Gerald Seymour: The Collaborator

He heard, alongside him, a door open. He said, in his mind, bawled it: Fuck me, do I need that? Do I hell? He turned his head, not full on and used the periphery of his vision. An old woman stood in a doorway and she had a goddam cat in her arms. She looked hard at Lukas and shoved the cat down. It yowled, and she kicked it hard with a gnarled foot that was half in and half out of a slipper, and the cat flew behind him. The door slammed and a bolt was drawn. Silence. He thought the old woman had either refused to move or had been too deaf to know of the evacuation, the cat wanted to pee or crap and had roused her. End of story. I was near, God believe me, to a damn coronary. Don’t do it to me again, please. He had his arm up, scratched above his ear, and could say to his watch face, ‘I don’t aim to make it easy for the shite. We want him rotting.’

He wore navy boxer shorts. They had seen better days and the colour had faded from rich to dull and the elastic in the waist had lost the snap, and the shorts hung slack on his belly.

The pistol barrel had not moved, was in the boy’s hair.

‘I can’t abide shouting, Salvatore, so I’m coming a bit nearer. There’s sensitive things to talk about and I don’t want the world knowing what our business is.’

There were good goose pimples on Lukas’s skin. Mustn’t shiver. Mustn’t show fear. All bluff. He took the first step forward. All a bluff, and an opaque mist chucked over the reality. If the mist was blown away, the bluff called, he was dead and the boy was dead and Salvatore had achieved his bus-pass ride to the angels. The smile was good. It was a rare talent: Lukas’s smile never looked as if it was pasted on his face, and it was calm, quiet and as sincere as it came. He was on the fourth and fifth steps, stretching them.

‘I’m not a danger to you, Salvatore, I’m a friend, and I’ve come to offer help. Trust me.’

He didn’t know how much of what he said was understood, and was unable to gauge the Italian’s comprehension of his message. Lukas thought his bearing more important than anything. His nakedness and his lack of physique proved he threatened nothing, nobody. He heard behind him a soft but strangled howl, and wondered if the bloody cat was nuzzling its damn face against a rifle barrel, and if the animal had been hit with the heel of a hand. Had done ten paces, then twelve. The eyes of Salvatore seemed wider, the lower lip jabbered and the jaw wobbled. He had no voice. Lukas thought he tried to speak and couldn’t.

A hell of a way to spend a night. Good damn thing he looked down because there was syringe glass on the walkway concrete, and shit from a dog – not the cat’s. A hell of a place to be… He kept the smile in place. An instructor for the training of the Critical Incident Response people had said it was the best smile he’d come across and asked why it couldn’t be carried from the role-play scenarios into the canteen when they ate together. It was an act, had no truth. Fifteen paces taken, then sixteen. Always smile. The boy gazed at him like he was a messiah.

‘You have my word, Salvatore, and my word is my bond, that you can trust me, and that way nobody’s hurt, and we get to go home, and you get a proper bed and some sleep and a meal. What I’m working at, Salvatore, is that every one of us is a winner. You know about winning. You win because you’re smart, Salvatore. I can see that. You’re a big man and smart, a winner.’

He could see more of the boy’s face than the hood’s. Shouldn’t have allowed a personal feeling to intrude in the work – had done, and Lukas saw that as a failure. A small one, but failures totted. Too many small ones and there was weight enough for catastrophe. Catastrophe was the pistol being fired, blood spurting, bone splintering… The boy had a good face. Assault teams, negotiators and co-ordinators all wanted to believe that the target for rescue was worth saving, was of gold-plated value. Found half the time, after a rescue, that they were creeps, useless – some too fucking arrogant to offer gratitude, not that Lukas wanted thanks. Wanted a job done well. Had counted them, had done twenty-one steps, was level with the doorway. It was a good face and a terrorised face.

‘I appreciate you letting me up close, Salvatore. An idiot wouldn’t have, but you’re a smart guy. Can I call you “friend”? I’d like to.’

He wasn’t certain. Lukas stood in the centre of the walkway. The boy and Salvatore, wrapped together, like one, were in the doorway. The pistol had not moved from the back of the boy’s head and he saw that it remained cocked, the finger inside the guard, resting on the trigger bar.

‘I want to talk with you, hear you, and that way I can best be your friend, and I can help you.’

He was not yet certain that the hood would not shoot. Inexact sciences – whether, when, why a gunman would pull the damn trigger. One of many sciences for which there could not be textbooks, only a bedrock of experience, was getting into the mind of a holed-up gunman and anticipating whether he wanted to be in a warm, cleaned-out cell or hankered after a one-way ride to Valhalla. Lukas didn’t know.

He did a little roll of his eyebrows to Salvatore. ‘I doubt he means anything to you, that Eddie, anything at all. Doesn’t mean anything to me. Not smart like you, friend, not a winner. Means a great deal to his parents. Pretty ordinary people, and that’s why I said I’d try to help. They’re not winners either – not like you are.’

He put his hands on his hips, as if he was standing in a bar, talking with a man he knew and respected, and sent a message big and clear, and spoke a confidence.

‘He – that’s Eddie – doesn’t know that the bitch – the woman he came to find – wasn’t prepared to lift a finger for him. I’m not supposed to tell you this… She couldn’t care less for him – could have sent signals, could have opened up channels. She’s not changing her mind. You could have sent bits of him back to her, or all of him dumped on her doorstep, and she wouldn’t have changed. Only word for her, “bitch”, but he, that’s Eddie, has only found that out these last three days, whatever. Hurting him, Salvatore, won’t change her, won’t alter a hard bitch… It’s just what I’m thinking.’

They were in the doorway. From where he stood, he couldn’t have touched the boy. Would have had to take a couple of steps to be close enough, then could have tousled the boy’s hair, pinched his cheek or slapped his upper arm for encouragement, but he hadn’t yet convinced himself that the hood wouldn’t shoot. It all happened, in these situations, so damn fast – was so damn unpredictable.

He thought that at least five rifles were aimed at the little part of Salvatore’s body protruding from the doorway’s recess. Not enough to give the marksmen an aim and have them shoot, and the pistol remained at the boy’s neck. It would be one word, or a short sentence, one movement or gesture that could change it, and the pistol might be moved and might be fired. Lukas didn’t know. He stood, near naked and cold, fighting the urge to shiver, and couldn’t know whether what he said or did would win or lose it. The lips moved. He strained to hear.

‘They will never take me…’

They all say that, friend, he murmured in his mind, and kept the smile. And I don’t know whether I believe you. Have to find out, don’t I? The smile clung to his face.

*

‘They will never take me as a prisoner.’ His voice seemed to growl from deep in his throat. The breath hissed on the back of Eddie’s neck.

He didn’t know whether the smile, six or seven feet from him, was real or manufactured.

‘Not me, not a prisoner. One step, I shoot.’

Eddie felt himself a spectator. The man’s arm was tight round him and the man’s fingers were hard in a fold of his T-shirt, and the man’s bones were against his buttocks, the chest against his back, the head against his own. A spectator, a voyeur, a watcher. He could not relate to the incoherent babble of the man and the breath on his neck and the wet spit coming with it.