Tom Smith - Secret speech

– What is it?

Zoya dropped her head, speaking under her breath:

– I feel sad. I feel sad all the time.

Raisa bit her lip, trying not to cry. She put a hand on Zoya’s arm:

– Tell me what I can do.

– Elena can’t go back to that orphanage: she can’t ever go back.

– No one is going anywhere.

– I want her to stay with you.

– She will. You both will. Of course you will. I love you very much.

Raisa had never dared to say that aloud. Zoya looked at her carefully:

– I could be happy… living with you.

They’d never spoken like this. Raisa had to be careful: if she said the wrong thing, gave the wrong reply, Zoya would close down and she might not get another chance.

– Tell me what you want me to do.

Zoya considered:

– Leave Leo.

Her beautiful eyes seemed to swell, soaking up every detail of Raisa’s reaction. Zoya’s expression was filled with hope at the notion of never seeing Leo again. She was asking Raisa to divorce Leo. Where could she have learned about divorce? It was rarely spoken about. The State’s initially permissive attitude had hardened under Stalin, making divorce more difficult, expensive and stigmatized. In the past, Raisa had considered a life without Leo many times. Had Zoya detected the remnants of that embittered relationship and drawn hope from it? Would she have dared ask if she didn’t think there was a chance Raisa would have said yes?

– Zoya…

Raisa was gripped by an intense desire to give this girl anything she wanted. At the same time, she was young-she needed guidance, she couldn’t make outlandish demands and expect them to come true.

– Leo’s changed. Let’s talk, you and me and him, together, tonight.

– I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to hear his voice. I want you to leave him.

– But Zoya… I love him.

The hope drained from Zoya’s face. Her expression became cold. Without saying another word she broke into a run, leaving Raisa behind, hurrying through the main gates.

Raisa watched as Zoya disappeared into the school. She couldn’t run after her: there was no way they could speak in front of the other students, and anyway, it was too late. Zoya would remain silent, refusing to answer. The moment had passed, the opportunity was gone, Raisa had given her reply- I love him. Words greeted with a grim stoicism, like a convict hearing a death sentence confirmed. Cursing herself for responding so definitively, Raisa entered the school grounds. Ignoring the students and teachers passing her, she considered Zoya’s dream-a life without Leo.

Inside the school building she entered the staff room, unable to concentrate, dizzy and distracted. She found a parcel waiting for her. There was a letter attached. She ripped it open, glancing at the contents. It contained instructions that she was to read the enclosed document to all her students, every year group. The letter was from the Ministry of Education. Tearing off the brown paper wrapped around the parcel, she glanced at the top of the box: NOT FOR PRESS

She lifted the lid, taking out the thick stack of neatly typed pages. As a politics teacher she was regularly sent material and instructed to convey it to her students. Having read the covering letter, she tossed it into the bin, only to see that the bin was filled with identical letters. Copies must have been sent to every teacher, every class must be having the speech read to them. Already running late, Raisa picked up the box, hurrying out.

Arriving at class, she saw the pupils talking, making the most of her delay. There were thirty students, aged between fifteen and sixteen. She’d taught many of them for the full three years she’d been at the school. She put the pages down on the table, explaining that today they’d be hearing a speech by their leader Khrushchev. Waiting for the applause to die down, she read aloud:

– Special report to the Twentieth Congress of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. By Nikita Sergeyevich Khrushchev, First Secretary, Communist Party of the Soviet Union.

It was the first congress since Stalin’s death. Raisa reminded her class that the Communist revolution was worldwide and that at these gatherings were emissaries from international workers’ parties as well as Soviet leaders. Braced for an hour of platitudes and self-congratulatory declarations, her thoughts focused on the unlikely hope that Zoya would make it through the day without getting into a fight.

Very quickly her attention was brought back to the material she was reading. This was no ordinary speech. It opened with none of the normal descriptions of startling Soviet successes. Midway through the fourth paragraph, her hands tight around the paper, she stopped, unable to believe the sentences set out before her. The class was silent. In an uncertain voice she read:

– … The cult of the person of Stalin has been gradually growing, the cult which became the source of a whole series of exceedingly serious and grave perversions of Party principles, of Party democracy, of revolutionary legality.

Amazed, she flicked forward, wondering if there was more, reading silently:

– The negative characteristics of Stalin, which, in Lenin’s time, were only incipient, transformed themselves during the last years into a grave abuse of power…

She’d spent her entire career propagandizing the State, teaching these children that the State was always right, good, and just. If Stalin had been guilty of fostering a cult, Raisa had been instrumental in that. She’d justified teaching such falsehoods since it was necessary that her students learn the language of adulation, the vocabulary of State worship without which they’d be vulnerable to suspicion. The relationship between a student and teacher depended upon trust. She believed she’d upheld that premise, not in the orthodox sense that she’d told the truth, but she’d told them the truths they needed to hear. These words made her a cheat. She looked up. The students were too confused to understand the implications immediately. But they would eventually. They would understand that she was not an enlightened role model but a slave to whoever happened to be in charge.

The door was flung open. Iulia Peshkova, a teacher, was standing in the doorway, her face bright red-her mouth open, startled, unable to speak. Raisa stood up:

– What is it?

– Come quickly.

Iulia was Zoya’s teacher. Fear struck Raisa. She put down the pages, telling her class to remain in their seats and following Iulia down the corridor, down the stairs, unable to get a sensible answer:

– What happened?

– It’s Zoya. It’s the speech. I was reading and she… you must see for yourself.

They reached the classroom. Iulia stood back, allowing Raisa to go in first. She opened the door. Zoya was standing on the teacher’s desk. The desk had been pushed up against the wall. All the other students were at the opposite end of the room, bunched up, as far away as possible, as if Zoya had some contagious disease. Around her feet were the pages of the speech and shards of glass. Zoya was standing proud, triumphant. Her hands were bloody. They clasped the remains of a poster taken down from the wall, an image of Stalin with the words printed underneath:

FATHER TO ALL CHILDREN

Zoya had climbed onto the table to take the picture off the wall: she’d smashed the frame, cutting her hand before ripping the poster in two, decapitating the image of Stalin. Her eyes were ablaze with victory. She raised the halves of the poster, streaked with her blood, as if brandishing the body of a vanquished foe:

– He’s not my father.

In the communal corridor outside Nikolai’s apartment were the remains of the speech. Seeing the ripped pages, glancing at the words, Leo drew his gun. Behind him, Timur did the same. Paper scrunching underfoot, Leo reached out, taking hold of the door handle. The apartment was unlocked. He nudged open the door, the two of them stepping into the empty living area. There was no sign of a disturbance. The doors to the other rooms were closed except for one-the bathroom door.