K Stewart - A Shot in the Dark

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Being reminded of that made me feel petty, which then made me feel ashamed. And my response to shame is to get defensive, which comes out in a rather vicious brand of humor.

I smirked and asked him, “Not coming inside?” knowing full well that he couldn’t. Mira had long ago placed magical wards on the doors and windows, specifically to keep Axel out. I didn’t know what would happen if he tried to pass through them, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be pleasant.

Axel gave me a smirk in return, but it faded. We both stood uncomfortably in the rain, looking everywhere but at each other. Finally, he said, “How’ve you been, Jesse?”

“I’m still upright and breathing. Why?”

He shrugged. “Just asking. Been a while since I’ve had to try to make small talk.”

The rain picked up, the pleasant shower promising to become a downpour in short order. And since this was getting way too chick-flicky for me, I decided to cut straight to the meat. “What do you want, Axel?”

“What makes you think I want anything?”

“Because you always want something.” He always wanted one thing: my soul. Which was why I’d booted him out of my yard about six months ago. Big jerk nearly got me killed with his hints and taunts and sly smirks. “And what’s with the getup?” I gestured at his all-too-human body. Normally, his appearances involved possessed squirrels, and once a really nasty opossum.

“You ever think maybe I just wanted a burger? And a beer. Oh that beer was wonderful.” He paused a moment, a blissfully dreamy expression on his face until I cleared my throat. “It’s almost impossible to drink out of those bottles when you’re six inches tall, you know. And a beer-drinking squirrel is a bit conspicuous.” I just raised a brow at him. We both knew he hadn’t answered my question yet. “I was in the neighborhood, all right? Thought I’d swing by and say ‘hey’.”

I had to chuckle at that, and he gave me a surprised look. “Come on. You really expect me to buy that? You used to be better at this.”

For a moment he tried to find something to say to refute me, but. .. well, you just can’t. He finally chuckled and shrugged again. “Yeah, I did. Guess my heart’s not in it right now.”

“Maybe you need a vacation.”

“Ah, wouldn’t that be grand? Somewhere warm, with a beach…” There was that wistfulness to his face again, for all of about three seconds. Then something in his eyes became more… pointed, somehow. Sharper. “Aren’t you taking a vacation here soon? Your annual camping trip thingy?”

“Yeah.” He obviously knew, already. It wasn’t like I was revealing trade secrets. “We’re leaving day after tomorrow.” Immediately following the annual Dawson family barbecue and snarky T-shirt contest always came the annual guys’ paintball extravaganza, in the wilds of Colorado. Yet another attempt to make all the amends I needed to.

“That’s good! You should definitely go do that.” He did everything but clap his hands in glee. “A vacation might do you a world of good, and all that fresh air out in the middle of nowhere should be exhilarating…” He paused in his enthusiastic babbling when I frowned at him. “What?”

“Since when did you become a travel guide?”

“What, just because I’m a demon, I can’t appreciate nature’s bounty?”

I winced and glanced behind me, but they’d all gone inside. Only Mira remained in the kitchen, cleaning up and looking over her shoulder to check on me just a little bit more than necessary. I waved to her, but she didn’t wave back. Her gaze went to Axel, then back to me with a very clear “Get him out of here” message.

Yeah, cause I wanted to be standing out in the rain chitchatting with a demon. “You need to go.”

“Yeah, figured as much. She hates me.” He leaned to the side to look around me, offering Mira a smile that I know she wasn’t going to return.

“ I hate you.”

“If you truly hated me, you’d have had her ward the yard.” He grinned at me.

“I didn’t actually expect you to come back.”

“We always come back.” His smile vanished instantly, and his eyes flared red for a heartbeat. It seemed more an unconscious thing than his usual posturing. “You should remember that. We always come back, Jesse.” For a moment, I thought he’d say more; then he just stuffed his hands in his pockets and wandered off around the corner of the house, shoulders hunched against the steady rain.

I waited for longer than was probably necessary, to make sure he was really gone, and Mira handed me a towel as I came inside.

“What did he want?” Worry warred with outright hostility in her green eyes. My wife was ready to go to war, if need be. God, I loved her.

“I don’t know. He was… being strange.” She raised a brow at me. “Stranger than usual. Did anyone else realize?”

“No. Why would they?”

And that was a huge relief, really. Even my friends who knew what I did in my spare time-Will, who patched me up; Marty, who crafted my weapons; and Cole, whose soul I’d saved-knew nothing about Axel. I suppose, deep down, I was ashamed of myself for even talking to him. I’d never told anyone but Mira. And Esteban now, I guess. The circle widens.

“Here, take these into the living room. They’ve got the football game on.” Mira plopped a bowl of tortilla chips into my hands and shooed me out of the kitchen.

Over the course of the evening I couldn’t forget Axel, but I did manage to push him to the back of my mind for the most part. I had more important things to do. Things like laughing at Will’s truly horrific impressions, teasing Marty about his upcoming foray into fatherhood, just spending time with my little brother, which seemed to happen so rarely anymore.

We watched football. We mocked the commercials. We discussed world events like grown-ups ought to. Seemed like there was something going wrong in every corner of the globe, lately. Riots. Droughts. Unrest and discontent, fledgling conflicts that promised to grow into mini-wars and disasters just poised to strike. Is it any wonder that I’d been in a crappy mood for the last few months? Every time I flipped the TV on, the world was going to hell, and…

See, that’s what I’m talking about right there. The sudden dives into dark thoughts, the overwhelming sense of impending doom. Like there was this giant boot somewhere, and I was just waiting for it to drop on my head. It wasn’t like me, and even I knew it. That’s what I was supposed to be working on. I would enjoy my friends, dammit.

And if I fell into a brooding silence, I had Anna and Nicky there to clamber into my lap, chattering about anything and everything. It didn’t matter what. It was nearly impossible to be glum with the pair of them in close proximity.

I had Dr. Bridget there to threaten electroshock therapy (and of course the guys knew just where to get a spare car battery to make that happen, if she was serious). Her keen eyes watched me when she thought I wasn’t looking, the medical professional in her always analyzing, diagnosing. I couldn’t blame her. It’s what she did, and she was good.

I had Mira. And she was just perfect, hiding her worry much better than I did, touching my shoulder lightly every time she walked past the couch. More than anything, that tiny bit of contact did me a heap of good. Just that reminder that I wasn’t alone, and someone amazing loved me. I glanced over my shoulder to give her a grateful smile.

And somehow, somewhere, Mira and Bridget got their heads together, and before any of us realized just how it happened, Cam-short-for-Cameron had been invited along on our camping/paintball trip.

Oh how wonderful.

3

Nothing can put a dent in a man’s dignity so quickly as being forced to parade around a doctor’s examination room in nothing but a paper sheet. But after my injuries last spring, Mira insisted that I get Dr. Bridget’s okay before I went traipsing off into the wilds of Colorado. So, here I was doing laps while my friend the doctor watched me critically.

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