamela A. HolmstrumClaims SuperintendentWestern States Insurance Co. 801 Flower StreetLos Angeles, CA

Craig D. Schaeffer

Attorney-at-Law

3615 Monterey

Palm Desert, CA

14 August 1983

Dear Mr. Schaeffer,

Congratulations on your fine work on the Muller-Abdullah files. I was gratified to receive your communication that Attorney Eugene Petkovitch has dropped both bad-faith suits. Of course, I imagine that Mr. Muller’s demise and Mr. Abdullah’s incarceration rendered that litigation moot.

Western States Insurance Company is very pleased with your fine work on this file, and please allow me to add my personal congratulations. It has been a pleasure to work with you and I look forward to future collaborations.

Yours truly, Pamela A. Holmstrum

P.S.: See, I told you things would work out.

Craig D. SchaefferAttorney-at-Law3615 MontereyPalm Desert, CA

Ms. Pamela A. Holmstrum

Claims Superintendent

Western States Insurance Co.

801 Flower Street

Los Angeles, CA

17 August 1983

Dear Ms. Holmstrum,

Thank you for your letter expressing your, and your company’s, appreciation for my modest efforts on the Muller-Abdullah file. I am indeed gratified that everything worked out. Let me also express my appreciation for your work on the matter and say how much I have enjoyed our association. I hope it will continue.

Sincerely, Craig Schaeffer, Esquire

P.S.: Dinner Saturday?

Ms. Pamela A. HolmstrumClaims SuperintendentWestern States Insurance Co. 801 Flower StreetLos Angeles, CA

Craig D. Schaeffer

Attorney-at-Law

3615 Monterey

Palm Desert, CA

19 August 1983

Dear Craig,

Please find enclosed a correspondence from Eugene Petkovitch. I am referring this to you for your handling.

Yours truly, Pam Holmstrum

P.S.: Do you believe the nerve of this son-of-a-gun?

P.P.S.: Eight o’clock?

The Law Offices of Eugene E. Petkovitch1500 Mitch Miller BoulevardPalm Springs, CA

Ms. Pamela Holmstrum

Western States Insurance Co.

801 Flower Street

Los Angeles, CA

16 August 1983

Dear Ms. Holmstrum,

This letter is to inform you that I no longer represent Mr. Amin “Sami” Abdullah. If I had thought for a moment that this man was an arsonist, fraud and kidnapper I would never have deigned to take pen in hand-rhetorically speaking-on his behalf. Please accept my profound apologies.

Second, I wish to inform you that I will be filing suit against you on behalf of the estate of the late Heinz Muller. The causes of action will be unlawful surveillance, harassment, assault with a deadly vehicle (his Land Rover), false imprisonment, and wrongful death. I am also naming Mr. Neal Carey, Mr. Nathan Silverstein, Ms. Hope White, Ms. Karen Hawley, and one John Doe aka “Mickey the C.”

I am personally and professionally outraged-OUTRAGED-that an insurance carrier in this day and age would single out for oppressive treatment an individual just because that person happens to be a foreign immigrant. Immigration built this land, Ms. Holmstrum, lest you or Western States Insurance Company ever forget it!

Your conduct has been despicable!

I am certain that a California jury will send a message to the insurance industry-via a large punitive damages award-that this type of conduct will no longer be tolerated.

There is still time for you to avoid litigation.

My client, the estate of Mr. Heinz Muller, is generously willing to accept $100,000,000 for the pain, suffering and unlawful death that your Gestapo-like inquisition and jackboot investigative tactics have inflicted upon him. This sum represents far less than an outraged jury would award, and saves you the cost of a long, expensive, and ultimately futile defense.

This offer expires at close of business, five working days hence, and will not be compromised or renewed.

Sincerely yours, Eugene E. Petkovitch

Craig D. SchaefferAttorney-at-Law3615 MontereyPalm Desert, CA

Ms. Pamela A. Holmstrum

Claims Superintendent

Western States Insurance Co.

801 Flower Street

Los Angeles, CA

20 August 1983

Dear Pam,

Enclosed please find my response to the demand letter of Attorney Eugene Petkovitch.

Here we go again.

Sincerely, Craig

P.S.: Enjoyed watching The Searchers. Was it John Wayne, or you?

Craig D. SchaefferAttorney-at-Law3615 MontereyPalm Desert, CA

Eugene E. Petkovitch

The Law Offices of Eugene E. Petkovitch

1500 Mitch Miller Boulevard

Palm Springs, CA

20 August 1983

Dear Eugene,

I am once again representing Western States Insurance Company. In response to your latest correspondence:

1) Take us to court.

2) Bring your lunch.

The usual bullshit, Craig “Mad Dog” Schaeffer

By Fax

Dear Craig,

I read with great interest your response to Attorney Petkovitch.

I have a triathlon in Laguna next weekend. Can you lend me some testosterone?

Pam

P.S.: I rented Annie Hall, if that will get you here.

Dear Diary,

What a day!

I went over to visit Nathan in the hospital. He is sharing a room with that nice young man Neal. Nathan says Neal is kind of grumpy sometimes but Nathan puts up with it because he says that Neal is very eager to learn all about the good old days in burlesque so Nathan is telling him all about it.

Nathan is feeling much better even though the ordeal was very hard on him. He has decided to buy a condo here in Las Vegas. At first, Diary, he wanted to move in with me but I didn’t think that would be proper. So I told him to get his own place nearby and I would come over for matinees (blush, blush).

That nice young man Neal is also recovering. He had a dislocated shoulder, a cracked cheekbone, a bruised hip, a bruised throat, a concussion and multiple contusions. He says he is eager to get out of the hospital. In fact the other day, right in the middle of one of Nathan’s lessons about burlesque, Neal said that if he didn’t get out of the room soon he was going to stick his head down the commode and try to flush himself. I think he must have been joking, though, because they won’t let him up to use the bathroom and I think he is a little jealous of Nathan about this. Nathan is already in a wheelchair and Neal is still in bed.