Joe Lansdale - Devil Red

Something clicked while June was talking. I remembered this. I had seen stuff about it on the local news, a while back. The vampire angle had been mentioned, but I had forgotten all about it.

“They drove over to Camp Rapture, teasing him and giving him whiskey, and then Mini said Godzilla said something about her and Trip taking the boy out behind the warehouse district and doing him a favor. By this point, this guy was so drunk and worked up he’d have humped a crippled sheep wearing stockings, a garter belt, and a purple beret. To him, even Godzilla was probably starting to look like a runway model. Man, where’s my maid? I need another drink.”

“Finish your story,” I said, “and I’ll look her up for you.”

June held up her glass and shook the ice in it, hoping the maid might hear. She didn’t. June shook the glass harder. After a moment she gave up and placed it on the table and burped pleasantly with her hand almost making it over her mouth.

“There’s not much left to tell,” June said. “They took him out back of a shed, down in the warehouse district. Mini said she could see what was happening from the inside of the car. They were a ways back, but it was all in full view. While the guy is shucking his drawers, thinking he’s going to get to churn the log in the mill, out of her purse Godzilla pulls a big knife and sticks the guy in the neck.”

June made a stabbing motion in the air, gritting her teeth as she did.

“Then Godzilla pounced on him, started sticking him, lots of times. He screamed and fell down on his face. Godzilla kept after him. She wasn’t any slacker. She tried to hand Trip the knife, but she wouldn’t take it. Godzilla went back to it. Trip went back to the car and got in and sat there and all she could say was that there was a hole in the guy’s back big enough to shove a wiener dog through. Or so Mini said. They watched Godzilla bend over the body and start sucking at the blood.

“When it was over, Godzilla came back covered in gore. Mini said her eyes were wide and bright and she had that big wet knife in her hand and a loopy blood-smeared smile on her face like she’d just had a seven-course dinner and someone had been polite enough to burp her.

“Mini said right then she was through playing vampire. She got out of the car and made a run for it. And when she looked back, Trip was out of the car and chasing after her. But Trip, drunk, or just worn out by shock, fell down in a stretch of trees, and Mini just kept going. They were way out in the country, so she got lost. Wandered through some woods and over a little creek, finally saw lights. It was Camp Rapture. She could see the university tower all lit up.”

June paused and closed her eyes. The last words she had spoken had begun to have fuzz around them. I said, “So, she saw the tower lit up.”

“Real pretty, that tower at night,” June said.

“Yeah, it’s nice,” Leonard said. “What happened after Mini saw it?”

“She went into town and found the police and told them about it. They went out, and sure enough, they found the guy. He looked like bloody rags, he was so cut up. And when they found Godzilla and Trip and the other girl back at Godzilla’s pad, Godzilla was still covered in blood.

“They arrested all of ’em, includin’ Mini. But it was decided she didn’t do anything but hang out with the wrong crowd, so they let her out of jail and told her to hang up her gothic duds and turn state’s evidence. She did. Oh, God. I’m drunk. Do I sound drunk?”

“Amazingly,” I said, “not much.”

“Godzilla had somehow dropped her credit card, near the body, so when they found the body they found the card, and that established the likelihood of her being there. Later all the girls turned on her, even Trip. That put the nail in her coffin, which, for a vampire, seems appropriate. But there was one more thing. Godzilla threw up when she was arrested. All that blood. Samples were taken. Eventually, the results came back. It was the guy’s blood, of course. She actually had sucked down about a half quart of it, the greedy whore.”

“Do you remember the dead boy’s name?” I asked.

“Shit,” June said, “I’m two sips off startin’ to have a hard time rememberin’ my own name. All I know is the family was a good family out of Houston, and they were in court during Godzilla’s trial. I heard rumors Godzilla swore she’d get all the other girls, kill them, or have them killed. But I heard one of my cousins say he saw Bigfoot once, and I just got to take him at his word.”

“And how are the girls?” I asked.

“How the hell would I know?” she said, put her head on the table, closed her eyes, and in a moment she was snoring like a water buffalo.

“Well,” Leonard said. “Reckon that’s our cue.”

We went back into the hall and the maid met us there. She was friendlier now and her voice was less gruff. She said, “She drunk yet?”

“Yes, but she went down a pretty clear talker,” I said.

“Passed out?” the maid asked.

“Yep,” Leonard said.

“She’s like that. Talks almost like she hasn’t had a drink, then she’s snoozin’. You got to watch sometimes so she doesn’t bump her head, she’ll go down so fast.”

“We’ll take that under advisement,” Leonard said.

“You know, in spite of what she says, she loved her brother very much.”

“So, you been listening in?” I said.

“Absolutely. I knew she wanted another drink too, but I didn’t bring it. She didn’t need it.”

“We heard she was pretty upset about her mother leaving the money to the brother,” Leonard said.

“Not really,” the maid said. “She was worried that Mini would get her hands on it. She didn’t want that to happen, and that’s all there was to that. I’ve worked for her for five years, and she’s not as heartless as she can sound when she’s drunk. She and her brother didn’t get along, but she loved him. She just didn’t know how much until he was dead. I’ll walk you gentlemen out.”

Outside, Leonard said, “That’s some story.”

“Actually,” I said, “I remember hearing about the case on the news. I don’t remember the details, but I remember hearing about it.”

“Me too,” Leonard said. “But it happened before Mini bit the big one, and before she was dating Ted, so I’m not sure it means anything, even if those girls could actually change into bats.”

“No one said they could change into bats,” I said.

“I know, but that would be way cool, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah,” I said, and we bumped fists. “Do you think Mini telling June about all that in such detail means anything other than they were both drunk?”

“Got me,” Leonard said.

Back in the car Leonard put on the deerstalker.

“You’re just jackin’ with me, aren’t you? You know you look like a moron, but you’re wearing that thing to get my goat and all its children, aren’t you?”

Leonard leaned over and adjusted the car mirror and looked at himself. “I think it fits my personality.”

“What personality?”

“That’s just mean, Hap.”

I put the mirror back the way I liked it. “We’ll take back streets,” I said.

“I want a Sonic burger.”

“You have money?”

“Not on me… You have money?”

“Yes.”

“Will you buy me a burger?”

“Will you take off the hat?”

“You can eat in the car at Sonic.”

“Yes, but the waitress who brings it out will see you and know I’m with you.”

“No one will know you.”

“It’s not a chance I’m willin’ to take.”

“I hate you,” Leonard said.

In Marvin’s office, Marvin looked up some things on the Internet and made a few calls to cops, a warden, some prison guards, and other people, including a sandwich shop that delivered.