Suzetta Perkins - Déjà Vu

A smile trickled across Angelica’s face. For the first time tonight, she had something to smile about. “That’s great, Donna,” Angelica said. “And you’re willing to take a chance on a non-model.”

“Well, my contract said that I had to have a set number of women in the shoot. I happened to be talking with my mother and aunt on three-way when they told me you had been released from prison. I remembered how you loved to dress in the finest and command attention at every family event I ever attended. Then it came to me that you might be the person I was looking for.”

Angelica sat in silence. The waitress placed her drink in front of her followed by her food. Her privacy had been violated with Donna’s announcement. The fact that Angelica had just gotten out of prison didn’t seem to faze the ladies, though-Donna had probably given them her bio long before her plane landed in New York. It sucked, and Angelica wished she were back in Fayetteville in her own condo-a place she had left without even telling Margo she was leaving.

The cafe was crowded, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. It was hard to hear at times, but the light jazz put Angelica in a melancholy mood. She had tuned out Donna and her friends and turned to get a better view of the two brothers who sat a couple of tables over. They glanced over a couple of times, but Angelica failed to keep their attention.

Turning around, she saw Donna slide her hand over Madeline’s arm. It might have been an innocent gesture, but it reminded Angelica of the way Ms. Macy would handle the new inmates when they came to quad L.

“So what kind of ad are you shooting?” Angelica asked Donna, making an attempt to belong.

“There will be several, which is why the pay will be lucrative. Angelica, you will not make as much as the other girls because they are on union scale, but you will make enough to be independent.”

“When do we start?”

“On Monday. You have the whole weekend to rest up because we’re just getting started. I hope you’ve got on your dancing shoes.”

“I’m ready.”

Ding, dong. Ding, dong.

“Hold on, Ivy, someone’s at the door.”

Ding, ding.

“Malik,” Margo said upon opening the door. “What are you doing here?”

Margo blushed. “Checking on my favorite girl.”

“I’ve got my daughter Ivy on the phone. We were about finished. Come in and make yourself comfortable.”

“Okay,” Malik whispered.

“Hey, Ivy, I’m back. It was Malik checking on me.”

“I think he likes you, Mom.”

“We’ve been friends a long time. We’re like brother and sister.”

“Okay, tell me anything. You better go on and get you some because Dad ain’t gonna be any good when he finally gets out of prison.”

“Ivy, don’t talk like that. I’m your mother, for goodness sake. Anyway, I’m in this marriage for the long haul-for good or for worse. And it’s your daddy we’re talking about.”

“Mom, you have every reason to be with someone else.”

“Bye, I’ve got to go. I’m not going to put up with any foolish talk like that.”

“Why are you whispering? Is Malik still there? Mom, you aren’t foolin’ nobody. Talk with you later.”

“Bye, sweetie.”

Margo hung up the phone, and her stomach started to flutter for no reason. She walked into the living room where Malik had made himself comfortable on the couch-a remote in one hand and the newspaper in another. Fire began to burn in Margo’s stomach and then radiated downward. Surely this wasn’t happening at Ivy’s mere suggestion.

Blowing air from her mouth, Margo sat across from Malik and pretended to look at the program on television.

“How is Ivy?”

“She’s doing fine. She worries about me all the time,” Margo said softly. “I don’t think she or J.R. will ever come back home to live-they love it in Atlanta.”

“Well, at least Winston and Winter aren’t far,” Malik said as he surfed the channels.

“Yeah, they’ve really bonded since they moved to Raleigh two years ago and are making all of that good money in the Research Triangle Park. Their college education paid off. Keeps them out of my pockets.”

Malik looked up from the television. “What’s wrong, Margo? You seem distracted and awfully quiet for the chatterbox you are.”

“Am I? I answered all your questions.”

“Have you eaten anything? Maybe we can go and get a bite.”

“Not tonight, Malik. I’m feeling a bit tired.”

“What if I run and get us some Chinese? You haven’t eaten; I can tell.”

“Don’t go out for me.”

“Maybe you didn’t hear, but I’m hungry, too.”

“All right. Maybe some Chinese.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Margo was glad to put some distance between herself and Malik. Why did Ivy’s suggestion make her feel like she had been cheating? Was this a suppressed desire? She had to be careful. She had made a vow to Jefferson and the Lord, and two wrongs didn’t make a right-even if she was having feelings for the handsome man with the six-pack, wavy hair, and hands that made her feel safe. Margo shook her head to erase the thought from her mind and then fell to her knees.

Lord, I ask You to take the temptation, if that’s what it is, away from me. I am Your child, and I have committed my life to You. You have been so good to me, Lord, and I won’t let anything compromise the love I have for You and my getting into Your kingdom. If this means telling Malik that we can’t hang out all the time, that’s what I’ll do.

Margo was puzzled about one thing. Malik had not mentioned Angelica and she had not been able to reach her the past couple of days. That would be the first question for Malik when he returned. Angelica seemed excited about working with Malik, but Margo knew that Angelica always had a silent crush on him.

There was a knock on the door. It was impossible for Malik to have gone to the Chinese take-out that fast, but when she opened the door, there he was, smiling and holding several white plastic bags full of good smelling food. Margo was suddenly hungry.

“Take a seat and I’ll fix it for you,” Malik offered. “You’ve had a long day, and you deserve a little pampering.”

“You’re not my husband, Malik,” Margo said, throwing up her hand at him and then letting out a giggle. “Stop trying to give me orders.” She giggled again. “Maybe I’m going to have to keep you at bay because you’re getting a little bit too comfortable.”

Malik laid the spoon down on the table and turned around and looked at Margo.

“What are you trying to say, Margo? I know you’ve been awfully quiet tonight, but if you don’t want me here, say so.”

“No, Malik, it’s not like that at all. I guess I was thinking about Jefferson and what my life has become,” Margo waved her hands, “and I guess I let my confusion get the best of me.”

“What are you confused about?”

“Did I say confused? See, that’s what I mean, Malik. My head doesn’t seem to be screwed on straight, and I say words I don’t mean.”

“So try saying what you mean.”

“I don’t know what I mean.”

“Perhaps what you’re trying not to say is that you’re feeling something for me like I’m feeling for you.”

“Malik!!!”

“You are not a dumb blonde, Margo. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Sending Angelica to my place to try and knock me off my equilibrium. Nice try.”

“Speaking of Angelica, where is she?”

“Don’t try to change the subject, woman. Angelica isn’t the subject of this conversation. Why don’t we eat our food before it gets cold? It’ll probably give us enough energy to continue the conversation you started.”