Dave Zeltserman - Outsourced

Gordon handed him a ski mask. “Try taking this off a few times. I want to see if the compound holds.”

Dan did as he was asked. The compound held. “Let’s get the overalls on,” he said.

Gordon helped him into them. With the extra padding, the overalls were somewhat clunky, but he was able to move around in them okay. “What do you think?” Dan asked.

Gordon appraised Dan slowly, nodding. “You look enough like him to fool a security video.”

Dan checked his watch. Gordon had finished fourteen minutes early. They were almost back on schedule. “You’re straight on where you’re meeting us?” he asked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there.” Gordon exhaled, made a face as if he had bitten into a lemon. “By the way, I went to the Jersey Shore for the last time this weekend. I don’t know, that place has lost its appeal for me.”

“Why don’t we talk about this later.”

“Sure, I know, I better let you get going.” Gordon handed Dan a rolled-up paper bag. “The ski masks and everything you need to remove the makeup are in the bag.” He hesitated, rubbing a hand across his jaw. “I need a favor, Dan. This weekend I’m going to fly down to Sao Paulo. I’m not planning on coming back. I have over four thousand dollars left. That should leave me enough for six months if I’m careful. When the bank money is safe, I’m going to need you to wire me my cut.”

Dan nodded. The request didn’t surprise him. “I’ll take care of it, buddy. You’re meeting us at one-thirty sharp, right?”

“Righto.”

They shook hands. As Dan left he couldn’t help feeling a bit nostalgic. Gordon, Shrini, Joel; he had known them for years and they were all going to be out of his life soon enough. When the robbery was finished, that was it. But there was more to it than that. There were so many more aspects of his life that were going to be shut off forever. He felt a panic start in his chest. He took several deep breaths and tried to block out his thoughts and simply concentrate on the road. He opened both front windows, afraid that he might pass out if he didn’t have fresh air blowing hard on his face.

When he arrived at Shrini’s, Shrini was wearing his overalls and gloves and waiting where he was supposed to. Dan pulled up alongside him. From the driver’s seat of his Honda Civic, Shrini gave a big shit-eating grin as he looked at Dan. “Hey, Raymond Lombardo, how’s it going, dude?”

Dan got out and took the passenger seat in the Civic. He was still shaken from his near panic attack and waited until Shrini pulled out on to the street before answering him. “Great day for a bank robbery,” he said, trying to force a bravado but his voice sounded flat and lifeless to him. “You have everything in the trunk?”

“Everything’s there, dude.” Shrini took a quick sideways glance at Dan. “Believe me,” he said. “Gordon is truly an artist. He should be working on Broadway, or better yet, Hollywood.”

Shrini handed Dan a piece of paper. Written on it were addresses of cars they had scoped out. All the addresses were in Revere. If none of the cars were available, that was it, the robbery was over. The deal they had was if anything went wrong they would walk away from the robbery if they could.

Dan directed Shrini to the first three addresses on the list before they found what they were looking for. He got out of the car, took a slim jim and a screwdriver from the Civic’s trunk, and walked over to a rusted-out older model Chevy Camaro that was parked on the street. Sliding the slim jim between the window and door panel, he had the car unlocked in seconds. He pressed the trunk release. While he pulled out the ignition wires with the screwdriver, Shrini transferred the contents of his trunk to the Chevy’s.

A minute later he had the ignition wires clamped together and the car engine running. By using a clamp, he could easily turn on and off the ignition. He put the car in drive and pulled into the street. Shrini trailed behind in his Civic. All the practicing paid off. While he had been unable to figure out the newer cars, older cars like this Camaro he could unlock and start in less than two minutes.

Dan checked his watch as he entered the Revere Mall parking lot. Shrini was still behind him, but he tailed off as they had agreed. He kept driving until he spotted Joel and Hoffer sitting in Joel’s car. He pulled up next to them and they quickly left their car and got into the backseat of the Chevy. Both of them were carrying what looked like large gym bags. Joel was wearing his overalls, Hoffer had on an old running suit.

Dan next drove to the area of the mall parking lot where Gordon was supposed to be and spotted him pulling up as they got there. He checked his watch again. They were only a couple of minutes off schedule. Gordon took the front passenger seat and made eye contact with Joel and Hoffer before facing front.

Dan drove to where Shrini was waiting and stopped so that Shrini could squeeze into the backseat next to Hoffer.

“Okay, dudes, let’s rock and roll,” Shrini said. No one bothered to answer him. Gordon and Joel both seemed deep in thought. Hoffer still had his stupid grin plastered across his face. As they headed towards Lynn, Joel remarked to Gordon how he’d done a fucking fantastic job making up Dan. “Our son of a bitch friend up there actually looks like that Mafioso,” Joel said. “I also have to tell you, you impressed the hell out of me the other day with your shooting.”

Gordon looked back, nodded soberly. “Thanks, Joel. Believe it or not, that means a lot to me coming from you.”

“All right,” Dan interrupted, trying to sound both confident and in charge. “Before we all start crying and joining in a group hug, we’re five minutes from the bank. As of right now, thanks to some crappy work by an Indian contract house and a little help from yours truly, their alarm system will be disabled for the next twenty-eight minutes. That should give us enough time. We’ll go in there and get this over with fast.” Pausing, he added, “No shooting, understood?”

“Unless we need to,” Joel snapped.

“Unless one of our lives is at stake,” Dan corrected him. “But if something goes wrong and we’re in a position to surrender peacefully, that’s what we do. Agreed?”

Joel sat glaring, his lips pressed into tight lines.

“Joel, you already agreed to this last week. Agree again or I turn around.”

“All right, all right. I don’t like it but I agree.”

Dan drove past the side street that the Lynn Capital Bank was on and instead took the next right. Next he swung into a parking lot for a vacant storefront. Directly behind the parking lot was the bank’s lot. Cut through shrubs separating the two lots and you had a ten-second run to the bank lobby. Thanks to its location, the bank had little foot traffic. While they were taking a small chance someone would see them during those ten seconds, Dan thought it unlikely.

Joel handed out forty-five caliber pistols along with extra magazines. “That gives each of you fourteen shots,” he told them. Dan stuck his gun in a front pocket and then passed out the ski masks. Gordon had added hair to the edges of the ones that both he and Joel ended up with, making them look like they had long black curly hair. Shrini slipped on a pair of tinted aviator glasses and put his ski mask on over them. They all sat for a moment collecting their thoughts and then Dan whistled to get their attention. He got out of the car and took a duffel bag from the trunk. Shrini followed, also taking a duffel bag. Joel and Hoffer both opened their bags and brought out Kalashnikov rifles.

“Fuck it,” Joel said. “Let’s get moving!”

He led the way, pushing though the shrubs and running at full speed towards the bank. Dan followed behind. He felt strange, almost as if he were watching himself from outside his body. Dreamlike more than anything else.