M Sellars - Miranda

Still, right now, I needed to think. Unfortunately, what I needed to think about wasn’t what kept replaying through my mind.

“I’m sorry, honey…” I finally muttered. “Pretty dramatic exit, huh?”

“Aye, I’d give it a weak five,” Felicity answered softly, with an audible shrug in her voice. “Honestly, you were fairly subdued in the drama department.”

“I’m glad you’re able to joke about it,” I said. “Because I’m not.”

“I’m sorry…” she said. “Are you okay then?”

“Not really,” I admitted.

I could hear her measured breathing as she waited for me to embellish upon the comment. After a long pause she reached out and placed her hand softly against my arm and simply held it there. When I still remained quiet, she elected to probe for a more complete answer. “Headache? Voices?”

“No…” I said. “Gods, if only that’s what it was. Then maybe this wouldn’t be happening.”

“What is it then?”

I paused for a moment and then simply said, “This.”

“This?” she asked.

I lowered my hands and opened my eyes. The blurred image of my wife was no more than a foot away, staring back at me with what appeared to be concern and curiosity twisting her face. She gently rubbed her palm against my arm then brought up her other hand and offered me my eyeglasses.

“You dropped these,” she told me. “How they didn’t end up scratched I’ll never know.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, taking them from her and slipping them onto my face.

Her pale countenance came sharply into focus, wide eyes fixed firmly upon mine. The previously fuzzy expression of inquisitive disquiet creasing her face was now crisp and clear.

She waited a moment and then verbally pushed me once again, “You said ‘this.’ What did you mean?”

“This,” I repeated, shaking my head and gesturing back toward the building. “This place. This situation. You. All of it.”

“What about it then?”

I shook my head. “I can’t let you do it, Felicity. I just can’t.”

While she still held concern in her eyes, the curiosity in her face seemed to morph into something resembling slight annoyance. “Aye, Rowan, we just had this conversation. I told you that you cannot make this decision for me. And, we’ve already discussed…”

“I know,” I said, cutting her off. “I know. But, trust me, I have a valid reason.”

“All right then, tell me. I’m listening.”

“It’s not that simple,” I objected.

She sighed heavily. “I’m not someone off the street who’s unaware, Rowan. You aren’t alone in this. I understand… I believe… Talk to me.”

“I know that, honey. But this is…” I let my voice fade as the necessary words hid from me.

“Caorthann,” she urged. “I’m not blind. I know this has something to do with what you’ve been keeping from me… The thing you saw in that last vision that you won’t say. The thing that’s eating away at you.”

“Yeah…” I whispered. “It does.”

“And that’s what I was really after you to tell me this morning,” she added.

“I know you were.”

“Obviously whatever it is you saw has something to do with me… And whatever that is, it terrifies you.”

“It does,” I agreed.

“Tell me then.”

“Felicity…”

“No…” she interrupted. “No excuses. You told me this morning you were afraid that Miranda would take me away from you. Well, you need to know that I’m afraid too because right now she’s taking you away from me…”

I sighed and looked past her for a moment. There was more than mere sentiment in her words. She had a valid point. Miranda was dividing in order to conquer, and I was letting her. I drew in a deep breath then brought my gaze back to meet my wife’s and unburdened myself, just as she wanted. “Ariel showed up in that vision.”

“You mean Ariel Tanner?” she asked.

I nodded.

“But you haven’t connected to her across the veil in years,” Felicity continued. “I assumed her spirit had moved on.”

“I know, me too,” I agreed. “But apparently that isn’t the case.”

“What did she say then?” Felicity pressed.

“It’s not so much what she said,” I told her. “It’s something that she showed me.”

“Something about me, I assume?”

“Yes,” I almost whispered. “She showed me you…or, what little is left after Miranda pushes you out of your own body.”

“Aye, and that’s what has you so troubled?”

“Shouldn’t it?” I asked.

“Rowan…” Felicity shook her head as she breathed my name. “You know the future is not set.”

“But I also know that the things Ariel showed to me before actually did come to pass.”

“Not true,” she contended. “They happened, yes, but not exactly as you’d seen. You changed them. Because of the one possible future Ariel showed you, you were able to change the outcome. You saved a little girl’s life if you remember.”

“I know,” I said. “And now I’m trying to save yours.”

“By stopping me from doing this,” she observed softly.

“Yes.”

She stared off to the side for a moment then shook her head and looked back into my eyes. “Aye, but what if you aren’t saving me?”

“What do you mean?”

“What if this is exactly what Miranda wants? For you to give in to your fears and keep me from finding a way to stop her.”

“I considered that. But what if it’s the other way around? What if she’s just luring you in? She’s the one who’s blocking me, Felicity. You know that.”

“Aye, I do,” she said with a nod. “But we can’t know for sure which path to take if all we do is stand here worrying over the outcome.”

“Inaction is a path unto itself,” I objected.

“A stagnant path with no future,” she replied. “I can be just as pseudo-philosophical as you.”

“I’m still not excited about the other options.”

“But we have to at least choose one.”

“I thought I had.”

“I said we,” she replied. “We have to choose it together. If we’re wrong, we can always turn back.”

“Can you?”

“We have to try.”

“That’s my point,” I objected. “When it comes to this, there is no we. There’s just you. I’m as good as blind, Felicity.”

She shook her head. “Aye, but I’m not.”

“And that’s what makes you vulnerable.”

“Which is why I need you with me. Blind or not, you can still keep me grounded.”

“Need I remind you that the one time you did this, your reaction to channeling a victim was far worse than anything that’s ever happened to me?”

She shook her head and quietly snorted. “Rowan…you only say that because you were on the outside looking in for a change. I’ve watched far worse happen to you…and cried over it more times than you know.”

“Honey…”

“Shhh…” she hushed me as she briefly touched her fingers against my lips. “We have to do this. You know it. She already knows how to find us. We can’t hide forever.”

“So this is where you draw the line in the sand?”

“Aye.”

I sighed. “But, if you’re wrong, and you can’t turn back?”

“I keep going forward.”

“And, if it’s a trap?”

She looked away for a second then back into my eyes. “Then you will find a way to come rescue me.”

She was correct. If it came to that, I would, no matter what the personal cost. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but hear Ariel’s voice in my head saying, “She’s been waiting for you, Rowan. She’s been waiting for so very long now…”

“Sorry about all that,” I apologized.